Through all this crazy planning, crazy drama, and the everyday nonsense that takes place, sometimes you just need to be reminded why you are doing this in the first place. That reminder and God are the only things you need to find the renewed strength to dig in, get things done, and hold dear the one you love so much you are committing you lives to each other.
That form of reminder came today, through my Knotties on the Philly board. One of them posted this article:
http://m.ajc.com/news/gwinnett/couples-wedding-vows-put-592072.html?cxntlid=sldr
I bawled. Then I remembered the story of Kelly, who was a friend of Jackie's; they were both members of the May 2009 board on TK. Kelly married Manny, they went away for their honeymoon, they came back...and she was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Terminal, though from hearing stories and reading her blog, you would have never known because she never gave up fighting. She also never gave up smiling. Kelly died a year later in Manny's arms. She was in her early-mid 30's. Her blog is here:
http://mannyandkelly.blogspot.com/
Beware, you will need a box of tissues, and that's just for the first post.
These two brides helped to bring that reminder to me today; the reminder of why we are planning this wedding. This isn't about the reception, the booze, and the gifts; it's not about the dress, flowers, or cake. It's about the fact that Brian and I love each other so much that, no matter what, we will stick together and make it through as one. That means when the kids are sick, that means when one of us forgets to put gas in the car, that even means if something tragic and a huge blow to our relationship happened (I don't even want to think about that!). We made a commitment, before God, our families and friends, and to ourselves, that our love is solid and strong enough to build a life together on it. And that means right from the time we say I do.
I really feel that so many brides today get lost in the hubbub of planning a wedding; they frustrate themselves over the type of tummy suckers they should wear, the color lipstick, the must take wedding photos, the meals offered, the ribbons tied right...the list goes on and on. What is worse, often they get so into planning the wedding- they have to have that huge, over the top, grandeur party- that they not only forget why, but they forget that the relationship, the whole reason we are here, needs work. A wedding is for a day, a marriage for a lifetime.
People often are shocked when they find out that we are not Catholic but are still having a church wedding; why would we want to do this?! Isn't it inconvenient, a bother to your guests, more money, etc...why not just have the ceremony and reception at the same place? They don't even ask about our relationship with God, and how the marriage and commitment we make to each other is being made to God. For us, that is even more binding than a piece of paper that says we are legally married. We are making our vows in front of the One who created us, knit us both in our mother's wombs, have loved us, laughed with us, cried with us. And He has never ever left us. It's the main reason that I truly believe our marriage can withstand anything- if God can give His only Son, Christ, to suffer the agony, embarrassment, pain, torture, just to save me and all who believe, then who am I to withhold forgiveness from others, including my husband?
Anyway, please, please, I beg of you: When you get home, hug your loved ones, be they moms, dads, sisters, brothers, wifes, husbands, children, whomever. Never let a chance go by where you can say I love you. Cherish them, for they are not here on earth forever. And have faith, strong, unwavering faith, that if they do go to God, you will see them soon; your time on earth without them is a puny number of years compared to the eternity we will spend in heaven with our loved ones and our Lord.
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