Yes, I am alive. I know, you probably thought otherwise, especially if you are keeping up with this blog. And yes, I know I have been a bad blogger. Oh well- deal with it, LOL!
Goodness, where do I even begin?? Brian and I moved! We moved into a "townhome", which is like a mini-townhouse. The kitchen, dining room, and living room are downstairs, and then up a short flight of stairs is the bathroom, bedroom, and a little den/office attached to the bedroom. This place has a washer/dryer (something we didn't have before), and tons of closet space. It has it's own little entrance, not off of some hallway or stairwell. There is even a little garden plot outside our doorway to plant or to hang garden signs if we wish!
We are so happy here. It really feels like a home, instead of an apartment. The neighborhood- and yes, it really feels like a neighborhood instead of an apartment complex- is wonderful. Kids playing outside politely, neighbors who smile and wave, no problems with loud noises or rudeness, actual sidewalks and curbs to walk on (versus the nasty old place we were in). The office staff is extremely polite and helpful. Really, we are so happy with it all. Depending on what happens with money and the tax credit, we may stay here more than a year, that's how much we like it, and we are recommending it to anyone who may be looking for a new place. The best part? Since it's designed with a more efficient space plan, we actually have close to 200 sq ft of usable space that we didn't have at the last place (in actuality, it's only 100 sq ft bigger, but it doesn't have weird hallways or back doors)- and when we signed our lease, we signed during a special, and got this wonderful home for only $45 more a month than we were paying! It really has been a blessing, to have a wonderful home now.
Having this home, instead of being in an apartment, has also helped me a little bit. Instead of being stuck in bed all day, and not wanting to get out because why go a few steps when I can stay in bed?, I can actually go downstairs, and feel like I have accomplished something. I know, that probably made absolutely no sense, but it helps with the depression. Having the washer and dryer in the unit are a blessing- I can watch TV while folding laundry, and I don't have to lug back and forth. We are still in the process of unpacking that last little bit and hanging our pictures and all, but it's coming together nicely.
We are on the lookout for a decent couch/loveseat combo, a couch/oversized chair combo, or a loveseat/oversized chair combo. Right now, the furniture we have makes it painful for me to sit and watch TV for an extended amount of time- I get shooting pains in entire leg up to my hip. It's old furniture, and we are glad to have it for now, but we are of the opinion that it's lived a good life and it needs to go to furniture heaven. Since we don't have the money for a brand new set, we would like to find something either gently used or on clearance (floor models, etc). If you happen to know of anyone in the DE/MD/PA area who might be able to help, please, let us know!
We are in the process of adding to our family- and no, not a baby. We are hoping to have a puppy by the end of the year! Back when surgery was still a possibility, Brian had promised me a dog once I was healed- to help me get out and get moving and so I could also have someone to love on me during the day while he was gone. DO NOT get me wrong, I love our cats, but they aren't exactly come when called and lick my face and cuddle under the cover animals. Having always grown up with a dog, I really am yearning for one. Once the surgery was denied, I was really upset about it. Brian talked to my dad, who thought getting me a dog would still be a good idea- it gives me some responsibility during the day, something to do and take care of and get me up and going. Those things have been lacking in my life, and since I really want something that doesn't give me the option, but requires me to step up to the plate, but also gives me positive feedback, a dog seems like a good option. We are on the lookout, from a reputable breeder, for either a yorkie, a yorkipoo (yorkie poodle mix), or a morkie (a maltese yorkie mix). Reason being for the small dog is we can take care of it in a smaller place, we can train it to piddle pads if the weather is bad or it's a bad pain day for me and we can't get outside, and when outside, it doesn't require the long, strenuous walks that bigger dogs would need but I can't provide. I have always wanted a yorkie or yorkie mix, so this is the perfect time to add to our family. I am already so excited about the idea of getting out of bed and taking it for a walk in the morning, and then going on family walks in the evening once Brian is home. Being a girl, I am also excited about the pet fashion world out there- don't worry, I won't go overboard, just some matching leashes and collars, a cute carrier, and maybe a jacket or two for those cold days (which are actually recommended!). We know we want a girl, so that makes it a little harder to find one- but we will, we will. In the meantime, it's teaching me patience. And please, no grief about the not getting a dog from a shelter and buying from a breeder. Brian and I, with the help of my dad, have made the decision that is best for our family. We have talked over all options, including rescue, and right now, this is what we have decided is right for us. No, we are not against shelters- both our cats are rescues- but with other factors playing in, a breeder dog is where we want to go right now.
Wedding related, there's not much to post on. Again, I have slacked off and have not secured the DJ or the Videographer. We had some family drama this past month as well, and I am not sure if I will have 2 or 3 bridesmaids- I am not going to say any more, as it hurts very much emotionally to think about what happened, and emotional hurt causes me physical pain. I can say this: Brian and I, mostly me, have had thoughts of giving up on this wedding day and just eloping or doing a destination wedding by ourselves. Truth be told, I wouldn't mind it after what all went down. But, I love my family, and I love my soon-to-be in laws. My parents were so happy when we got engaged, my grandmother was beaming, and the same with Brian's family, that I can't do that to them. I know my mom, whether she says or not, wants a happy wedding, and I know my dad wants that walk down the aisle. My sisters have been so supportive during this time in my life, the least I can do is honor them with a place in my wedding- I don't see it as them honoring me by standing beside me, but I see it as they mean the world, and I want them there with me as a thank you, to honor them for the important roles they play in our lives. So, at the end of the day, the wedding goes on...which is fine. Because, at the end of that special day, all that matters to me is that I am Mrs. BLW, and married to Brian.
I will end it there for now, except for one thing. Please, if you are reading this, offer a prayer up for my niece, and for my sister's family. Right now, she is going through the diagnosis stage for Autism; she has the base diagnosis and they know she is on the spectrum, but they don't know where she falls yet. Obviously, this is a big blow- She is 8 years old, and it wasn't expected. While there is comfort in knowing what is wrong, and that she will get the help she so desperately needs, there is also the heartache of knowing she is 1 in 150 children on the spectrum, and that will never go away. Brian and I are so profoundly grateful right now, as well, for so many things- for the fact that my sister is an amazing mom and staunch advocate for her children and will do what needs to be done so my niece gets the best she can, for Shannon and Devin and the training and insight they have offered us in dealing with ASDs- we really see the crossing of our lives now as a blessing from the Lord. He knew what He was doing when I started working with Devin, and He knew that my sister and her family would need that training, guidance, and contacts later down the road. Shannon and her family are such a blessing from God, in so many ways, and we really do thank Him for them on a constant basis. It's amazing how things work out, without knowing why. Anyway, please, offer a prayer up for my niece, T. The family will make it through this, but we can use all the help we can get. Thankfully, we know that God has each of us in His arms, and that He will never give us too much- and if the Devil somehow changes that, the almighty Lord will carry us through, in is strong yet comfortable arms. We also know that mistakes will be made, but at the end of the day, our Father in Heaven loves His children so much that He gave us Jesus to die for our sins, and no matter how sick, guilty, or wrong we are, nothing can take that away- nothing.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Struggling with RSD...
Ever since my surgery got denied, it's been really rough. I have been more depressed lately (I can tell, as can Brian and my family), and the pain has been really bad. My breakthrough pain is really bad, and the doctor had to up my meds again. I just don't know how much more I can take.
At the urging of Brian and my family, I found an RSD message board that has a good amount of traffic on it, so I am able to get some decent answers to many questions I have. So many of my questions my doctor can't answer, which doesn't help me. It often leaves me walking the trail, happening upon many forks in the road, and not knowing which one to take.
One of those forks in the road is about the Spinal Cord Stimulator. When I had my trial done (which went wonderfully), one of the questions my doctor could not answer was about pregnancy. He said he had no data, there were no trials, regarding Spinal Cord Stimulators and pregnancy. And while he said I could give birth, he didn't know about epidurals, C-sections, and how the SCS would affect all of that.
Which left me at a great impass. Brian and I know we want to have a family- I have dreamed about being a mom for so long, I refuse to give it up because of some stupid disease. But with no data, no info, how do I know if I am making the right decision? At the urging of everyone, especially after the positive trial, I decided to pursue the SCS, despite some misgivings I had in the back of my mind. I really thought that this was the best course of option.
Now that I am on this message board, though, I am reconsidering it and reconsidering it more and more. It's been denied once, so we would have to spend the next year fighting it, with no guarantee that I would be granted it. And the research I am doing...well, it's not pleasing me very much. From what I can find out, the SCS may not be the best option. Apparently, when the trial was more than a year before the permanent implant, the likelihood of the permanent implant working as well as the trial implant did diminishes greatly- they don't know why, they just know that it does. And I am reading story after story of the SCS causing RSD to spread to other limbs, making the RSD I have now worse, and just bad things in general- including things from my regular pain specialist. The worst, though, is what I have heard about pregnancy.
Apparently, with pregnancy and SCS, the news is just not good all around. Since my doctor couldn't tell me anything, I asked around to see what others had been told by their doctors. Some patients said (more than one) that their doctors told them during pregnancy, the SCS must be turned off, because of the risk of pre-term labor. Others have told me that I would not be able to have an epidural, which means either doing it without drugs (which I won't be able to do) or if I have to have a C-section for some reason, I would have to be put under general anesthesia. So I have now missed the birth of my child because of an implant that I haven't been able to use for 9 months...something just doesn't seem right here.
So I did a bit more investigating. I had heard rumblings through different articles and such that getting pregnant can put RSD into remission, but I had not found anything conclusive or found any woman who this had happened to. Lo and behold, on the message board, one of the ladies just announced that she is pregnant, and in remission- for the second time! While this does not happen to all women with RSD- some can have their RSD become worse- it seems to happen to the majority of women, from what I can tell. Apparently, it's an auto-immune response, combined with the hormonal changes.
This has made me wonder- okay, now I could, most likely, have children with the epidural and not miss it. But what about the time period when I am not pregnant? What if the remission doesn't happen for me? I can't take the oral pain meds I am on! No, but I CAN take the pain meds through the patch- which I am using right now! Apparently, it is safe to use during pregnancy, as there are a couple of women on the board who have used it during.
Okay, that solves the remission questions. What about the other times? Brian can't keep me pregnant forever, and while the patch would be a short term solution, eventually I would like to be pain free at some point in my life. I had heard of the Ketamine imfusions (you may have too, especially the ketamine comas over in Germany, where they put people into coma for about a week to try and reset the CNS). The coma is not approved for use here in the US, but the imfusion (about 6 hours long) is. It's done in Philly, at Drexel University- not far from where I am. My doctor had mentioned it as an option, and said she would write me a referral if that is what I wanted.
But there are drawbacks, too. My doctor mentioned she had another patient on the imfusions, and while they worked, during the infusions patients experience terrible side effects. My doctor said that she had heard of hallucinations- bad ones. Ones where you are being raped, tortured, killed. But the trade off is being pain free- for a long while. I have heard anywhere from 9 months to two years mentioned. I have to do more research, as this has only recently become a distant possible option.
But where do I draw the line? When do I say, this side effect is better than that side effect? Is the trade off worth it? Brian and I talked about it, and he said he would support me, but that he didn't know if he could be there for 6 hours while I had horrible hallucinations- if he had to, he would tough it out, but he said he couldn't stand to see me go through that. When do I say enough is enough?
I just don't know what to do. I never thought I would have to make decisions like these at 23- decide between missing the birth of my child or hallucinate horrible happenings. what do I do? I have prayed and prayed, and I know there are so many others out there praying for me now (I can't even begin to count the number of prayer chains I am on). I will continue praying, and I know that God will see Brian and I through this. I just wish, for once, I could catch a break from all of this. Maybe, God, it's not too much to ask for a sign of what decision to make? For a little bit of comfort, and alot of healing? I just don't know what to do, and I need some help and guidance.
At the urging of Brian and my family, I found an RSD message board that has a good amount of traffic on it, so I am able to get some decent answers to many questions I have. So many of my questions my doctor can't answer, which doesn't help me. It often leaves me walking the trail, happening upon many forks in the road, and not knowing which one to take.
One of those forks in the road is about the Spinal Cord Stimulator. When I had my trial done (which went wonderfully), one of the questions my doctor could not answer was about pregnancy. He said he had no data, there were no trials, regarding Spinal Cord Stimulators and pregnancy. And while he said I could give birth, he didn't know about epidurals, C-sections, and how the SCS would affect all of that.
Which left me at a great impass. Brian and I know we want to have a family- I have dreamed about being a mom for so long, I refuse to give it up because of some stupid disease. But with no data, no info, how do I know if I am making the right decision? At the urging of everyone, especially after the positive trial, I decided to pursue the SCS, despite some misgivings I had in the back of my mind. I really thought that this was the best course of option.
Now that I am on this message board, though, I am reconsidering it and reconsidering it more and more. It's been denied once, so we would have to spend the next year fighting it, with no guarantee that I would be granted it. And the research I am doing...well, it's not pleasing me very much. From what I can find out, the SCS may not be the best option. Apparently, when the trial was more than a year before the permanent implant, the likelihood of the permanent implant working as well as the trial implant did diminishes greatly- they don't know why, they just know that it does. And I am reading story after story of the SCS causing RSD to spread to other limbs, making the RSD I have now worse, and just bad things in general- including things from my regular pain specialist. The worst, though, is what I have heard about pregnancy.
Apparently, with pregnancy and SCS, the news is just not good all around. Since my doctor couldn't tell me anything, I asked around to see what others had been told by their doctors. Some patients said (more than one) that their doctors told them during pregnancy, the SCS must be turned off, because of the risk of pre-term labor. Others have told me that I would not be able to have an epidural, which means either doing it without drugs (which I won't be able to do) or if I have to have a C-section for some reason, I would have to be put under general anesthesia. So I have now missed the birth of my child because of an implant that I haven't been able to use for 9 months...something just doesn't seem right here.
So I did a bit more investigating. I had heard rumblings through different articles and such that getting pregnant can put RSD into remission, but I had not found anything conclusive or found any woman who this had happened to. Lo and behold, on the message board, one of the ladies just announced that she is pregnant, and in remission- for the second time! While this does not happen to all women with RSD- some can have their RSD become worse- it seems to happen to the majority of women, from what I can tell. Apparently, it's an auto-immune response, combined with the hormonal changes.
This has made me wonder- okay, now I could, most likely, have children with the epidural and not miss it. But what about the time period when I am not pregnant? What if the remission doesn't happen for me? I can't take the oral pain meds I am on! No, but I CAN take the pain meds through the patch- which I am using right now! Apparently, it is safe to use during pregnancy, as there are a couple of women on the board who have used it during.
Okay, that solves the remission questions. What about the other times? Brian can't keep me pregnant forever, and while the patch would be a short term solution, eventually I would like to be pain free at some point in my life. I had heard of the Ketamine imfusions (you may have too, especially the ketamine comas over in Germany, where they put people into coma for about a week to try and reset the CNS). The coma is not approved for use here in the US, but the imfusion (about 6 hours long) is. It's done in Philly, at Drexel University- not far from where I am. My doctor had mentioned it as an option, and said she would write me a referral if that is what I wanted.
But there are drawbacks, too. My doctor mentioned she had another patient on the imfusions, and while they worked, during the infusions patients experience terrible side effects. My doctor said that she had heard of hallucinations- bad ones. Ones where you are being raped, tortured, killed. But the trade off is being pain free- for a long while. I have heard anywhere from 9 months to two years mentioned. I have to do more research, as this has only recently become a distant possible option.
But where do I draw the line? When do I say, this side effect is better than that side effect? Is the trade off worth it? Brian and I talked about it, and he said he would support me, but that he didn't know if he could be there for 6 hours while I had horrible hallucinations- if he had to, he would tough it out, but he said he couldn't stand to see me go through that. When do I say enough is enough?
I just don't know what to do. I never thought I would have to make decisions like these at 23- decide between missing the birth of my child or hallucinate horrible happenings. what do I do? I have prayed and prayed, and I know there are so many others out there praying for me now (I can't even begin to count the number of prayer chains I am on). I will continue praying, and I know that God will see Brian and I through this. I just wish, for once, I could catch a break from all of this. Maybe, God, it's not too much to ask for a sign of what decision to make? For a little bit of comfort, and alot of healing? I just don't know what to do, and I need some help and guidance.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Flowers!
So, I just realized, I never told this bloggy-blog about my meeting with the florist, and how ah-mazing it went! Guess what this post is going to be about?
We are using Belak Flowers, in Wilmington, DE. Located on Philadelphia Pike, Barb (the owner) is a member at our church. I have seen her work before, and I can't gush enough over it. Fabulous, that's what it is. One of the girls on the Knot, Steph, used her as well, and absolutely loved her.
So we went and met with her- and of course, per the usual Brittany, I had no idea what I wanted. Does this surprise anyone? We sat with her for 3 hours. 3 hours of flowers, trying to figure out what I wanted, what looked the best, etc etc. And Barb was amazing, so accommodating, and helped steer me towards what I wanted.
During the appointment, we kept going through books of bouquets, trying to figure out a starting point. I knew I did not want Calla Lilies (soooooo overdone at weddings), and I didn't really want blue flowers- while I have a blue dress (or at least a blue train), blue flowers are so few, which would have left us with only a few choices. And really, I am not a fan of hydrangeas.
I told Barb I definitely wanted Stephanotis- it's one of my favorite flowers, if not the most favorite. We decided early on to use the stephanotis, but reserve it only for Brian and I. I wanted something to designate our status, and what is better than my favorite flower? In one of the books she has, she had this gorgeous bouquet that I kept going back to. Made up of Freesia, Gardenia, and Green Lisianthus, with other white filler flowers, it was so different, so unique, yet so gorgeous and simple. She noticed, and asked me about it. She assured me that it would look fine against my dress, even with the green. I had also seen a bouquet with my other favorite flower- Stargazer Lilies. I started thinking out loud.
We ended up replacing the gardenia with stargazer lilies, the freesia (which is a branch flower) with green berries, and adding white daisies with green center. We kept the green lisianthus. So, my bouquet is Stargazer lilies, white daisies, green lisianthus, stephanotis with blue head pins, white filler, and baby's breath, my third favorite flower. I will have a white wrap, with blue crisscrossing ribbons.
I am in love with it. I never thought I would be so happy about flowers, but I really think these are going to turn out wonderful- and when you add in the fact that pink is my favorite color and green is Brian's favorite color, well, that just makes it even more perfect. Brian's boutonniere will be several stephanotis flowers, with blue heads and a blue wrap.
We based everyone else's flowers on mine. The girls will carry smaller bouquets of stargazer lilies, white gerbera daisies (my final favorite flower- love how whimsical they are!), white filler, and we also added blue delphinium (the only blue flower I sort of liked). They will have blue wraps with white crisscrossing ribbons. The groomsmen will wear a daisy/blue delphinium bout, and the Best Maid will wear a corsage of the bridesmaids flowers. my parents are based around my flowers, and Brian's parents have white spray roses added to differentiate. We also did corsages for the grandmothers, bouts for the grandfathers, a bout for my nephew and corsages for my nieces (simple daisies), and a corsage for my stepmom. We plan on getting a fake stephanotis pomander ball for my niece, so she can keep it (the church doesn't let rose petals anyway).
The best part is for Devin, our ringbearer. He is autistic- I worked in his home therapy program with him for a year. Brian and I are extremely close to his family; Shannon (his mom) and I are really good friends- and she is such an advocate for her children, implementing a total home therapy program for him all on her own. His dad, FahPow, works for duPont. He has a little sister, Sheenie, who is a doll. And then there's Dev- this adorable little 6 year old who will totally win your heart over with his giant smile, close hugs, and blowing kisses. He isn't verbal, but he communicates in other ways- typing, spelling, word walls, signing, etc. And let me tell you, from the moment I met him, from the moment Brian met him, he has just weaseled his way into our hearts and has stayed there. Even though I don't work in his home therapy program anymore because of my RSD/CRPS, we have still remained very close with them, attending birthday parties and Autism walks. We feel so, so blessed to have them in our lives; Devin and Shannon have taught me so much about joy and about living, and I thank them for those invaluable lessons.
When we told Barb about Devin, we were worried about two things- one, the pin for the bout. She said no worries, they have super strong magnets they can use that he won't be able to rip off. The second worry was about real flowers- we didn't want him potentially putting something pretty but poisonous items in his mouth. Again, not an issue. Barb brought in two different stems of Blue Delphinium, and I was like, okay those are pretty. She proceeded to point out which one was fake and which one wasn't- you couldn't even tell the difference! So Dev will get fake blue delphinium with a magnet, and all is well with him!
Right now, they are not doing our centerpieces, since our centerpieces are included with our package at the hall. Hopefully though, fingers crossed, Barb can work her magic and get on the preferred vendors list for the hall, and then we can go through her. Either way, I plan on doing Gerbera daisies in bright colors for the tables, because I really like bright colors.
Overall, the pricing was amazing, and we were so pleased with Barb and Belak's. They do such an awesome job- Brian and I just went to a wedding where she did them, and they were breathtaking. I never thought I would be excited about flowers (I hate, hate, hate anything nature or gardening, except for veggie gardens), but now that I know what I am getting, and how different it will be from usual wedding flowers, I cannot WAIT!!
We are using Belak Flowers, in Wilmington, DE. Located on Philadelphia Pike, Barb (the owner) is a member at our church. I have seen her work before, and I can't gush enough over it. Fabulous, that's what it is. One of the girls on the Knot, Steph, used her as well, and absolutely loved her.
So we went and met with her- and of course, per the usual Brittany, I had no idea what I wanted. Does this surprise anyone? We sat with her for 3 hours. 3 hours of flowers, trying to figure out what I wanted, what looked the best, etc etc. And Barb was amazing, so accommodating, and helped steer me towards what I wanted.
During the appointment, we kept going through books of bouquets, trying to figure out a starting point. I knew I did not want Calla Lilies (soooooo overdone at weddings), and I didn't really want blue flowers- while I have a blue dress (or at least a blue train), blue flowers are so few, which would have left us with only a few choices. And really, I am not a fan of hydrangeas.
I told Barb I definitely wanted Stephanotis- it's one of my favorite flowers, if not the most favorite. We decided early on to use the stephanotis, but reserve it only for Brian and I. I wanted something to designate our status, and what is better than my favorite flower? In one of the books she has, she had this gorgeous bouquet that I kept going back to. Made up of Freesia, Gardenia, and Green Lisianthus, with other white filler flowers, it was so different, so unique, yet so gorgeous and simple. She noticed, and asked me about it. She assured me that it would look fine against my dress, even with the green. I had also seen a bouquet with my other favorite flower- Stargazer Lilies. I started thinking out loud.
We ended up replacing the gardenia with stargazer lilies, the freesia (which is a branch flower) with green berries, and adding white daisies with green center. We kept the green lisianthus. So, my bouquet is Stargazer lilies, white daisies, green lisianthus, stephanotis with blue head pins, white filler, and baby's breath, my third favorite flower. I will have a white wrap, with blue crisscrossing ribbons.
I am in love with it. I never thought I would be so happy about flowers, but I really think these are going to turn out wonderful- and when you add in the fact that pink is my favorite color and green is Brian's favorite color, well, that just makes it even more perfect. Brian's boutonniere will be several stephanotis flowers, with blue heads and a blue wrap.
We based everyone else's flowers on mine. The girls will carry smaller bouquets of stargazer lilies, white gerbera daisies (my final favorite flower- love how whimsical they are!), white filler, and we also added blue delphinium (the only blue flower I sort of liked). They will have blue wraps with white crisscrossing ribbons. The groomsmen will wear a daisy/blue delphinium bout, and the Best Maid will wear a corsage of the bridesmaids flowers. my parents are based around my flowers, and Brian's parents have white spray roses added to differentiate. We also did corsages for the grandmothers, bouts for the grandfathers, a bout for my nephew and corsages for my nieces (simple daisies), and a corsage for my stepmom. We plan on getting a fake stephanotis pomander ball for my niece, so she can keep it (the church doesn't let rose petals anyway).
The best part is for Devin, our ringbearer. He is autistic- I worked in his home therapy program with him for a year. Brian and I are extremely close to his family; Shannon (his mom) and I are really good friends- and she is such an advocate for her children, implementing a total home therapy program for him all on her own. His dad, FahPow, works for duPont. He has a little sister, Sheenie, who is a doll. And then there's Dev- this adorable little 6 year old who will totally win your heart over with his giant smile, close hugs, and blowing kisses. He isn't verbal, but he communicates in other ways- typing, spelling, word walls, signing, etc. And let me tell you, from the moment I met him, from the moment Brian met him, he has just weaseled his way into our hearts and has stayed there. Even though I don't work in his home therapy program anymore because of my RSD/CRPS, we have still remained very close with them, attending birthday parties and Autism walks. We feel so, so blessed to have them in our lives; Devin and Shannon have taught me so much about joy and about living, and I thank them for those invaluable lessons.
When we told Barb about Devin, we were worried about two things- one, the pin for the bout. She said no worries, they have super strong magnets they can use that he won't be able to rip off. The second worry was about real flowers- we didn't want him potentially putting something pretty but poisonous items in his mouth. Again, not an issue. Barb brought in two different stems of Blue Delphinium, and I was like, okay those are pretty. She proceeded to point out which one was fake and which one wasn't- you couldn't even tell the difference! So Dev will get fake blue delphinium with a magnet, and all is well with him!
Right now, they are not doing our centerpieces, since our centerpieces are included with our package at the hall. Hopefully though, fingers crossed, Barb can work her magic and get on the preferred vendors list for the hall, and then we can go through her. Either way, I plan on doing Gerbera daisies in bright colors for the tables, because I really like bright colors.
Overall, the pricing was amazing, and we were so pleased with Barb and Belak's. They do such an awesome job- Brian and I just went to a wedding where she did them, and they were breathtaking. I never thought I would be excited about flowers (I hate, hate, hate anything nature or gardening, except for veggie gardens), but now that I know what I am getting, and how different it will be from usual wedding flowers, I cannot WAIT!!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
30 things you may not know about my Invisible Illness...
Please support National Invisible Illness Awareness Week! If you have an invisible illness, copy and paste this, and write your own inspirational story in the answers to the questions. Tag random people that might not know about what you are living with, or that you are living with it, so they can spread the word about invisible illnesses.
30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know
1. The illness I live with is: Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD); also known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS)
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2006
3. But I had symptoms since: 2006
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: the loss of freedom and independence that comes with this disease. I am only 23 years old, but I am not allowed to drive, and depend on others for basic needs.
5. Most people assume: that "it's all in my head" or that the pain isn't as bad as I say it is. Most assume this because I often have a smile on face; they don't realize how much effort it takes to put that smile there.
6. The hardest part about mornings are: the nights before. Research has shown that patients with RSD/CRPS or other types of chronic pain have increased activity and duration of activity in their prefrontal cortex of the brain; this translates to an inability to calm down, relax, and unwind at the end of the day, which results in the inability to rest. Often, I am lucky to get only a few hours of sleep each night, because I can't calm down and because of the pain.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: Mystery Diagnosis on TLC- they did an episode on my disease!
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my cane, wheelchair, and the time-released pain patches and medication that technology has come up with (because of the time released items, the side effects I have are minimal compared to other pain meds).
9. The hardest part about nights is: Trying to calm down so that I can attempt to get a few hours sleep, and the pain that has accumulated throughout the day; laying down and not having things to do means I can't ignore it.
10. Each day I take: comfort in knowing that this is real; it's not in my head. This is a real, debilitating disease recognized by doctors and while it takes so much from me, I know that since it is real, I have hope for what will come in treatment for it.
11. Regarding alternative treatments: Faith and hope get you through so much on the difficult days, and give you something to praise the Lord about on the good days. I know that I have my guardian angel watching out for me, and no matter what happens, God and Jesus love me for me.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: invisible- I hate the pity I get from people who know I have the disease, and I don't think I could take the amount of pity I would get from a visible disease. Though I have to say, being helpful and pitying someone are two very different things; remember that when someone in a wheelchair is struggling to get through the door by themselves. Hold the door for them, smile, and help them out- but don't pity them.
13. Regarding working and career: Unfortunately, the work force is not a place that is very understanding, nor does it want to be. I have lost jobs over this disease, because they don't understand or care about the amount of pain I am in. But I keep trucking, and as long as I can do what I really want in life- to be a wife and mother- then I will be fine.
14. People would be surprised to know: How exactly powerful the medication I am on is. I take enough to just get through one day that would put a fully grown man to sleep, and would kill a child. Also, the amount of surgeries and minor procedures I have had would shock people for a disease that isn't visible- I am at 18 and counting.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my reality has been: It's permanent and there is no cure. I am 23 years old, and have a crippling and debilitating disease. Also, some people think I am making this up or it's all in my head- I have to let those people go and move on and not worry about them.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: unfortunately, there isn't much that I have been able to do with this disease. But that's okay, because I am headed towards the biggest moment in my life, and I will do that with this disease- I will marry the man I love on October 2, 2010. I guess you could say planning my life and wedding is something I never thought I would be able to do.
17. The commercials about my illness: do not exist.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Horseback riding. When I was riding, even though I wasn't very good, I felt so free and good about myself. Now, I won't ever be able to ride a horse again, and it breaks my heart so much.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: my independence and driving abilities. Like I said before, when you are 23 and have to depend on others, it's extremely hard to accept.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: I didn't really take up new hobbies, but I have gotten more involved in the ones I loved doing before, but never had time to do: sewing, jewelry making, and scrapbooking. Also, I have become very active in the Boy Scouts with my fiancee, and it really helps me to teach others about disabilities- we do it every time we work with the kids in scouting.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: go horseback riding, for hours and hours.
22. My illness has taught me: who really cares for me, what true love is, patience, humility, faith and hope, and that vanity has no place in my world.
23. Want to know a secret? Just because this disease has effected my life in every aspect, including my weight and ability to exercise, I am still gorgeous and beautiful in every aspect of the words, and no one will take that away from me.
24. I love it when people: are helpful without pitying.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: There is no great loss without some small gain (Ma Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie), and If you want to make God laugh, tell him your life plans. Also, Michael J. Fox once said, "Vanity is the first thing to go" when dealing with a chronic illness, and that has helped remind me tremendously what this is all about.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: It won't be easy, but this will not beat you if you don't let it. Rely on those who want to help, pray, and have faith.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: the response I get from certain individuals, and the response I don't get from other individuals. Sometimes the people you thought wouldn't step up to the plate are the people who go above and beyond, and the people who you thought would stick by your side are often the first to desert in times of need.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: love me. Every day Brian makes sure to let me know that regardless of this disease, he still loves me, he still wants me to be his wife and the mother of his children, and he makes sure to praise me for doing the small things that others find insignificant, but are huge accomplishments for me.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week to:educate, motivate, and let others know that they are not alone in dealing with Invisible Illnesses.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: appreciated and acknowledged as someone fighting a huge and difficult battle that no one should have to fight. Thank you; I cannot say thank you enough.
30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know
1. The illness I live with is: Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD); also known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS)
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2006
3. But I had symptoms since: 2006
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: the loss of freedom and independence that comes with this disease. I am only 23 years old, but I am not allowed to drive, and depend on others for basic needs.
5. Most people assume: that "it's all in my head" or that the pain isn't as bad as I say it is. Most assume this because I often have a smile on face; they don't realize how much effort it takes to put that smile there.
6. The hardest part about mornings are: the nights before. Research has shown that patients with RSD/CRPS or other types of chronic pain have increased activity and duration of activity in their prefrontal cortex of the brain; this translates to an inability to calm down, relax, and unwind at the end of the day, which results in the inability to rest. Often, I am lucky to get only a few hours of sleep each night, because I can't calm down and because of the pain.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: Mystery Diagnosis on TLC- they did an episode on my disease!
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my cane, wheelchair, and the time-released pain patches and medication that technology has come up with (because of the time released items, the side effects I have are minimal compared to other pain meds).
9. The hardest part about nights is: Trying to calm down so that I can attempt to get a few hours sleep, and the pain that has accumulated throughout the day; laying down and not having things to do means I can't ignore it.
10. Each day I take: comfort in knowing that this is real; it's not in my head. This is a real, debilitating disease recognized by doctors and while it takes so much from me, I know that since it is real, I have hope for what will come in treatment for it.
11. Regarding alternative treatments: Faith and hope get you through so much on the difficult days, and give you something to praise the Lord about on the good days. I know that I have my guardian angel watching out for me, and no matter what happens, God and Jesus love me for me.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: invisible- I hate the pity I get from people who know I have the disease, and I don't think I could take the amount of pity I would get from a visible disease. Though I have to say, being helpful and pitying someone are two very different things; remember that when someone in a wheelchair is struggling to get through the door by themselves. Hold the door for them, smile, and help them out- but don't pity them.
13. Regarding working and career: Unfortunately, the work force is not a place that is very understanding, nor does it want to be. I have lost jobs over this disease, because they don't understand or care about the amount of pain I am in. But I keep trucking, and as long as I can do what I really want in life- to be a wife and mother- then I will be fine.
14. People would be surprised to know: How exactly powerful the medication I am on is. I take enough to just get through one day that would put a fully grown man to sleep, and would kill a child. Also, the amount of surgeries and minor procedures I have had would shock people for a disease that isn't visible- I am at 18 and counting.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my reality has been: It's permanent and there is no cure. I am 23 years old, and have a crippling and debilitating disease. Also, some people think I am making this up or it's all in my head- I have to let those people go and move on and not worry about them.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: unfortunately, there isn't much that I have been able to do with this disease. But that's okay, because I am headed towards the biggest moment in my life, and I will do that with this disease- I will marry the man I love on October 2, 2010. I guess you could say planning my life and wedding is something I never thought I would be able to do.
17. The commercials about my illness: do not exist.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Horseback riding. When I was riding, even though I wasn't very good, I felt so free and good about myself. Now, I won't ever be able to ride a horse again, and it breaks my heart so much.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: my independence and driving abilities. Like I said before, when you are 23 and have to depend on others, it's extremely hard to accept.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: I didn't really take up new hobbies, but I have gotten more involved in the ones I loved doing before, but never had time to do: sewing, jewelry making, and scrapbooking. Also, I have become very active in the Boy Scouts with my fiancee, and it really helps me to teach others about disabilities- we do it every time we work with the kids in scouting.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: go horseback riding, for hours and hours.
22. My illness has taught me: who really cares for me, what true love is, patience, humility, faith and hope, and that vanity has no place in my world.
23. Want to know a secret? Just because this disease has effected my life in every aspect, including my weight and ability to exercise, I am still gorgeous and beautiful in every aspect of the words, and no one will take that away from me.
24. I love it when people: are helpful without pitying.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: There is no great loss without some small gain (Ma Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie), and If you want to make God laugh, tell him your life plans. Also, Michael J. Fox once said, "Vanity is the first thing to go" when dealing with a chronic illness, and that has helped remind me tremendously what this is all about.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: It won't be easy, but this will not beat you if you don't let it. Rely on those who want to help, pray, and have faith.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: the response I get from certain individuals, and the response I don't get from other individuals. Sometimes the people you thought wouldn't step up to the plate are the people who go above and beyond, and the people who you thought would stick by your side are often the first to desert in times of need.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: love me. Every day Brian makes sure to let me know that regardless of this disease, he still loves me, he still wants me to be his wife and the mother of his children, and he makes sure to praise me for doing the small things that others find insignificant, but are huge accomplishments for me.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week to:educate, motivate, and let others know that they are not alone in dealing with Invisible Illnesses.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: appreciated and acknowledged as someone fighting a huge and difficult battle that no one should have to fight. Thank you; I cannot say thank you enough.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Hi. Do you remember me? I'm Brittany, the bride?
Yes, I know. It's been a while. Please don't get on my back about it just yet; I promise, cross my heart, I will tell you why.
First off, what do you think of these?
I love them. Love them, love them, love them. They are the color of my train/the color of the girls dresses. They are comfortable. They are nifty, something not expected- from me, of all people. They aren't heels, something I can't wear. They aren't $80 for unflattering, uncomfy flats that I will wear only once. And, best of all, they are sparkly.
My mom thinks I am nuts for wanting to wear something like this. Maybe I am. But when you can't wear heels, and dressy flats put you in pain, why would I want to wear something not like these? Brian loves them, as does half my facebook- in fact, there wasn't a bad comment on the picture at all. Brian even offered to buy them for me! Plus, with these, hopefully I won't need as much help on my wedding, in terms of using my cane/wheelchair/someone's arm.
But wait, Brittany. I thought you told us that you would have your surgery, lose the weight, and walk down the aisle pain free and aide free to the man of your dreams?
Yeah, that was the case. Or so I thought. They denied my surgery.
Shock. Pain. Hysteria. Tears. Yelling and Screaming. More tears. Grief. All of these emotions have been felt over the past 2 weeks, when I found out that I was denied. This was supposed to be a foolproof case, no sweat. Well, apparently, the board that reviewed my case (supposedly an independent board- ha. ha. ha.) doesn't read their facts- or their own reports, for that matter. They think I need to try many different drugs, PT, a longer opiate regime...ALL of which are listed at the beginning of the report as tried! We honestly don't know what to make of the report, either, since they don't really say if I should retry, or if I have to try and then can get the surgery. We think it's the latter, which means all we should be able to do is make a list of dates with the item tried, and show the courts.
Seems easy, huh? Yeah, well, as easy as that sounds, Delaware courts do not seem to favor worker's comp cases, and especially those that deal with RSD. Plus, with the courts systems being so overloaded, this could take 8 months to a year. Which means that I won't have the surgery by my wedding. And yes, it is as heartbreaking a blow to me as you can ever imagine.
Brian has been wonderful- he said he proposed to me as a larger size, he loves me as a larger size, and if it means he marries me as a larger size, then he totally okay with that. It helps somewhat to ease the insecurity I feel about myself, but not totally. Overall, I think Brian is the one person I ache and hurt for the most. He takes care of me. Mentally, phsyically, emotionally, spiritually, financially- in every way you can imagine, he cares for me. And while I know he loves me and would do anything for me, it still is very taxing on a 23 year old. Brian never thought that the woman of his dreams would be an invalid- hell, I never thought I would be sick when I got married. So to watch him care for me in every sense of the word, and then to get news for this, makes me ache for him more than it does for me.
I love Brian, and I am trying to stay strong and rely on my faith during this difficult time. The doctor upped my meds again, did another injection (which calmed down the flare up I was having), and we just keep trucking. It's not easy, don't get me wrong- this is one of those times in life that no one thinks they will ever have to go through. Sometimes it feels like my faith is on sinking sand instead of rock, but when that happens, I pray for the perserverence that I know only Christ can give me. He, after all, loved me before I was knit together in my mother's womb, and will never leave me, no matter what.
First off, what do you think of these?
I love them. Love them, love them, love them. They are the color of my train/the color of the girls dresses. They are comfortable. They are nifty, something not expected- from me, of all people. They aren't heels, something I can't wear. They aren't $80 for unflattering, uncomfy flats that I will wear only once. And, best of all, they are sparkly.
My mom thinks I am nuts for wanting to wear something like this. Maybe I am. But when you can't wear heels, and dressy flats put you in pain, why would I want to wear something not like these? Brian loves them, as does half my facebook- in fact, there wasn't a bad comment on the picture at all. Brian even offered to buy them for me! Plus, with these, hopefully I won't need as much help on my wedding, in terms of using my cane/wheelchair/someone's arm.
But wait, Brittany. I thought you told us that you would have your surgery, lose the weight, and walk down the aisle pain free and aide free to the man of your dreams?
Yeah, that was the case. Or so I thought. They denied my surgery.
Shock. Pain. Hysteria. Tears. Yelling and Screaming. More tears. Grief. All of these emotions have been felt over the past 2 weeks, when I found out that I was denied. This was supposed to be a foolproof case, no sweat. Well, apparently, the board that reviewed my case (supposedly an independent board- ha. ha. ha.) doesn't read their facts- or their own reports, for that matter. They think I need to try many different drugs, PT, a longer opiate regime...ALL of which are listed at the beginning of the report as tried! We honestly don't know what to make of the report, either, since they don't really say if I should retry, or if I have to try and then can get the surgery. We think it's the latter, which means all we should be able to do is make a list of dates with the item tried, and show the courts.
Seems easy, huh? Yeah, well, as easy as that sounds, Delaware courts do not seem to favor worker's comp cases, and especially those that deal with RSD. Plus, with the courts systems being so overloaded, this could take 8 months to a year. Which means that I won't have the surgery by my wedding. And yes, it is as heartbreaking a blow to me as you can ever imagine.
Brian has been wonderful- he said he proposed to me as a larger size, he loves me as a larger size, and if it means he marries me as a larger size, then he totally okay with that. It helps somewhat to ease the insecurity I feel about myself, but not totally. Overall, I think Brian is the one person I ache and hurt for the most. He takes care of me. Mentally, phsyically, emotionally, spiritually, financially- in every way you can imagine, he cares for me. And while I know he loves me and would do anything for me, it still is very taxing on a 23 year old. Brian never thought that the woman of his dreams would be an invalid- hell, I never thought I would be sick when I got married. So to watch him care for me in every sense of the word, and then to get news for this, makes me ache for him more than it does for me.
I love Brian, and I am trying to stay strong and rely on my faith during this difficult time. The doctor upped my meds again, did another injection (which calmed down the flare up I was having), and we just keep trucking. It's not easy, don't get me wrong- this is one of those times in life that no one thinks they will ever have to go through. Sometimes it feels like my faith is on sinking sand instead of rock, but when that happens, I pray for the perserverence that I know only Christ can give me. He, after all, loved me before I was knit together in my mother's womb, and will never leave me, no matter what.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
How about that wedding?
Figured since it's a wedding/relationship blog, maaaaybe I should say something about weddings. Just maybe.
I have said before that if someone asked me what my theme is, I would reply with "Our theme is us. Everything that plays a part in our wedding day- and in our life together- is important to either one or both of us."
Brian and I are doing the candy buffet as a favor. When we decided to do it, it was with the understanding that we would try to make it fun, and do it cheap. Not meaning to offend anyone who is doing color coordination, but it's my personal opinion that people are not looking at what color M&M's or Skittles or whatever is going into their mouths. They just care that it's yummy! We made the decision that color coordination is not for us, since doing it that way often costs quite a bit more money than doing regular candy. Not only that, but if we color coordinated everything, 1) it would look quite boring, in my opinion, and 2) we wouldn't be able to have a lot of Brian and I's favorite candies! Since the theme is "US", what fun would it be if we can't have Sour Patch Kids because they don't "match"? We have been making a list, with help from family and friends, of what candies we want at the wedding. We would ideally like to do a large buffet, with many styles and choices. If we want to do it that way, saving money on the cost of the candy itself is huge. So, for that purchase, we will be heading to places like Costco and BJ's (both wholesale clubs). A 3 lb. bag of regular M&M's or Skittles sells for about $7. To put that in perspective, for the same price, I can get just Blue M&M's, in a 7 oz bag! 5 lbs of the Color Only selection is $50. Skittles? You can't purchase individual colors, as far as I know- which means that we wouldn't be able to have them in our Blue, White, and Silver wedding (and seeing as how Skittles are my mom's absolute favorite candy, well, we kinda need to have them!).
We also are trying to obtain the containers the cheapest way possible as well. I didn't really want to go down the typical road, using only apothecary and candy jars. I really wanted an eclectic look, with different types of cuts and shapes, holding all sorts of different candy! My older sister, Kelly, who is also my Matron of Honor, is awesome when it comes to this. She has scoured consignment shops and Good Will, looking for vases and bowls and anything glass that we could use to hold candy. She has found some pretty awesome containers that way! We have also been to Marshall's, TJ Maxx, and Ross, looking for cool vases that are inexpensive. Finally, I have also done the Trash to Treasure board on the Knot, and have purchased vases another bride used for her candy buffet in her wedding. Because quite a few brides want to get rid of the extras from their wedding (often, it's overtaking their dining room table or spare bedroom, and they want their space back!), other brides-to-be can often find good deals on items that they are looking for- items they will only use once, and hopefully pass onto other brides who can use them. I managed to get 10 containers for $30. In all, I believe we have around 25 glass items; large, small, low, high, all sorts. It is going to look soooo awesome when it finally comes time to set it all up!
In addition to the glassware and all that we have collected, I have also been gathering little odds and ends, here and there. From the same bride who sold me the glassware, I also purchased the photo cardbox (it 4 8x10's in a square box shape, and our guests can put their cards for us into the middle part) and 20 metal small easels, which we will probably use for either the menus and/or the table numbers. My mom's dining room is starting to look a little crowded.
I also found my wedding day jewelry! While down in NOLA, they had a store set up, and a jewelry section in the store. The lady selling jewelry works for a non-profit missionary group that sends missionaries to Mexico. They also build schools and educate girls, young women, and single mothers. Well, they had some GORGEOUS stuff. I had been looking online, but hadn't been able to find anything that really struck my fancy. While browsing through the jewelry there, I saw this breathtaking cross- turns out, it was made by one of the people they help in Mexico, and one of a kind. Only problem was, it was on a strand of pink freshwater pearls, which would not go with my dress at all. When I mentioned how much I liked it but that it wouldn't match, she said she had her supplies with her, and could make it however I wanted! She redid the necklace with white freshwater pearls, white Swavorski crystals, and blue Swavorski Crystals. She also made earrings to match :) The set is perfect; it's what I was looking for, gorgeous yet simple, not overpowering. And for the same price as I was looking online, I was able to help out a non-profit organization, which made me feel good about my purchase!
I contacted and am currently going through DJ material. I can tell you, I do NOT recommend D&J DJ service. I called them to inquire about their services, and was so uncomfortable and put off on the phone, I refuse to book them, even though they came recommended from several friends who had seen them in action. The entire conversation was about how they were the best, and how I should cut my expenses elsewhere to afford them, and how if I book someone else don't come crying to them about how bad it was because he tried to warn me that they were the best and the only ones that matter, and how my hall is horrible and the equipment is sub par and you can't trust the sound system there...It was horrible, and honestly the most uncomfortable convo I have had with a potential vendor yet. They were way out of my price range, and when I finally could get a word in edgewise, I promptly told them that we were on a budget for a reason, and we were just glad that Brian had a job, since I can't work because of medical conditions, and we had budgeted what we could afford. When I mentioned the economy and me having medical conditions that prevent me from working, he got really quiet for a minute and didn't know what to say- but only for a minute. Then it was back to that they were the best and that I had to find the money by cutting it from other vendors or services. I got off the phone as soon as I could, and promptly crossed them off the list. If you are the type to go with the first vendor you talk to because they pressure you, go for it. Otherwise, steer clear of D&J. I am looking now into Schaffer Sound and Tom Barrett DJ- if you have comments about either, let me know!
That's about it for the wedding updates (at least, I think so). More fun and adventurous posts coming later!
I have said before that if someone asked me what my theme is, I would reply with "Our theme is us. Everything that plays a part in our wedding day- and in our life together- is important to either one or both of us."
Brian and I are doing the candy buffet as a favor. When we decided to do it, it was with the understanding that we would try to make it fun, and do it cheap. Not meaning to offend anyone who is doing color coordination, but it's my personal opinion that people are not looking at what color M&M's or Skittles or whatever is going into their mouths. They just care that it's yummy! We made the decision that color coordination is not for us, since doing it that way often costs quite a bit more money than doing regular candy. Not only that, but if we color coordinated everything, 1) it would look quite boring, in my opinion, and 2) we wouldn't be able to have a lot of Brian and I's favorite candies! Since the theme is "US", what fun would it be if we can't have Sour Patch Kids because they don't "match"? We have been making a list, with help from family and friends, of what candies we want at the wedding. We would ideally like to do a large buffet, with many styles and choices. If we want to do it that way, saving money on the cost of the candy itself is huge. So, for that purchase, we will be heading to places like Costco and BJ's (both wholesale clubs). A 3 lb. bag of regular M&M's or Skittles sells for about $7. To put that in perspective, for the same price, I can get just Blue M&M's, in a 7 oz bag! 5 lbs of the Color Only selection is $50. Skittles? You can't purchase individual colors, as far as I know- which means that we wouldn't be able to have them in our Blue, White, and Silver wedding (and seeing as how Skittles are my mom's absolute favorite candy, well, we kinda need to have them!).
We also are trying to obtain the containers the cheapest way possible as well. I didn't really want to go down the typical road, using only apothecary and candy jars. I really wanted an eclectic look, with different types of cuts and shapes, holding all sorts of different candy! My older sister, Kelly, who is also my Matron of Honor, is awesome when it comes to this. She has scoured consignment shops and Good Will, looking for vases and bowls and anything glass that we could use to hold candy. She has found some pretty awesome containers that way! We have also been to Marshall's, TJ Maxx, and Ross, looking for cool vases that are inexpensive. Finally, I have also done the Trash to Treasure board on the Knot, and have purchased vases another bride used for her candy buffet in her wedding. Because quite a few brides want to get rid of the extras from their wedding (often, it's overtaking their dining room table or spare bedroom, and they want their space back!), other brides-to-be can often find good deals on items that they are looking for- items they will only use once, and hopefully pass onto other brides who can use them. I managed to get 10 containers for $30. In all, I believe we have around 25 glass items; large, small, low, high, all sorts. It is going to look soooo awesome when it finally comes time to set it all up!
In addition to the glassware and all that we have collected, I have also been gathering little odds and ends, here and there. From the same bride who sold me the glassware, I also purchased the photo cardbox (it 4 8x10's in a square box shape, and our guests can put their cards for us into the middle part) and 20 metal small easels, which we will probably use for either the menus and/or the table numbers. My mom's dining room is starting to look a little crowded.
I also found my wedding day jewelry! While down in NOLA, they had a store set up, and a jewelry section in the store. The lady selling jewelry works for a non-profit missionary group that sends missionaries to Mexico. They also build schools and educate girls, young women, and single mothers. Well, they had some GORGEOUS stuff. I had been looking online, but hadn't been able to find anything that really struck my fancy. While browsing through the jewelry there, I saw this breathtaking cross- turns out, it was made by one of the people they help in Mexico, and one of a kind. Only problem was, it was on a strand of pink freshwater pearls, which would not go with my dress at all. When I mentioned how much I liked it but that it wouldn't match, she said she had her supplies with her, and could make it however I wanted! She redid the necklace with white freshwater pearls, white Swavorski crystals, and blue Swavorski Crystals. She also made earrings to match :) The set is perfect; it's what I was looking for, gorgeous yet simple, not overpowering. And for the same price as I was looking online, I was able to help out a non-profit organization, which made me feel good about my purchase!
I contacted and am currently going through DJ material. I can tell you, I do NOT recommend D&J DJ service. I called them to inquire about their services, and was so uncomfortable and put off on the phone, I refuse to book them, even though they came recommended from several friends who had seen them in action. The entire conversation was about how they were the best, and how I should cut my expenses elsewhere to afford them, and how if I book someone else don't come crying to them about how bad it was because he tried to warn me that they were the best and the only ones that matter, and how my hall is horrible and the equipment is sub par and you can't trust the sound system there...It was horrible, and honestly the most uncomfortable convo I have had with a potential vendor yet. They were way out of my price range, and when I finally could get a word in edgewise, I promptly told them that we were on a budget for a reason, and we were just glad that Brian had a job, since I can't work because of medical conditions, and we had budgeted what we could afford. When I mentioned the economy and me having medical conditions that prevent me from working, he got really quiet for a minute and didn't know what to say- but only for a minute. Then it was back to that they were the best and that I had to find the money by cutting it from other vendors or services. I got off the phone as soon as I could, and promptly crossed them off the list. If you are the type to go with the first vendor you talk to because they pressure you, go for it. Otherwise, steer clear of D&J. I am looking now into Schaffer Sound and Tom Barrett DJ- if you have comments about either, let me know!
That's about it for the wedding updates (at least, I think so). More fun and adventurous posts coming later!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The house that wasn't
Yes. You read right. Wasn't.
We did not get the house. And we will not be purchasing a home for another year. Instead, we will be moving out of our current apartment, and moving into another apartment (one that is better all around- if you are moving to DE, I do not, in any way, recommend Cavalier Country Club Apartments, for a host of reasons!).
What happened? Simple enough, HUD and FHA changed the rules on July 15th. They did it with no notice, and because of the changes, Brian doesn't qualify for FHA anymore. Simply put, he's a 1099 tax form employee, and you have to have been a W2 tax form employee for at least a year.
It's heartwrenching. It's maddening. We had gone through with closing and the inspection, and the mortgage broker waited almost 2 weeks to tell us- something that really got under our skin. Needless to say, we won't be using him in the future. He cost us a ton of money that we wouldn't have had to put out if he had informed us as soon as he knew and understood the rule change. Our wonderful realtor, Lauren, contacted another broker on our behalf, and that one tried and tried to get us through. But when FHA says no, it's a no. The Kicker, with a capital K? The house we were going to end up in was the second house that we looked at in the whole process, back in May. If we had done it then, we would have sneaked in right before the rule change.
Am I mad? Absolutely. I wonder how the government (HUD) and FHA can expect the housing market to be on the upclimb if they keep pulling the funding needed? What's the use in offering the tax credit? I have heard in the rumor mill several things: one, that HUD and the government will most likely be offering another tax credit next year, and most likely in a larger amount. I have also heard through the grapevine that because FHA/HUD put these regulation and rule changes into effect, it will more than likely put us into another 2 or 3 housing slumps; if you thought this was bad, nope. It will get worse from here.
So maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this is God's way of saying, good things come to those who wait. Not that patience was ever one of my virtues. But who knows. Maybe we will end up in a little larger house, that needs a little less work, for the same price or less that we were going to offer. Maybe we will be able to afford a little more, since hopefully by that point I will have had surgery and be able to work, providing more income. I am trying, really I am, to keep a bright outlook. It's not easy, but I am trying.
So we started the look for another apartment. We sure as heck aren't staying here. We found a couple more places that are nicer. They cost more, but what are you going to do? I guess that's the tradeoff. The biggest disappointment for me, besides the not being allowed to choose wall colors and decorate and all, is that Brian had promised me we would get a dog once we moved- a Yorkie, because I want one so desperately. Unfortunately, the complex we will probably move to does not allow dogs. So once more, I am left to wait. Brian said at the latest, it will be my wedding gift.
Please try to understand, that while I am trying to look on the bright side, it's hard. Really hard. Besides the disappointment in a dog, there's so much more. I was looking forward to creating a home with Brian- somewhere we would start a family together. And now, instead of investing the money of mortgage payments back into our future, we are throwing it away in rent, and it's a lot of money that we are throwing away. That makes it very bitter to swallow. VERY bitter.
I know God has a plan, and I have to trust Him. I realize this is a test, and that He will NEVER give me more than I can handle. But just once, it would be nice to be given a break and "win" every so often.
We did not get the house. And we will not be purchasing a home for another year. Instead, we will be moving out of our current apartment, and moving into another apartment (one that is better all around- if you are moving to DE, I do not, in any way, recommend Cavalier Country Club Apartments, for a host of reasons!).
What happened? Simple enough, HUD and FHA changed the rules on July 15th. They did it with no notice, and because of the changes, Brian doesn't qualify for FHA anymore. Simply put, he's a 1099 tax form employee, and you have to have been a W2 tax form employee for at least a year.
It's heartwrenching. It's maddening. We had gone through with closing and the inspection, and the mortgage broker waited almost 2 weeks to tell us- something that really got under our skin. Needless to say, we won't be using him in the future. He cost us a ton of money that we wouldn't have had to put out if he had informed us as soon as he knew and understood the rule change. Our wonderful realtor, Lauren, contacted another broker on our behalf, and that one tried and tried to get us through. But when FHA says no, it's a no. The Kicker, with a capital K? The house we were going to end up in was the second house that we looked at in the whole process, back in May. If we had done it then, we would have sneaked in right before the rule change.
Am I mad? Absolutely. I wonder how the government (HUD) and FHA can expect the housing market to be on the upclimb if they keep pulling the funding needed? What's the use in offering the tax credit? I have heard in the rumor mill several things: one, that HUD and the government will most likely be offering another tax credit next year, and most likely in a larger amount. I have also heard through the grapevine that because FHA/HUD put these regulation and rule changes into effect, it will more than likely put us into another 2 or 3 housing slumps; if you thought this was bad, nope. It will get worse from here.
So maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this is God's way of saying, good things come to those who wait. Not that patience was ever one of my virtues. But who knows. Maybe we will end up in a little larger house, that needs a little less work, for the same price or less that we were going to offer. Maybe we will be able to afford a little more, since hopefully by that point I will have had surgery and be able to work, providing more income. I am trying, really I am, to keep a bright outlook. It's not easy, but I am trying.
So we started the look for another apartment. We sure as heck aren't staying here. We found a couple more places that are nicer. They cost more, but what are you going to do? I guess that's the tradeoff. The biggest disappointment for me, besides the not being allowed to choose wall colors and decorate and all, is that Brian had promised me we would get a dog once we moved- a Yorkie, because I want one so desperately. Unfortunately, the complex we will probably move to does not allow dogs. So once more, I am left to wait. Brian said at the latest, it will be my wedding gift.
Please try to understand, that while I am trying to look on the bright side, it's hard. Really hard. Besides the disappointment in a dog, there's so much more. I was looking forward to creating a home with Brian- somewhere we would start a family together. And now, instead of investing the money of mortgage payments back into our future, we are throwing it away in rent, and it's a lot of money that we are throwing away. That makes it very bitter to swallow. VERY bitter.
I know God has a plan, and I have to trust Him. I realize this is a test, and that He will NEVER give me more than I can handle. But just once, it would be nice to be given a break and "win" every so often.
Long time, no see!
I know, it's been a while.
No, I haven't forgotten. I just haven't been in the mood to blog; quite frankly, I haven't been in the mood to do much. So much has gone on in the few short weeks that we have been home from NOLA, good and bad. And all of the overwhelming moments have taken its toll on me, mentally, physically, and emotionally. It's probably safe to say that I am fighting off a bit of depression.
I will explain each thing in its own post- that way, you don't have to read, and read, and read some more. Since I promised you NOLA last time, NOLA is whatcha get!
For another read, head to http://bestofneworleans.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid:59426. I bawled when I read it, and like I said before, we were humbled at the welcoming from the citizens of NOLA, and we thank them for their kindness and welcoming smiles.
As I have posted before, Brian and I are both members at St. Philip's Lutheran Church in Wilmington, DE. We are also both youth advisors for the high school age youth group; we both feel very passionately about giving kids in that tumultuous time period in life a safe haven where they can be welcomed with open arms, loved, cared about, and can just be themselves without the many pressures that teenagers deal with nowadays. It's a wonderful place for them to grow in friendship and faith; I have seen teen lives transformed because of a solid youth program.
Every 3 years, the national church, The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, puts on the National Youth Gathering. It's a week of worship and experiences, friendship and faith. And it's HUGE. Normally, they hold 2 different weeks of the gathering, with 15,000 youth and advisors attending each week. This time, though, things were a little different. Because of the format of the Gathering, the city it's held in must be able to not only handle the amount of people, but have a convention center (where the Interaction Center is held) and a stadium (where worship and large group is held) in close proximity to each other. Because of this, only a few cities qualify- San Antonio, St. Louis, Atlanta...and New Orleans.
The gathering was held in New Orleans 10 years ago, but that was pre-Katrina. When the decision came down from the national church that we would be returning post-Katrina, it seemed natural. They still needed our help, our hands, our smiles and our hugs. We, as Christians, thrive on doing God's work in this world. There was no question- NOLA needed our help, and we were going to help.
This gathering had a different format then previous years. Instead of 2 weeks, everyone attended the same week- which translates to over 37 THOUSAND youth and advisors, plus staff and volunteers. Can you say great for NOLA's economy? It also meant that we were the largest gathering to be hosted in NOLA since Katrina. But none of that meant anything to us. No, the part that mattered was that for 3 days straight, every participant did 1 day of service to the NOLA community. We put 12,000 youth, advisors and volunteers (all in bright orange shirts!) out on the streets, in people's homes, among the dead, in God's natural world, and around the city to help rebuild. Everything from cleaning a cemetery where the buried had become unearthed and had to be cleaned of weeds and reburied, to pulling a foreign weed from the swamps so that the native wildlife could thrive, to rebuilding churches and homes and community centers, planting trees and flowers, to holding a health and book fair for the children of NOLA who had lost everything.
Most importantly, though, we listened. We listened to stories of residents who fled with their children and their pets, losing their wedding and birthday photos. We heard of people reaching out to assist other neighbors- neighbors that wouldn't have spoken otherwise. We heard of heartache and death, renewed hope and faith. And we were touched by how welcoming and grateful the city of NOLA, and all the residents in it, were to many random teenagers.
Every night, we all gathered in the Superdome, the site of so much tragedy, and worshipped. And while we worshipped, the tragedy, the sadness, the loss of life and hope, while not forgotten, never forgotten, were offered up to God with joyful praise in His name...all by teenagers, who so many today are told they cannot make a difference. All by teenagers, who wanted to help in any way possible, even to the point of picking pennies off the street to give in the change only offering. All by teenagers, who move me even now as I remember the impact their smiles and laughter and joy had on so many random people. All by teenagers, who joined together and said we can and we will do God's work in this world, even if our hands are inexperienced and uncalloused; we will praise Him as we work.
We took 7 youth and 4 adults down to NOLA. Our church is blessed with some of the greatest youth I have ever seen; kind and courteous, gentle and caring, joyful and earnest. I watched as each one was transformed that week; one when realizing that all the people he was worshipping with were his age, and he was not alone in this rocky journey of life. Another at a Wendy's, while getting a Frosty, and an older woman telling her tale of losing her fiance in the flood but moving back because this was her home- and her thanking the young strangers that cared and were making a difference. Another as we helped out a homeowner who had been through so much, and even as we joked about his "conspiracies" and his anxiety, were downtrodden that man can be so alone. And yet another as we viewed house after house with the spray painted "X" on the front.
Every night, after Large Group, we would come back to the hotel for "family time"- when the group you traveled with comes together to talk about what they have seen and learned, and to pray. I think that was my most favorite time- I was able to see the hearts of these awe-inspiring young people, laid open and trusting of their church family. I was uplifted by the thoughts and motivation so obvious behind some prayers, and not so obvious in others, but there nonetheless. And I was renewed- in my faith in a loving God who will not forsake His children, in my conviction that these youth will change the world, in my hope and love for fellow mankind. Because, when it comes down to it, we are a steadfast, faithful, hopeful being, and we, no matter what age, can make a difference- with a little elbow grease, some laughter, and an Awesome God who loves us more than we can imagine.
No, I haven't forgotten. I just haven't been in the mood to blog; quite frankly, I haven't been in the mood to do much. So much has gone on in the few short weeks that we have been home from NOLA, good and bad. And all of the overwhelming moments have taken its toll on me, mentally, physically, and emotionally. It's probably safe to say that I am fighting off a bit of depression.
I will explain each thing in its own post- that way, you don't have to read, and read, and read some more. Since I promised you NOLA last time, NOLA is whatcha get!
For another read, head to http://bestofneworleans.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid:59426. I bawled when I read it, and like I said before, we were humbled at the welcoming from the citizens of NOLA, and we thank them for their kindness and welcoming smiles.
As I have posted before, Brian and I are both members at St. Philip's Lutheran Church in Wilmington, DE. We are also both youth advisors for the high school age youth group; we both feel very passionately about giving kids in that tumultuous time period in life a safe haven where they can be welcomed with open arms, loved, cared about, and can just be themselves without the many pressures that teenagers deal with nowadays. It's a wonderful place for them to grow in friendship and faith; I have seen teen lives transformed because of a solid youth program.
Every 3 years, the national church, The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, puts on the National Youth Gathering. It's a week of worship and experiences, friendship and faith. And it's HUGE. Normally, they hold 2 different weeks of the gathering, with 15,000 youth and advisors attending each week. This time, though, things were a little different. Because of the format of the Gathering, the city it's held in must be able to not only handle the amount of people, but have a convention center (where the Interaction Center is held) and a stadium (where worship and large group is held) in close proximity to each other. Because of this, only a few cities qualify- San Antonio, St. Louis, Atlanta...and New Orleans.
The gathering was held in New Orleans 10 years ago, but that was pre-Katrina. When the decision came down from the national church that we would be returning post-Katrina, it seemed natural. They still needed our help, our hands, our smiles and our hugs. We, as Christians, thrive on doing God's work in this world. There was no question- NOLA needed our help, and we were going to help.
This gathering had a different format then previous years. Instead of 2 weeks, everyone attended the same week- which translates to over 37 THOUSAND youth and advisors, plus staff and volunteers. Can you say great for NOLA's economy? It also meant that we were the largest gathering to be hosted in NOLA since Katrina. But none of that meant anything to us. No, the part that mattered was that for 3 days straight, every participant did 1 day of service to the NOLA community. We put 12,000 youth, advisors and volunteers (all in bright orange shirts!) out on the streets, in people's homes, among the dead, in God's natural world, and around the city to help rebuild. Everything from cleaning a cemetery where the buried had become unearthed and had to be cleaned of weeds and reburied, to pulling a foreign weed from the swamps so that the native wildlife could thrive, to rebuilding churches and homes and community centers, planting trees and flowers, to holding a health and book fair for the children of NOLA who had lost everything.
Most importantly, though, we listened. We listened to stories of residents who fled with their children and their pets, losing their wedding and birthday photos. We heard of people reaching out to assist other neighbors- neighbors that wouldn't have spoken otherwise. We heard of heartache and death, renewed hope and faith. And we were touched by how welcoming and grateful the city of NOLA, and all the residents in it, were to many random teenagers.
Every night, we all gathered in the Superdome, the site of so much tragedy, and worshipped. And while we worshipped, the tragedy, the sadness, the loss of life and hope, while not forgotten, never forgotten, were offered up to God with joyful praise in His name...all by teenagers, who so many today are told they cannot make a difference. All by teenagers, who wanted to help in any way possible, even to the point of picking pennies off the street to give in the change only offering. All by teenagers, who move me even now as I remember the impact their smiles and laughter and joy had on so many random people. All by teenagers, who joined together and said we can and we will do God's work in this world, even if our hands are inexperienced and uncalloused; we will praise Him as we work.
We took 7 youth and 4 adults down to NOLA. Our church is blessed with some of the greatest youth I have ever seen; kind and courteous, gentle and caring, joyful and earnest. I watched as each one was transformed that week; one when realizing that all the people he was worshipping with were his age, and he was not alone in this rocky journey of life. Another at a Wendy's, while getting a Frosty, and an older woman telling her tale of losing her fiance in the flood but moving back because this was her home- and her thanking the young strangers that cared and were making a difference. Another as we helped out a homeowner who had been through so much, and even as we joked about his "conspiracies" and his anxiety, were downtrodden that man can be so alone. And yet another as we viewed house after house with the spray painted "X" on the front.
Every night, after Large Group, we would come back to the hotel for "family time"- when the group you traveled with comes together to talk about what they have seen and learned, and to pray. I think that was my most favorite time- I was able to see the hearts of these awe-inspiring young people, laid open and trusting of their church family. I was uplifted by the thoughts and motivation so obvious behind some prayers, and not so obvious in others, but there nonetheless. And I was renewed- in my faith in a loving God who will not forsake His children, in my conviction that these youth will change the world, in my hope and love for fellow mankind. Because, when it comes down to it, we are a steadfast, faithful, hopeful being, and we, no matter what age, can make a difference- with a little elbow grease, some laughter, and an Awesome God who loves us more than we can imagine.
Monday, July 27, 2009
So Many Blessings!
SOOO much has happened since the last time I posted! I have been away, in NOLA with our church's youth (more about that in the next post), so I haven't had time to post until now, but boy, do I have exciting news for everyone!
WE FOUND OUR HOUSE! It's a 3 br/1 ba in Elsmere (the safe part), an end unit townhome. It needs some work, but out of all the ones we have seen, this one is by far the best in move in ready condition. The 3rd bedroom is basically a large closet, but it would work for a nursery for our first child :) It has a nice size yard, a basement, kitchen, dining room, and living room. It has a covered back deck on the back.
More than likely, with our tax credit money, we will redo the kitchen and bathroom. The kitchen is just too small for me to cook in (I can't wait!), so we will probably get rid of the wall dividing the kitchen and dining room, and instead do a country eat-in kitchen. This way, it will open it up, and it will provide for more counter and cabinet space. The bathroom right now is completely purple. Tub, toilet, sink, and tile- all shades of lavender. Brian and I aren't too fond of the colors, so we decided we will probably take some space from the bedroom next to it. That way, we can add some space to the bathroom and closet space to the bedroom- it will make it a tad smaller, but it's an okay size now, so it should be fine. Add a pocket door for the bathroom, and boom- all better!
We will repaint (obviously!), and we will be ripping up the carpet and refinishing the walnut hardwood floors that are throughout the house (sqee! I can't wait for hardwood floors!), and we will be installing new appliances throughout, since the ones there are original and look antique!
Brian and I are blessed in the fact that Brian has many, many hands on skills that will save us much money in the long run- his carpentry skills, along with all his other construction knowledge, will come in very handy! This way, we can start building equity in the house, but we don't have to put out much moola to do it- just a little (okay, a LOT) of elbow grease. We don't plan on staying here forever, but as a starter home, it's a great little house. It honestly made since to do this- our monthly payments will be around the same, if not less, as rent for the apartment. This way, we aren't throwing it down the drain.
We had the house inspection today- there are some things that need to be fixed, the big ones being the brick facade and the roof. Brian has the ability to do everything except the roof, and quite frankly, it's so much money that we just can't afford that expense right now. When we closed on the house, we told the current owners (it's an estate sale) that we would not nickel and dime them for every little wrong. The roof, though, is too major of an issue, and considering that there is a little bit of water damage inside/upstairs in the bedrooms (nothing active, and nothing that is concerning right now), it needs to be taken care of, and fast.
I have not heard about surgery...yet. We were told by the end of July, which being there's only a few more days left, hopefully we will hear something positive soon!
WE FOUND OUR HOUSE! It's a 3 br/1 ba in Elsmere (the safe part), an end unit townhome. It needs some work, but out of all the ones we have seen, this one is by far the best in move in ready condition. The 3rd bedroom is basically a large closet, but it would work for a nursery for our first child :) It has a nice size yard, a basement, kitchen, dining room, and living room. It has a covered back deck on the back.
More than likely, with our tax credit money, we will redo the kitchen and bathroom. The kitchen is just too small for me to cook in (I can't wait!), so we will probably get rid of the wall dividing the kitchen and dining room, and instead do a country eat-in kitchen. This way, it will open it up, and it will provide for more counter and cabinet space. The bathroom right now is completely purple. Tub, toilet, sink, and tile- all shades of lavender. Brian and I aren't too fond of the colors, so we decided we will probably take some space from the bedroom next to it. That way, we can add some space to the bathroom and closet space to the bedroom- it will make it a tad smaller, but it's an okay size now, so it should be fine. Add a pocket door for the bathroom, and boom- all better!
We will repaint (obviously!), and we will be ripping up the carpet and refinishing the walnut hardwood floors that are throughout the house (sqee! I can't wait for hardwood floors!), and we will be installing new appliances throughout, since the ones there are original and look antique!
Brian and I are blessed in the fact that Brian has many, many hands on skills that will save us much money in the long run- his carpentry skills, along with all his other construction knowledge, will come in very handy! This way, we can start building equity in the house, but we don't have to put out much moola to do it- just a little (okay, a LOT) of elbow grease. We don't plan on staying here forever, but as a starter home, it's a great little house. It honestly made since to do this- our monthly payments will be around the same, if not less, as rent for the apartment. This way, we aren't throwing it down the drain.
We had the house inspection today- there are some things that need to be fixed, the big ones being the brick facade and the roof. Brian has the ability to do everything except the roof, and quite frankly, it's so much money that we just can't afford that expense right now. When we closed on the house, we told the current owners (it's an estate sale) that we would not nickel and dime them for every little wrong. The roof, though, is too major of an issue, and considering that there is a little bit of water damage inside/upstairs in the bedrooms (nothing active, and nothing that is concerning right now), it needs to be taken care of, and fast.
I have not heard about surgery...yet. We were told by the end of July, which being there's only a few more days left, hopefully we will hear something positive soon!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
another :(
We lost the other house, 2 Winston Place. I am trying not to get down on myself, and trying to stay optimistic about it all. The realization that we are so young and already trying to buy our first home, when most of my friends or acquaintances our age are either renting or living at home. Not saying those are bad, but when the national age for first time home buyers is 32, we are doing pretty well.
I just have to keep my head in the game, and realize this is the housing market- and not invest my heart so much in each house that fits our needs. I know the right one will come along, and when it does, it will be the one that Brian and I make into a home together. It will be the one where we have our own Christmas Tree and BBQs, where we have family over and start a family. And when I think about those special moments that are to come, waiting a little longer doesn't seem so bad.
I just have to keep my head in the game, and realize this is the housing market- and not invest my heart so much in each house that fits our needs. I know the right one will come along, and when it does, it will be the one that Brian and I make into a home together. It will be the one where we have our own Christmas Tree and BBQs, where we have family over and start a family. And when I think about those special moments that are to come, waiting a little longer doesn't seem so bad.
Friday, July 10, 2009
All things paper...
Okay, maybe not all things. But some of the small stuff, to start off.
VistaPrint has a bunch of things for free in the month of July. All you have to pay is Shipping (just make sure to uncheck any little boxes at the end when you are going through those surveys, or you will end up getting billed monthly!). So I figured, with 100 postcards for free, and 250 business cards for free, why not take advantage of it? They also have magnets, 25 for free, and I may take up on that as well. I have been known to create different accounts... ;)
For favors, Brian and I originally decided to do a donation. I know, I will probably get flamed for it- The Knot girls (not my DE ones, but everyone else it seems) are against donations as a "favor" for some reason. They feel that it is not a favor to donate to a charity of your choice- either give them a gift, or give them nothing. Well, I don't feel that way. And from the beginning, Brian and I had chosen a charity that not only means alot, but is also in memoriam of loved ones.
Both of our grandfathers served in World War II- my grandpa in the Navy Seabees, and Brian's in the Army. Brian never knew his grandfather, as he died before Brian was born. I was extremely lucky and blessed to have my grandpa in my life until I was 22 years old. While Grandpa wouldn't talk much about the war and serving, I know that he was very proud of the fact that he served our country, and even more so of the fact that he played trumpet in the Navy Band! I remember him telling me when I was young that he wanted either a live bugler to play TAPS at his funeral, or he wanted nothing- a CD recording would not suffice.
When he passed in February 2008, he did indeed go without a bugler to play TAPS at his funeral. After talking with Brian and his dad, Mark, I found out that Brian's grandfather did not have TAPS played at his funeral, either. While having dinner with Brian's family one day, the topic of a certain organization came up, and an idea began to blossom in my mind.
Bugles Across America is a wonderful organization that, purely through volunteers and donations, provides a live bugler to play TAPS at any veteran's funeral. Their website states:
Bugles Across America, NFP was founded in 2000 by Tom Day, when Congress passed legislation stating Veterans had a right to at least 2 uniformed military people to fold the flag and play taps on a CD player. Bugles Across America was begun to take this a step further, and in recognition of the service these Veterans provided their country, we felt that every Veteran deserved a live rendition of taps played by a live Bugler. To this end, we are actively seeking volunteers to provide this valuable service to Veterans and their families.
Now, we are also doing a candy buffet, but that is a totally different story, and a product of my parents. It was added on after the decision to donate was made. But we still wanted a way to convey to our family and friends about the donation. I came up with the idea to write down why, not just that we are donating, but the story behind it as well. In addition, as a token for our loved ones to remember our donation, I found American Flag lapel pins online, at Oriental Trading, for 20 cents each (including shipping). The plan originally was to do a scroll of paper, tie it with ribbon in our wedding colors, and pin the flag to the ribbon. But now that VistaPrint is offering the postcards for free, I am thinking that is a better idea- the cost of shipping will be far less than the cost of materials for the previous idea.
Also, with the 250 business cards that are offered for free, we can get our "photosharing cards". For those who don't know, this is a currently popular idea where a card is left at each guests' seat. On the card is a saying such as "Did you take pictures? Share them with us!". Following that sentiment are instructions on how to upload guests' wedding photos to an online sharing site, such as Snapfish or Shutterfly, to a specific account (usually the username and password for the account are on the cards, and it's usually a specially created account for the wedding). This is a great way for the bride and groom to get a glance at the whirlwind day before the professional photographs come back. I was not originally planning on doing these, but now that I can get them for free, and hopefully tack them onto the postcard shipping, it will be worth it, so why not?
Finally, with my mom's and sister's and Brian's account, I will also get postcards for our Save The Dates. We are not sending out many, just to our guests who are waaaay out of town (like all of Brian's family, in Ohio and Michigan and Colorado and Arizona and well, you get the picture). I was originally planning on making the few we needed by hand, but with the free offers of postcards and magnets, I figure, why do the work when they will do a professional job, for free??
I swear, any way that I can save money, you better believe I will do it (except illegal things, duh!)!!!
VistaPrint has a bunch of things for free in the month of July. All you have to pay is Shipping (just make sure to uncheck any little boxes at the end when you are going through those surveys, or you will end up getting billed monthly!). So I figured, with 100 postcards for free, and 250 business cards for free, why not take advantage of it? They also have magnets, 25 for free, and I may take up on that as well. I have been known to create different accounts... ;)
For favors, Brian and I originally decided to do a donation. I know, I will probably get flamed for it- The Knot girls (not my DE ones, but everyone else it seems) are against donations as a "favor" for some reason. They feel that it is not a favor to donate to a charity of your choice- either give them a gift, or give them nothing. Well, I don't feel that way. And from the beginning, Brian and I had chosen a charity that not only means alot, but is also in memoriam of loved ones.
Both of our grandfathers served in World War II- my grandpa in the Navy Seabees, and Brian's in the Army. Brian never knew his grandfather, as he died before Brian was born. I was extremely lucky and blessed to have my grandpa in my life until I was 22 years old. While Grandpa wouldn't talk much about the war and serving, I know that he was very proud of the fact that he served our country, and even more so of the fact that he played trumpet in the Navy Band! I remember him telling me when I was young that he wanted either a live bugler to play TAPS at his funeral, or he wanted nothing- a CD recording would not suffice.
When he passed in February 2008, he did indeed go without a bugler to play TAPS at his funeral. After talking with Brian and his dad, Mark, I found out that Brian's grandfather did not have TAPS played at his funeral, either. While having dinner with Brian's family one day, the topic of a certain organization came up, and an idea began to blossom in my mind.
Bugles Across America is a wonderful organization that, purely through volunteers and donations, provides a live bugler to play TAPS at any veteran's funeral. Their website states:
Bugles Across America, NFP was founded in 2000 by Tom Day, when Congress passed legislation stating Veterans had a right to at least 2 uniformed military people to fold the flag and play taps on a CD player. Bugles Across America was begun to take this a step further, and in recognition of the service these Veterans provided their country, we felt that every Veteran deserved a live rendition of taps played by a live Bugler. To this end, we are actively seeking volunteers to provide this valuable service to Veterans and their families.
Bugles Across America now has over 5000 bugler volunteers located in all 50 states and growing number overseas. Since the Department of Veterans Affairs is expecting more than 1/2 million veterans to pass every year for the next 7 years, Bugles Across America is ALWAYS recruiting new volunteers.
Bugler Volunteers can be male or female. They can play a traditional bugle with no valves, or they can perform the ceremony on a Trumpet, Cornet, Flugelhorn, or a 1, 2 or 3 valved bugle. The bugler can be of any age as long as they can play the 24 notes of Taps with an ease and style that will do honor to both the Veterans, their families, and the burial detail performing the service.
I found out about this wonderful organization because Mark, a trumpet and bugle player, volunteers for the organization. Brian and I had agreed that we wanted to do a donation, but we wanted it to be a meaningful organization, one that would touch a part of our lives. When I approached Brian about donating to Bugles Across America, in memory of our grandfathers, he thought it was a wonderful idea that would honor our grandpas, our veterans, and provide a lasting tribute to those who have served our country.Now, we are also doing a candy buffet, but that is a totally different story, and a product of my parents. It was added on after the decision to donate was made. But we still wanted a way to convey to our family and friends about the donation. I came up with the idea to write down why, not just that we are donating, but the story behind it as well. In addition, as a token for our loved ones to remember our donation, I found American Flag lapel pins online, at Oriental Trading, for 20 cents each (including shipping). The plan originally was to do a scroll of paper, tie it with ribbon in our wedding colors, and pin the flag to the ribbon. But now that VistaPrint is offering the postcards for free, I am thinking that is a better idea- the cost of shipping will be far less than the cost of materials for the previous idea.
Also, with the 250 business cards that are offered for free, we can get our "photosharing cards". For those who don't know, this is a currently popular idea where a card is left at each guests' seat. On the card is a saying such as "Did you take pictures? Share them with us!". Following that sentiment are instructions on how to upload guests' wedding photos to an online sharing site, such as Snapfish or Shutterfly, to a specific account (usually the username and password for the account are on the cards, and it's usually a specially created account for the wedding). This is a great way for the bride and groom to get a glance at the whirlwind day before the professional photographs come back. I was not originally planning on doing these, but now that I can get them for free, and hopefully tack them onto the postcard shipping, it will be worth it, so why not?
Finally, with my mom's and sister's and Brian's account, I will also get postcards for our Save The Dates. We are not sending out many, just to our guests who are waaaay out of town (like all of Brian's family, in Ohio and Michigan and Colorado and Arizona and well, you get the picture). I was originally planning on making the few we needed by hand, but with the free offers of postcards and magnets, I figure, why do the work when they will do a professional job, for free??
I swear, any way that I can save money, you better believe I will do it (except illegal things, duh!)!!!
:(
We didn't get the 2nd house. The bank is holding really tight to an inflated appraisal, which of course bodes not so well for us.
Praying really hard, knowing that God has the right house for us at the right moment. Trusting in Him is always the best thing, always!
Praying really hard, knowing that God has the right house for us at the right moment. Trusting in Him is always the best thing, always!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
The Dress (capital T, capital D)
Of course, just like almost every other bride out there, as soon as I had the ring on my finger (which just got cleaned, by the way- so sparkly and shiny now :D), I wanted to go dress shopping. I didn't care where it was, as long as it had white dresses, I was game for it. About a month later, at the end of January, my mother gave in, and her and I hit the local bridal salons.
I had known for a while what I wanted my dress to look like. A family friend had gotten married back in 2005, and her dress had a navy blue train. As soon as I saw her pictures, I knew right away that I wanted my dress to have a colored train. Not sure what color, but a colored train. So when I had the reason to start looking at dress pictures online, I quickly came across a picture of an Alfred Angelo dress, with a colored train. I did a little more research, and found that AA is known for their bridal gowns with color accents, available in 55 colors, and bridesmaid dresses all have the ability to coordinate. Best part was, they were affordable- after all, we had only budgeted $1,000 (in the initial budget) for my dress. So when we went trooping off, I had in my mind that I wanted white with color accents, preferably strapless, A line or ball gown, no lace. I wasn't picky, and told myself I would try on whatever was pulled for me.
We started at Brides and Grooms in Newark, DE. My mom had heard about this little, tiny, hole-in-the-wall bridal salon from a co-worker, so we decided to start there. First thing- never go gown shopping on a Saturday. Ever. It's always so packed, no matter where you go. And don't let looks deceive you. This shop is so stuffed full of gowns and dresses, and only has 3 (tiny) dressing rooms. But they are awesome. Totally worth the wait on a Saturday. After we finally managed to get a dressing room and an attendant, Faith, we went to work. I told her what I wanted, and she pulled dress after dress. I tried on so many, each one prettier than the last. They didn't have the one AA dress I had in mind in stock, but I was told that I could order any style number through them. We didn't buy anything there that morning, but left with ideas and the high probability of returning.
We ate lunch, then headed to Jennifer's in Hockessin. First off, big clue there. Hockessin=money. Lots of money. We walked into the store, and immediately noticed several differences. One, they only had one customer in the store, compared to the 10-15 customers that had proceeded us at B&G. Second, there were only 2 employees, versus the 4 or 5 at B&G. The other thing that struck us as odd? At B&G, the employees were dressed professionally, but comfortable. Dress slacks, comfortable black sneakers. At Jennifer's, the employees were wearing high heels and skirts/dresses. Why does this matter? Because when someone is helping me in and out of a heavy bridal gown, and is doing that hundreds of times a day, I would prefer that they be in practical clothing. Immediately, I was on alert. Well, I found out why soon enough. They didn't have a dress in there under $4,000- we looked at every price tag. And they didn't have any that fit my style- no long trains, extremely simple styles. We pretty much immediately crossed it off the list for dress shopping. To be fair, they had GORGEOUS veils. They were a little pricey, but they were breathtaking. We are still keeping it in mind for a veil, but in terms of dresses, it was way too hoity toity for my liking.
We left there, and headed to the typical bridal store that everyone thinks of when they think bride- David's Bridal. I was against it from the beginning, but my mom convinced me that we needed to go to get an idea of what we wanted and didn't want. When we walked in, it was packed. Tons of brides, everywhere. Tons of dresses, everywhere. When you enter the store, they have a desk where they "register" you. AKA, they get your info so they can blitz your mail box (both real and electronic) with tons of crap. Luckily, they were busy with another bride, so we wandered over to the Plus Size section, and started looking. I was appalled at what I saw- ugly dresses, few to choose from, in horrible condition. Some even had stains on them! A consultant came over and tried to "help" us, but God bless my mother, who knows how to scare them away. I was disgusted with what I saw, in terms of both dresses and consultations. It was like an assembly line, and I felt like a cookie cutter bride. What little service we did try to get when looking for help with the flower girl dresses was abominable. The only thing we found to our liking was a cute flower girl dress, but for the same price, I can get the one that I really want from AA!
We went home that day, empty handed but for a few bridal CDs we had found at David's Bridal. My mom and I decided to find out when my sister was free, and two weeks later, we took a drive up to Lancaster, PA. Alfred Angelo has a flagship store there, and has many more of their styles in stock then B&G did. We showed up, and it wasn't horribly busy for a Saturday. We started on bridesmaid dresses first, which Meghan modeled for us. I had originally wanted the same dress for all the girls, in a tea length. After seeing some on Meghan, I decided to go with a floor length skirt- it's more classy for a formal church wedding, floor length is appropriate for an October wedding, and this way, they can all wear a silver shoe, but it doesn't have to match. I had decided to do separates, which would allow for some leeway with the bridesmaids' choice, but now, I have decided that it doesn't have to be a separate- as long as it is in my color, floor length, satin, and Alfred Angelo, I will be happy.
We then moved onto my dress. The lady who was helping us had pulled a whole bunch of dresses, based on my criteria. She showed me what she had pulled, and I told her to put the second one back- it was everything I didn't want, and I had seen the picture online and thought it was hideous. She insisted on placing it in the dressing room anyway "just in case". Begrudgingly, I agreed, and my mom and I got me into the first dress, my first choice- which looked horrible on me. It did nothing for me at all. We went to change dresses, and my mother said to put the not-an-option dress on, just so we could get it out of the dressing room, because it was taking up so much room. I agreed, got into it, walked out- and fell in love. It was perfect. It brought the attention to the right places, it worked with my body, it was amazing. And it had everything I didn't want, too! Sleeves, which made my arms look smaller, and accentuated my bust line. Re-embroidered lace, which looked wonderful and sparkled with the crystals and beading. It had a colored sash, that made my waist look smaller, and a sweetheart neckline that made my bust look gorgeous. Okay, it was an A-line, and it had a semi-cathedral train, two things I wanted. I put that dress on, and proceeded to sit in it for the next hour while Meg tried on more dresses. I was in love.
Brian and I had decided earlier that if I was going to get a color in my gown, it would be a royal/brilliant blue. We discussed it together, because we wanted to be on the same page for the rest of the planning, in terms of colors. So we decided on Cobalt Blue for the dress, with the bridesmaids in Cobalt Blue with White accents. Our colors for the entire wedding are also Cobalt Blue and White, with accents of silver. We may do a lighter blue in there as well, but we haven't fully decided yet.
We told the saleswoman what color we wanted, and sized me. She then told us that the dress was on sale during the promotion they were running. It was originally $800 (in my budget!), but was on sale for $650 (even better in my budget!). At this point, my mom went outside and made a phone call to B&G, to find out pricing through them (remember, they are in DE, and AA was in PA- that means tax!). When they said $520, she said sold, and we ordered my dress through them the next week. It took 6 months to come in, and it is so breathtakingly pretty. I can't wait to get my surgery, lose weight, and look beautiful for Brian the day we are wed!
(I am not posting pics here...sorry, but Brian has access to this site, and others, so the pics are staying in my hot little hands! He doesn't want to see the dress, or be tempted to see it, before the big day!)
I had known for a while what I wanted my dress to look like. A family friend had gotten married back in 2005, and her dress had a navy blue train. As soon as I saw her pictures, I knew right away that I wanted my dress to have a colored train. Not sure what color, but a colored train. So when I had the reason to start looking at dress pictures online, I quickly came across a picture of an Alfred Angelo dress, with a colored train. I did a little more research, and found that AA is known for their bridal gowns with color accents, available in 55 colors, and bridesmaid dresses all have the ability to coordinate. Best part was, they were affordable- after all, we had only budgeted $1,000 (in the initial budget) for my dress. So when we went trooping off, I had in my mind that I wanted white with color accents, preferably strapless, A line or ball gown, no lace. I wasn't picky, and told myself I would try on whatever was pulled for me.
We started at Brides and Grooms in Newark, DE. My mom had heard about this little, tiny, hole-in-the-wall bridal salon from a co-worker, so we decided to start there. First thing- never go gown shopping on a Saturday. Ever. It's always so packed, no matter where you go. And don't let looks deceive you. This shop is so stuffed full of gowns and dresses, and only has 3 (tiny) dressing rooms. But they are awesome. Totally worth the wait on a Saturday. After we finally managed to get a dressing room and an attendant, Faith, we went to work. I told her what I wanted, and she pulled dress after dress. I tried on so many, each one prettier than the last. They didn't have the one AA dress I had in mind in stock, but I was told that I could order any style number through them. We didn't buy anything there that morning, but left with ideas and the high probability of returning.
We ate lunch, then headed to Jennifer's in Hockessin. First off, big clue there. Hockessin=money. Lots of money. We walked into the store, and immediately noticed several differences. One, they only had one customer in the store, compared to the 10-15 customers that had proceeded us at B&G. Second, there were only 2 employees, versus the 4 or 5 at B&G. The other thing that struck us as odd? At B&G, the employees were dressed professionally, but comfortable. Dress slacks, comfortable black sneakers. At Jennifer's, the employees were wearing high heels and skirts/dresses. Why does this matter? Because when someone is helping me in and out of a heavy bridal gown, and is doing that hundreds of times a day, I would prefer that they be in practical clothing. Immediately, I was on alert. Well, I found out why soon enough. They didn't have a dress in there under $4,000- we looked at every price tag. And they didn't have any that fit my style- no long trains, extremely simple styles. We pretty much immediately crossed it off the list for dress shopping. To be fair, they had GORGEOUS veils. They were a little pricey, but they were breathtaking. We are still keeping it in mind for a veil, but in terms of dresses, it was way too hoity toity for my liking.
We left there, and headed to the typical bridal store that everyone thinks of when they think bride- David's Bridal. I was against it from the beginning, but my mom convinced me that we needed to go to get an idea of what we wanted and didn't want. When we walked in, it was packed. Tons of brides, everywhere. Tons of dresses, everywhere. When you enter the store, they have a desk where they "register" you. AKA, they get your info so they can blitz your mail box (both real and electronic) with tons of crap. Luckily, they were busy with another bride, so we wandered over to the Plus Size section, and started looking. I was appalled at what I saw- ugly dresses, few to choose from, in horrible condition. Some even had stains on them! A consultant came over and tried to "help" us, but God bless my mother, who knows how to scare them away. I was disgusted with what I saw, in terms of both dresses and consultations. It was like an assembly line, and I felt like a cookie cutter bride. What little service we did try to get when looking for help with the flower girl dresses was abominable. The only thing we found to our liking was a cute flower girl dress, but for the same price, I can get the one that I really want from AA!
We went home that day, empty handed but for a few bridal CDs we had found at David's Bridal. My mom and I decided to find out when my sister was free, and two weeks later, we took a drive up to Lancaster, PA. Alfred Angelo has a flagship store there, and has many more of their styles in stock then B&G did. We showed up, and it wasn't horribly busy for a Saturday. We started on bridesmaid dresses first, which Meghan modeled for us. I had originally wanted the same dress for all the girls, in a tea length. After seeing some on Meghan, I decided to go with a floor length skirt- it's more classy for a formal church wedding, floor length is appropriate for an October wedding, and this way, they can all wear a silver shoe, but it doesn't have to match. I had decided to do separates, which would allow for some leeway with the bridesmaids' choice, but now, I have decided that it doesn't have to be a separate- as long as it is in my color, floor length, satin, and Alfred Angelo, I will be happy.
We then moved onto my dress. The lady who was helping us had pulled a whole bunch of dresses, based on my criteria. She showed me what she had pulled, and I told her to put the second one back- it was everything I didn't want, and I had seen the picture online and thought it was hideous. She insisted on placing it in the dressing room anyway "just in case". Begrudgingly, I agreed, and my mom and I got me into the first dress, my first choice- which looked horrible on me. It did nothing for me at all. We went to change dresses, and my mother said to put the not-an-option dress on, just so we could get it out of the dressing room, because it was taking up so much room. I agreed, got into it, walked out- and fell in love. It was perfect. It brought the attention to the right places, it worked with my body, it was amazing. And it had everything I didn't want, too! Sleeves, which made my arms look smaller, and accentuated my bust line. Re-embroidered lace, which looked wonderful and sparkled with the crystals and beading. It had a colored sash, that made my waist look smaller, and a sweetheart neckline that made my bust look gorgeous. Okay, it was an A-line, and it had a semi-cathedral train, two things I wanted. I put that dress on, and proceeded to sit in it for the next hour while Meg tried on more dresses. I was in love.
Brian and I had decided earlier that if I was going to get a color in my gown, it would be a royal/brilliant blue. We discussed it together, because we wanted to be on the same page for the rest of the planning, in terms of colors. So we decided on Cobalt Blue for the dress, with the bridesmaids in Cobalt Blue with White accents. Our colors for the entire wedding are also Cobalt Blue and White, with accents of silver. We may do a lighter blue in there as well, but we haven't fully decided yet.
We told the saleswoman what color we wanted, and sized me. She then told us that the dress was on sale during the promotion they were running. It was originally $800 (in my budget!), but was on sale for $650 (even better in my budget!). At this point, my mom went outside and made a phone call to B&G, to find out pricing through them (remember, they are in DE, and AA was in PA- that means tax!). When they said $520, she said sold, and we ordered my dress through them the next week. It took 6 months to come in, and it is so breathtakingly pretty. I can't wait to get my surgery, lose weight, and look beautiful for Brian the day we are wed!
(I am not posting pics here...sorry, but Brian has access to this site, and others, so the pics are staying in my hot little hands! He doesn't want to see the dress, or be tempted to see it, before the big day!)
Must Have
I want this for Brian. It's a must have, and considering his rancious laughter when I showed him, totally appropriate. Visit etsy seller SomethingBlueDesigns for this and more awesome tees.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Among other things...
If you don't know by now, Brian and I are in the process of trying to buy a house. Right now, we are renting an apartment, and after some distinctly unpleasant happenings, we looked at each other and said the same thing- this is ridiculous. With what we are paying for rent, we could be in a small house of our own, building equity and making a home. One of the biggest peeves that Brian has struggled with this entire time in the apartment is since he is not the owner, he cannot fix or update anything here. With him being very hands on, and very handy to boot, not being able to paint and spruce up, fix and make more efficient has driven him nuts. If we are in a house of our own, not only can we put the money into making that home better, it will help build equity along the way as well. Right now, we are throwing it all away. So, about 2 months ago, we started looking at houses.
First off, let me explain something. If you haven't read below, please do, and take note of my medical situation. For us, the decision was made for me to live with Brian instead of my mom because of my medical situation. It's certainly not ideal, but Brian is better equipped to take off work if needed for a medical procedure, or if something goes wrong and I am bed bound. My mom is a home infusion nurse, and while she is obviously devoted to her family, that devotion includes working a job that takes many hours, with not much leeway. Me living with Brian, who is better able to care for me all around, works best in this pitifully crappy situation. Like I said, not ideal, and not what I wanted to be doing ("living in sin", as some would say), but right now, my health has to take precedent.
So we begin the search for the house that we would make a home. First off, let me say that our realtor is AWESOME. Yes, all caps AWESOME. Lauren Hill, of Remax of Wilmington. I cannot recommend her enough. When Brian and I had that initial conversation, it was put upon my shoulders to contact Patrick, our pastor, and see what, if anything, he could recommend. He told us that Lauren, who is a member at our church, is a realtor and that she helped him get into 2 houses, sell the first one, and helped his mom sell her house and move as well. Since we know her through the church, I felt comfortable pairing up with her. And it has not been a mistake. She really has steered us in the right direction, flat out telling us where she wouldn't take us or sell us because the neighborhood or surrounding area was bad. She has given us her honest opinion, telling us we didn't want this house or that one because the construction was known to be shoddy, even if the area was okay. She even went so far as to take us to a not so good section of town to show us what we were "missing" (we didn't even get out of the car, it was that scary!). When we have found something we like, she insists that Mark (Brian's dad) and either my mom or dad come and approve the house- make sure there are no unforeseen issues that might get us in trouble down the road. Lauren Hill, of Remax of Wilmington. Remember that name, because I will always recommend her to anyone that asks. She's amazing, simply wonderful.
Okay, enough about the realtor (we love you, Lauren!). Unfortunately, being young 20-somethings, we don't have much saved or make enough for a huge house. We were pre approved for low amount, but we are determined to make it work. Mark taught Brian and his brother, Alan, carpentry and wood working as a skill very early on, and they all are huge into it as a hobby. My dad has many skills as well. Right now, that's our saving grace, sweat equity. We may not have much money, but when you can install appliances, finish hardwood floors, section off and finish the basement, and add other amenities that may not cost much to buy but cost a chunk to install and fix, you have an upper hand in all this. Even though the houses that we are looking at may not be in the best condition, a little elbow grease, some paint, and sweat go a looooong way.
We started the search, and I think right now, we have seen 50+ houses. Some are in total disrepair, some are in not that great sections of town, some are just a little too small. So we trudge on. The other downside? Because the amount of money we are approved for is low, most of the houses we have looked at have been either short sales (where the sellers owe more to the bank than they will ever get at market for the house, which means the bank has to approve the sale) or are foreclosures (where the bank owns the property). This makes the process extra strenuous because we can't just go in and sign the agreement, inspect, settle, and move in. No, we have to take that extra step through the bank, which is what holds up most sales and takes forever- because of the housing market and the economy, and since most of these sellers bought when the market was grossly inflated, there are stacks and stacks and stacks of these agreements waiting for approval. I am not kidding- clerks are hired just to clear this paperwork. This process can add up to 3 MONTHS to the entire ordeal. Whoa.
Finally, the topper to the whole thing is that since we are first time home buyers, we are going for that $8,000 tax credit- the biggest reason we are looking now, instead of waiting a little bit. Which adds a bit of a time crunch to the whole thing- the paperwork for that has to be submitted by December 1st, and to do that, Lauren wants us in a house by Halloween. Count backwards 3 months, and yes, that puts you right about...NOW. Just a smidgen pressed for time. On top of all of that, we are doing FHA as first time home buyers. Not a bad thing, as it often offers lower interest rates and required settlement help, but it does mean special home inspections and weird criteria to meet- no dirt on the walls, things like that. Odd, but we take it as it comes, and hope for the best.
Right now, we have found 2 that we really like. First one is a 2 br/1 ba in good condition. It's got a family room and a living room, plus the dining room and a huge laundry room. No basement, no garage, but a good sized lot. It's in a great area, and the interior is in good condition. We put the bid in oh, 6 weeks ago, but it's a short sale, and with 3 other offers on the house, could take a while- and with that many bids, we may not have that good of a chance of getting it. Plus, Mark raised some concerns of termites- there is already damage on the back of the house, and since it's a slab house, he is worried about the condition underneath. The good part is there is room for improvement/additions, if we wanted to, and in more ways than one. There are some other FHA requirements that have them worried as well, so we decided to go out looking for more houses, hoping to find another one.
The second one is also a short sale. It's a 2 br/1 ba as well, but it's got an already finished attic, a double sided basement, a sun room, and a deck. It's also got a shed out back. The kitchen is sooo much bigger! Because of where the bathroom is located, we could easily add another bathroom upstairs in the finished attic, and have a master suite. The possibility exists that we could finish off half the basement, since it's a dry basement. If we do that, we can also add a bathroom downstairs as well. It needs some work- it's got hardwood floors throughout that need to be taken care of, the kitchen floor needs to be completely redone, all the carpet over the wood needs to be ripped up (cat pee...eww), it needs paint throughout, some windows and the slider need to be replaced, the sub floor in the attic needs to be redone, and on top of that all, there is still stuff left over from the sellers, and all that has to be hauled out and away. The good thing with this one is it is in much better shape structurally, and once fixed up, will definitely appreciate in value. It's in a little bit more iffy part of New Castle, but it's not bad at all, since the Catholic Church up the block has done some revitalization in the neighborhood, which has really turned it around (it wasn't bad to begin with, but it had started to slide 10 years ago when my older sister lived on the next street over. Since the church's efforts, it's really turned around). This one is definitely our top pick. And since we are the only bid on the house, and have been since it was re-listed (note the re- it's been on the market since around last October, and even then had only 1 offer!). We think they haven't had any offers because it's listed really high for the condition it's in- we put in at our highest, and apparently, the sellers are liking it and willing to take our offer, once a few things in the paperwork are changed. It's the bank approval that we have to worry about.
Of course, we now joke that we will find out about the house and my surgery at the same time, and it will happen when we are away in NOLA chaperoning the youth group for the National Youth Gathering. Then, Brian would have to do all the stuff to the house himself while I recuperate. Of course, we will take it either way, but having to work because I got the surgery I have been fighting for is something he will gladly and joyfully shoulder.
During all of this, Brian has been awesome. I know I say it a lot, but it really is true- he is my better half, and wants only the best for me. This entire time, when I am weeping and wailing about not having a job to contribute more to the search, Brian looks at me and says, "I just want you better. I don't want your money, I don't want your work- I just want you not in pain." You can tell he is so heartfelt about it. He keeps telling me that the long housebuying process is so painful for him, all because he just wants to give me a home, something we can build together. I know that I may not seem grateful at times, and yes, we do fight. But at the end of the day, when I am lying in bed in the dark, I am saying prayers of Thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father above for the wondrous gift He has seen fit to give me.
I am so humbled that God sent Brian into my life, and I will always and forever be in debt to my Lord and King, not only for sending Brian, but for the ultimate gift of love- His Son, Jesus. Wow, what a wonderfully amazing God I have! With every breath I take, I will praise Him. And with every thought I have, I will thank Him- for the love of my life, and all that I have, despite my circumstances. Jesus loves me, this I know...
First off, let me explain something. If you haven't read below, please do, and take note of my medical situation. For us, the decision was made for me to live with Brian instead of my mom because of my medical situation. It's certainly not ideal, but Brian is better equipped to take off work if needed for a medical procedure, or if something goes wrong and I am bed bound. My mom is a home infusion nurse, and while she is obviously devoted to her family, that devotion includes working a job that takes many hours, with not much leeway. Me living with Brian, who is better able to care for me all around, works best in this pitifully crappy situation. Like I said, not ideal, and not what I wanted to be doing ("living in sin", as some would say), but right now, my health has to take precedent.
So we begin the search for the house that we would make a home. First off, let me say that our realtor is AWESOME. Yes, all caps AWESOME. Lauren Hill, of Remax of Wilmington. I cannot recommend her enough. When Brian and I had that initial conversation, it was put upon my shoulders to contact Patrick, our pastor, and see what, if anything, he could recommend. He told us that Lauren, who is a member at our church, is a realtor and that she helped him get into 2 houses, sell the first one, and helped his mom sell her house and move as well. Since we know her through the church, I felt comfortable pairing up with her. And it has not been a mistake. She really has steered us in the right direction, flat out telling us where she wouldn't take us or sell us because the neighborhood or surrounding area was bad. She has given us her honest opinion, telling us we didn't want this house or that one because the construction was known to be shoddy, even if the area was okay. She even went so far as to take us to a not so good section of town to show us what we were "missing" (we didn't even get out of the car, it was that scary!). When we have found something we like, she insists that Mark (Brian's dad) and either my mom or dad come and approve the house- make sure there are no unforeseen issues that might get us in trouble down the road. Lauren Hill, of Remax of Wilmington. Remember that name, because I will always recommend her to anyone that asks. She's amazing, simply wonderful.
Okay, enough about the realtor (we love you, Lauren!). Unfortunately, being young 20-somethings, we don't have much saved or make enough for a huge house. We were pre approved for low amount, but we are determined to make it work. Mark taught Brian and his brother, Alan, carpentry and wood working as a skill very early on, and they all are huge into it as a hobby. My dad has many skills as well. Right now, that's our saving grace, sweat equity. We may not have much money, but when you can install appliances, finish hardwood floors, section off and finish the basement, and add other amenities that may not cost much to buy but cost a chunk to install and fix, you have an upper hand in all this. Even though the houses that we are looking at may not be in the best condition, a little elbow grease, some paint, and sweat go a looooong way.
We started the search, and I think right now, we have seen 50+ houses. Some are in total disrepair, some are in not that great sections of town, some are just a little too small. So we trudge on. The other downside? Because the amount of money we are approved for is low, most of the houses we have looked at have been either short sales (where the sellers owe more to the bank than they will ever get at market for the house, which means the bank has to approve the sale) or are foreclosures (where the bank owns the property). This makes the process extra strenuous because we can't just go in and sign the agreement, inspect, settle, and move in. No, we have to take that extra step through the bank, which is what holds up most sales and takes forever- because of the housing market and the economy, and since most of these sellers bought when the market was grossly inflated, there are stacks and stacks and stacks of these agreements waiting for approval. I am not kidding- clerks are hired just to clear this paperwork. This process can add up to 3 MONTHS to the entire ordeal. Whoa.
Finally, the topper to the whole thing is that since we are first time home buyers, we are going for that $8,000 tax credit- the biggest reason we are looking now, instead of waiting a little bit. Which adds a bit of a time crunch to the whole thing- the paperwork for that has to be submitted by December 1st, and to do that, Lauren wants us in a house by Halloween. Count backwards 3 months, and yes, that puts you right about...NOW. Just a smidgen pressed for time. On top of all of that, we are doing FHA as first time home buyers. Not a bad thing, as it often offers lower interest rates and required settlement help, but it does mean special home inspections and weird criteria to meet- no dirt on the walls, things like that. Odd, but we take it as it comes, and hope for the best.
Right now, we have found 2 that we really like. First one is a 2 br/1 ba in good condition. It's got a family room and a living room, plus the dining room and a huge laundry room. No basement, no garage, but a good sized lot. It's in a great area, and the interior is in good condition. We put the bid in oh, 6 weeks ago, but it's a short sale, and with 3 other offers on the house, could take a while- and with that many bids, we may not have that good of a chance of getting it. Plus, Mark raised some concerns of termites- there is already damage on the back of the house, and since it's a slab house, he is worried about the condition underneath. The good part is there is room for improvement/additions, if we wanted to, and in more ways than one. There are some other FHA requirements that have them worried as well, so we decided to go out looking for more houses, hoping to find another one.
The second one is also a short sale. It's a 2 br/1 ba as well, but it's got an already finished attic, a double sided basement, a sun room, and a deck. It's also got a shed out back. The kitchen is sooo much bigger! Because of where the bathroom is located, we could easily add another bathroom upstairs in the finished attic, and have a master suite. The possibility exists that we could finish off half the basement, since it's a dry basement. If we do that, we can also add a bathroom downstairs as well. It needs some work- it's got hardwood floors throughout that need to be taken care of, the kitchen floor needs to be completely redone, all the carpet over the wood needs to be ripped up (cat pee...eww), it needs paint throughout, some windows and the slider need to be replaced, the sub floor in the attic needs to be redone, and on top of that all, there is still stuff left over from the sellers, and all that has to be hauled out and away. The good thing with this one is it is in much better shape structurally, and once fixed up, will definitely appreciate in value. It's in a little bit more iffy part of New Castle, but it's not bad at all, since the Catholic Church up the block has done some revitalization in the neighborhood, which has really turned it around (it wasn't bad to begin with, but it had started to slide 10 years ago when my older sister lived on the next street over. Since the church's efforts, it's really turned around). This one is definitely our top pick. And since we are the only bid on the house, and have been since it was re-listed (note the re- it's been on the market since around last October, and even then had only 1 offer!). We think they haven't had any offers because it's listed really high for the condition it's in- we put in at our highest, and apparently, the sellers are liking it and willing to take our offer, once a few things in the paperwork are changed. It's the bank approval that we have to worry about.
Of course, we now joke that we will find out about the house and my surgery at the same time, and it will happen when we are away in NOLA chaperoning the youth group for the National Youth Gathering. Then, Brian would have to do all the stuff to the house himself while I recuperate. Of course, we will take it either way, but having to work because I got the surgery I have been fighting for is something he will gladly and joyfully shoulder.
During all of this, Brian has been awesome. I know I say it a lot, but it really is true- he is my better half, and wants only the best for me. This entire time, when I am weeping and wailing about not having a job to contribute more to the search, Brian looks at me and says, "I just want you better. I don't want your money, I don't want your work- I just want you not in pain." You can tell he is so heartfelt about it. He keeps telling me that the long housebuying process is so painful for him, all because he just wants to give me a home, something we can build together. I know that I may not seem grateful at times, and yes, we do fight. But at the end of the day, when I am lying in bed in the dark, I am saying prayers of Thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father above for the wondrous gift He has seen fit to give me.
I am so humbled that God sent Brian into my life, and I will always and forever be in debt to my Lord and King, not only for sending Brian, but for the ultimate gift of love- His Son, Jesus. Wow, what a wonderfully amazing God I have! With every breath I take, I will praise Him. And with every thought I have, I will thank Him- for the love of my life, and all that I have, despite my circumstances. Jesus loves me, this I know...
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Recently, Brian got fed up with the way our society works, in regards to disabled folks. When you are engaged to one, discriminatory events and things open your eyes to how disabled people are truly treated. And when Brian gets upset, he becomes active about it. It's one of the reasons I am so blessed to have him. Instead of doing nothing, or complaining (which I will admit, I have a tendency to do), or blaming, he becomes active and sets out to change, whether it be laws, viewpoints, or whatever he can affect. His activist mindset is one thing that attracts me to him, and I am hoping that being around him will change me for the better. There are so many things he does that I can only hope to strive towards, and I am so lucky to have him, and his love- there are times I definitely do not deserve it.
Back on track, when certain events happened that Brian could not ignore any longer, he decided to do something about it. What did he do? He started a Twitter, specifically for cataloging events, locations, people and places that have an impact, positively or negatively, big or small, on the disabled community- mostly in Delaware, but other places we go as well. I am so proud of him! Without doing much, he already has 30+ followers, and it's not been that long at all.
If you want to follow him, head to http://twitter.com/handicappedDE. Feel free to follow him on there. I am so proud, so blessed, so in love with the man that I am pledging my life to, and I couldn't be more happier that God sent him to me. I am so thankful, in so many ways, for him.
Back on track, when certain events happened that Brian could not ignore any longer, he decided to do something about it. What did he do? He started a Twitter, specifically for cataloging events, locations, people and places that have an impact, positively or negatively, big or small, on the disabled community- mostly in Delaware, but other places we go as well. I am so proud of him! Without doing much, he already has 30+ followers, and it's not been that long at all.
If you want to follow him, head to http://twitter.com/handicappedDE. Feel free to follow him on there. I am so proud, so blessed, so in love with the man that I am pledging my life to, and I couldn't be more happier that God sent him to me. I am so thankful, in so many ways, for him.
Receptions halls and centerpieces and linens, OH MY!
I know, it's been a while. Things have been really busy, and when I have free time during the day, I either am sleeping or in too much pain to update. Expect several updates today (though I don't know why, but I hate doing two posts in one day...weird, I know. But I will do several to keep everyone updated :)).
So, let me finish the story of saving some moolah. Let me first explain a key point here:
1. Brian and I had decided that we wanted a beer/wine reception. While money did play a teensy role in this decision, it more so came from the fact that we both have, ahem, certain people in both our families that like to imbibe quite a bit. We figured that with a beer/wine reception, it would be easier to police these family members- plus most of them have an affinity for hard liquor, anyway.
2. We wanted an all inclusive venue. We didn't want to have to get a hall, then get the tables, chairs, china, silverware, glassware, linens, and well, you get the point. I am not saying it's a bad idea, and you could definitely save some money on things if you are willing to haggle, but for us, with everything that is going on, meeting with extraneous vendors was not that appealing. So, to save time and hassle (which is just as important as money!), we decided we wanted a venue that had everything: Linens and catering, glassware and chairs.
After booking the ceremony site, next came the reception site. Where do you start looking for one when you have never done this, and live in Delaware? The Hotel du Pont and du Pont Country Club, of course. Brian's dad is a member still at DCC, so we thought, okay, definitely maybe. So I called. And when both venues told me that their minimum was $18k (that's $3k more than the entire budget, let alone the amount for the reception), I nearly had a heart attack/fainted/screamed until I was blue in the face. I mean, come on, we are in the middle of a recession, and they expect people to have that kind of money- just for the food?? Ummm, no. And someone needs to inform them of that. But that's not the kicker. Nooooo. The kicker was when they told me that I had to have an open bar. Remember that little tidbit at the top? First off, we don't want open bar. Second, don't tell me what I have to have at my wedding. It's my wedding! So needless to say, they got nixed- along with Deerfield, Hartefeld, and the Christiana Hilton, all of whom had minimums as well.
At this point, we decided to attend a couple of bridal shows- get a feel for a couple venues, and see where things go from there. We nixed the Embassy Suites in Newark, the Waterfall Banquet Center in Claymont, and all of the country clubs around here. We had some good leads, so I started making the calls. The Farmhouse, The Stone Barn, The Crystal Ballroom, Mendenhall Inn. And one by one, all got crossed off. The Farmhouse, while so lovely and the perfect setting, could not accommodate our guest list, and they couldn't give me pricing for 2010- I realize we are a bit away, but if I am going to book with you, I at least need an educated guess. The Stone Barn would have been absolutely perfect (it's actually recommended by friends from high school, who are getting married 1 year to the day before us!) if we didn't have to bring in our own bartender and alcohol (remember, all inclusive here!). The Crystal Ballroom was just a little too pricey, as was Mendenhall Inn.
Sigh. We are getting no where, as you can see. Then my mother (God bless her) has a brainstorm. What about the place I had my senior prom at, The Red Clay Room in Kennett Square? Wow, Mom, you are on the ball! So I looked into it...hey, wait a minute. What's this link down near the bottom- they have a place in DE? Where is this place? Executive Banquet and Conference Center. Okay, add it to the list.
So I gave them a call, and they emailed me the package and pricing. Wow, this place is looking better and better! Centerpieces are included- okay, most places do that. Wedding Cake (from Cakes by Kim) included as well- getting better. Hey, colored linens! Boy oh boy- most places only do white or ivory! And it's a 5 hour reception with a 5 hour bar, versus a 4 hour reception with a 3 hour bar...this place is looking better and better! Hmm, their pricing is not bad- about the same as the Chrystal Center. Is it worth it, and where the devil is this place??? Oh, okay, down in Newark! Not bad...
So we (my mom, Brian, and I) decide to tour the place- why not? We head on down towards Newark, and I finally get to see where this place is actually situated. It's on Route 896. At the stoplight before Route 40 (across from Siemens), turn right into the Industrial Park. Take the first left, then the first left into the parking lot. Okay, not the most ideal location- no gardens around, but it's not like it's in the back of the industrial park. It's right in the front on the corner. We park- the parking lot is nice and big, which is a plus (Hotel du Pont is in the city, with no parking!). We walk inside, and the entrance (which has a covered turnaround leading up to the doors) is nice and bright. This place isn't bad! The carpet isn't hideous, there's no gaudy wallpaper, and the decorations and lighting are simple with clean lines- right up our alley. Definitely doesn't overstimulate the senses. We meet Brad, the manager, and start the tour. The lobby is where we will have the cocktail hour, and it's nice and big and airy. The bar is in the corner, with a window to the lobby and one to the ballroom. We walk around more, and this place is really looking nice. There's a galley between the ballroom and the kitchen, so we don't hear any clanging. The bridal suite is nice, with it's own bathroom. Oh, and did I mention that the bar has 8 beers on tap, with 6-8 wines offered? I can't believe this, it's awesome! So we asked for a contract, and talk it over as we leave. The consensus was clear- this place was the best so far.
I get home, and can think of more questions to ask Brad. And it gets better and better. $8 off for a beer and wine reception. $10 kids meal of chicken fingers and fries (versus the $45 chicken fingers at Deerfield!). State of the art sound and AV equipment, with the definite ability to do PowerPoint slide shows and all that jazz- they even have their own speaker system, so the DJ doesn't have to drag theirs in. Oh, and they are having cameras installed, so that not only will guests be able to watch on the big screen when we arrive, they won't have to jostle for a view of cutting the cake, and it's all recorded on a DVD for us to go home with. Wow. This place is it. No doubt about it. We ask him for a contract for October 9, 2010.
Wait. The wedding is October 2, 2010, right? Correct. This is where they sold us. They made a mistake- they double booked the 9th, and the other couple got their deposit in first. Within the hour of realizing this mistake, we had 2 emails and a phone call, apologizing and offering to fix it anyway we wanted. Ice sculpture with dessert bar, etc etc. We decided to take the 10% discount offered for Fridays and Sundays, and apply that to our Saturday wedding, which we moved up a week- we weren't real picky on the date to begin with. But the discount wasn't what did it for us- it was the apologies, and the sincere effort to fix their mistake. We had a venue!
So, let me finish the story of saving some moolah. Let me first explain a key point here:
1. Brian and I had decided that we wanted a beer/wine reception. While money did play a teensy role in this decision, it more so came from the fact that we both have, ahem, certain people in both our families that like to imbibe quite a bit. We figured that with a beer/wine reception, it would be easier to police these family members- plus most of them have an affinity for hard liquor, anyway.
2. We wanted an all inclusive venue. We didn't want to have to get a hall, then get the tables, chairs, china, silverware, glassware, linens, and well, you get the point. I am not saying it's a bad idea, and you could definitely save some money on things if you are willing to haggle, but for us, with everything that is going on, meeting with extraneous vendors was not that appealing. So, to save time and hassle (which is just as important as money!), we decided we wanted a venue that had everything: Linens and catering, glassware and chairs.
After booking the ceremony site, next came the reception site. Where do you start looking for one when you have never done this, and live in Delaware? The Hotel du Pont and du Pont Country Club, of course. Brian's dad is a member still at DCC, so we thought, okay, definitely maybe. So I called. And when both venues told me that their minimum was $18k (that's $3k more than the entire budget, let alone the amount for the reception), I nearly had a heart attack/fainted/screamed until I was blue in the face. I mean, come on, we are in the middle of a recession, and they expect people to have that kind of money- just for the food?? Ummm, no. And someone needs to inform them of that. But that's not the kicker. Nooooo. The kicker was when they told me that I had to have an open bar. Remember that little tidbit at the top? First off, we don't want open bar. Second, don't tell me what I have to have at my wedding. It's my wedding! So needless to say, they got nixed- along with Deerfield, Hartefeld, and the Christiana Hilton, all of whom had minimums as well.
At this point, we decided to attend a couple of bridal shows- get a feel for a couple venues, and see where things go from there. We nixed the Embassy Suites in Newark, the Waterfall Banquet Center in Claymont, and all of the country clubs around here. We had some good leads, so I started making the calls. The Farmhouse, The Stone Barn, The Crystal Ballroom, Mendenhall Inn. And one by one, all got crossed off. The Farmhouse, while so lovely and the perfect setting, could not accommodate our guest list, and they couldn't give me pricing for 2010- I realize we are a bit away, but if I am going to book with you, I at least need an educated guess. The Stone Barn would have been absolutely perfect (it's actually recommended by friends from high school, who are getting married 1 year to the day before us!) if we didn't have to bring in our own bartender and alcohol (remember, all inclusive here!). The Crystal Ballroom was just a little too pricey, as was Mendenhall Inn.
Sigh. We are getting no where, as you can see. Then my mother (God bless her) has a brainstorm. What about the place I had my senior prom at, The Red Clay Room in Kennett Square? Wow, Mom, you are on the ball! So I looked into it...hey, wait a minute. What's this link down near the bottom- they have a place in DE? Where is this place? Executive Banquet and Conference Center. Okay, add it to the list.
So I gave them a call, and they emailed me the package and pricing. Wow, this place is looking better and better! Centerpieces are included- okay, most places do that. Wedding Cake (from Cakes by Kim) included as well- getting better. Hey, colored linens! Boy oh boy- most places only do white or ivory! And it's a 5 hour reception with a 5 hour bar, versus a 4 hour reception with a 3 hour bar...this place is looking better and better! Hmm, their pricing is not bad- about the same as the Chrystal Center. Is it worth it, and where the devil is this place??? Oh, okay, down in Newark! Not bad...
So we (my mom, Brian, and I) decide to tour the place- why not? We head on down towards Newark, and I finally get to see where this place is actually situated. It's on Route 896. At the stoplight before Route 40 (across from Siemens), turn right into the Industrial Park. Take the first left, then the first left into the parking lot. Okay, not the most ideal location- no gardens around, but it's not like it's in the back of the industrial park. It's right in the front on the corner. We park- the parking lot is nice and big, which is a plus (Hotel du Pont is in the city, with no parking!). We walk inside, and the entrance (which has a covered turnaround leading up to the doors) is nice and bright. This place isn't bad! The carpet isn't hideous, there's no gaudy wallpaper, and the decorations and lighting are simple with clean lines- right up our alley. Definitely doesn't overstimulate the senses. We meet Brad, the manager, and start the tour. The lobby is where we will have the cocktail hour, and it's nice and big and airy. The bar is in the corner, with a window to the lobby and one to the ballroom. We walk around more, and this place is really looking nice. There's a galley between the ballroom and the kitchen, so we don't hear any clanging. The bridal suite is nice, with it's own bathroom. Oh, and did I mention that the bar has 8 beers on tap, with 6-8 wines offered? I can't believe this, it's awesome! So we asked for a contract, and talk it over as we leave. The consensus was clear- this place was the best so far.
I get home, and can think of more questions to ask Brad. And it gets better and better. $8 off for a beer and wine reception. $10 kids meal of chicken fingers and fries (versus the $45 chicken fingers at Deerfield!). State of the art sound and AV equipment, with the definite ability to do PowerPoint slide shows and all that jazz- they even have their own speaker system, so the DJ doesn't have to drag theirs in. Oh, and they are having cameras installed, so that not only will guests be able to watch on the big screen when we arrive, they won't have to jostle for a view of cutting the cake, and it's all recorded on a DVD for us to go home with. Wow. This place is it. No doubt about it. We ask him for a contract for October 9, 2010.
Wait. The wedding is October 2, 2010, right? Correct. This is where they sold us. They made a mistake- they double booked the 9th, and the other couple got their deposit in first. Within the hour of realizing this mistake, we had 2 emails and a phone call, apologizing and offering to fix it anyway we wanted. Ice sculpture with dessert bar, etc etc. We decided to take the 10% discount offered for Fridays and Sundays, and apply that to our Saturday wedding, which we moved up a week- we weren't real picky on the date to begin with. But the discount wasn't what did it for us- it was the apologies, and the sincere effort to fix their mistake. We had a venue!
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