Figured since it's a wedding/relationship blog, maaaaybe I should say something about weddings. Just maybe.
I have said before that if someone asked me what my theme is, I would reply with "Our theme is us. Everything that plays a part in our wedding day- and in our life together- is important to either one or both of us."
Brian and I are doing the candy buffet as a favor. When we decided to do it, it was with the understanding that we would try to make it fun, and do it cheap. Not meaning to offend anyone who is doing color coordination, but it's my personal opinion that people are not looking at what color M&M's or Skittles or whatever is going into their mouths. They just care that it's yummy! We made the decision that color coordination is not for us, since doing it that way often costs quite a bit more money than doing regular candy. Not only that, but if we color coordinated everything, 1) it would look quite boring, in my opinion, and 2) we wouldn't be able to have a lot of Brian and I's favorite candies! Since the theme is "US", what fun would it be if we can't have Sour Patch Kids because they don't "match"? We have been making a list, with help from family and friends, of what candies we want at the wedding. We would ideally like to do a large buffet, with many styles and choices. If we want to do it that way, saving money on the cost of the candy itself is huge. So, for that purchase, we will be heading to places like Costco and BJ's (both wholesale clubs). A 3 lb. bag of regular M&M's or Skittles sells for about $7. To put that in perspective, for the same price, I can get just Blue M&M's, in a 7 oz bag! 5 lbs of the Color Only selection is $50. Skittles? You can't purchase individual colors, as far as I know- which means that we wouldn't be able to have them in our Blue, White, and Silver wedding (and seeing as how Skittles are my mom's absolute favorite candy, well, we kinda need to have them!).
We also are trying to obtain the containers the cheapest way possible as well. I didn't really want to go down the typical road, using only apothecary and candy jars. I really wanted an eclectic look, with different types of cuts and shapes, holding all sorts of different candy! My older sister, Kelly, who is also my Matron of Honor, is awesome when it comes to this. She has scoured consignment shops and Good Will, looking for vases and bowls and anything glass that we could use to hold candy. She has found some pretty awesome containers that way! We have also been to Marshall's, TJ Maxx, and Ross, looking for cool vases that are inexpensive. Finally, I have also done the Trash to Treasure board on the Knot, and have purchased vases another bride used for her candy buffet in her wedding. Because quite a few brides want to get rid of the extras from their wedding (often, it's overtaking their dining room table or spare bedroom, and they want their space back!), other brides-to-be can often find good deals on items that they are looking for- items they will only use once, and hopefully pass onto other brides who can use them. I managed to get 10 containers for $30. In all, I believe we have around 25 glass items; large, small, low, high, all sorts. It is going to look soooo awesome when it finally comes time to set it all up!
In addition to the glassware and all that we have collected, I have also been gathering little odds and ends, here and there. From the same bride who sold me the glassware, I also purchased the photo cardbox (it 4 8x10's in a square box shape, and our guests can put their cards for us into the middle part) and 20 metal small easels, which we will probably use for either the menus and/or the table numbers. My mom's dining room is starting to look a little crowded.
I also found my wedding day jewelry! While down in NOLA, they had a store set up, and a jewelry section in the store. The lady selling jewelry works for a non-profit missionary group that sends missionaries to Mexico. They also build schools and educate girls, young women, and single mothers. Well, they had some GORGEOUS stuff. I had been looking online, but hadn't been able to find anything that really struck my fancy. While browsing through the jewelry there, I saw this breathtaking cross- turns out, it was made by one of the people they help in Mexico, and one of a kind. Only problem was, it was on a strand of pink freshwater pearls, which would not go with my dress at all. When I mentioned how much I liked it but that it wouldn't match, she said she had her supplies with her, and could make it however I wanted! She redid the necklace with white freshwater pearls, white Swavorski crystals, and blue Swavorski Crystals. She also made earrings to match :) The set is perfect; it's what I was looking for, gorgeous yet simple, not overpowering. And for the same price as I was looking online, I was able to help out a non-profit organization, which made me feel good about my purchase!
I contacted and am currently going through DJ material. I can tell you, I do NOT recommend D&J DJ service. I called them to inquire about their services, and was so uncomfortable and put off on the phone, I refuse to book them, even though they came recommended from several friends who had seen them in action. The entire conversation was about how they were the best, and how I should cut my expenses elsewhere to afford them, and how if I book someone else don't come crying to them about how bad it was because he tried to warn me that they were the best and the only ones that matter, and how my hall is horrible and the equipment is sub par and you can't trust the sound system there...It was horrible, and honestly the most uncomfortable convo I have had with a potential vendor yet. They were way out of my price range, and when I finally could get a word in edgewise, I promptly told them that we were on a budget for a reason, and we were just glad that Brian had a job, since I can't work because of medical conditions, and we had budgeted what we could afford. When I mentioned the economy and me having medical conditions that prevent me from working, he got really quiet for a minute and didn't know what to say- but only for a minute. Then it was back to that they were the best and that I had to find the money by cutting it from other vendors or services. I got off the phone as soon as I could, and promptly crossed them off the list. If you are the type to go with the first vendor you talk to because they pressure you, go for it. Otherwise, steer clear of D&J. I am looking now into Schaffer Sound and Tom Barrett DJ- if you have comments about either, let me know!
That's about it for the wedding updates (at least, I think so). More fun and adventurous posts coming later!
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The house that wasn't
Yes. You read right. Wasn't.
We did not get the house. And we will not be purchasing a home for another year. Instead, we will be moving out of our current apartment, and moving into another apartment (one that is better all around- if you are moving to DE, I do not, in any way, recommend Cavalier Country Club Apartments, for a host of reasons!).
What happened? Simple enough, HUD and FHA changed the rules on July 15th. They did it with no notice, and because of the changes, Brian doesn't qualify for FHA anymore. Simply put, he's a 1099 tax form employee, and you have to have been a W2 tax form employee for at least a year.
It's heartwrenching. It's maddening. We had gone through with closing and the inspection, and the mortgage broker waited almost 2 weeks to tell us- something that really got under our skin. Needless to say, we won't be using him in the future. He cost us a ton of money that we wouldn't have had to put out if he had informed us as soon as he knew and understood the rule change. Our wonderful realtor, Lauren, contacted another broker on our behalf, and that one tried and tried to get us through. But when FHA says no, it's a no. The Kicker, with a capital K? The house we were going to end up in was the second house that we looked at in the whole process, back in May. If we had done it then, we would have sneaked in right before the rule change.
Am I mad? Absolutely. I wonder how the government (HUD) and FHA can expect the housing market to be on the upclimb if they keep pulling the funding needed? What's the use in offering the tax credit? I have heard in the rumor mill several things: one, that HUD and the government will most likely be offering another tax credit next year, and most likely in a larger amount. I have also heard through the grapevine that because FHA/HUD put these regulation and rule changes into effect, it will more than likely put us into another 2 or 3 housing slumps; if you thought this was bad, nope. It will get worse from here.
So maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this is God's way of saying, good things come to those who wait. Not that patience was ever one of my virtues. But who knows. Maybe we will end up in a little larger house, that needs a little less work, for the same price or less that we were going to offer. Maybe we will be able to afford a little more, since hopefully by that point I will have had surgery and be able to work, providing more income. I am trying, really I am, to keep a bright outlook. It's not easy, but I am trying.
So we started the look for another apartment. We sure as heck aren't staying here. We found a couple more places that are nicer. They cost more, but what are you going to do? I guess that's the tradeoff. The biggest disappointment for me, besides the not being allowed to choose wall colors and decorate and all, is that Brian had promised me we would get a dog once we moved- a Yorkie, because I want one so desperately. Unfortunately, the complex we will probably move to does not allow dogs. So once more, I am left to wait. Brian said at the latest, it will be my wedding gift.
Please try to understand, that while I am trying to look on the bright side, it's hard. Really hard. Besides the disappointment in a dog, there's so much more. I was looking forward to creating a home with Brian- somewhere we would start a family together. And now, instead of investing the money of mortgage payments back into our future, we are throwing it away in rent, and it's a lot of money that we are throwing away. That makes it very bitter to swallow. VERY bitter.
I know God has a plan, and I have to trust Him. I realize this is a test, and that He will NEVER give me more than I can handle. But just once, it would be nice to be given a break and "win" every so often.
We did not get the house. And we will not be purchasing a home for another year. Instead, we will be moving out of our current apartment, and moving into another apartment (one that is better all around- if you are moving to DE, I do not, in any way, recommend Cavalier Country Club Apartments, for a host of reasons!).
What happened? Simple enough, HUD and FHA changed the rules on July 15th. They did it with no notice, and because of the changes, Brian doesn't qualify for FHA anymore. Simply put, he's a 1099 tax form employee, and you have to have been a W2 tax form employee for at least a year.
It's heartwrenching. It's maddening. We had gone through with closing and the inspection, and the mortgage broker waited almost 2 weeks to tell us- something that really got under our skin. Needless to say, we won't be using him in the future. He cost us a ton of money that we wouldn't have had to put out if he had informed us as soon as he knew and understood the rule change. Our wonderful realtor, Lauren, contacted another broker on our behalf, and that one tried and tried to get us through. But when FHA says no, it's a no. The Kicker, with a capital K? The house we were going to end up in was the second house that we looked at in the whole process, back in May. If we had done it then, we would have sneaked in right before the rule change.
Am I mad? Absolutely. I wonder how the government (HUD) and FHA can expect the housing market to be on the upclimb if they keep pulling the funding needed? What's the use in offering the tax credit? I have heard in the rumor mill several things: one, that HUD and the government will most likely be offering another tax credit next year, and most likely in a larger amount. I have also heard through the grapevine that because FHA/HUD put these regulation and rule changes into effect, it will more than likely put us into another 2 or 3 housing slumps; if you thought this was bad, nope. It will get worse from here.
So maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this is God's way of saying, good things come to those who wait. Not that patience was ever one of my virtues. But who knows. Maybe we will end up in a little larger house, that needs a little less work, for the same price or less that we were going to offer. Maybe we will be able to afford a little more, since hopefully by that point I will have had surgery and be able to work, providing more income. I am trying, really I am, to keep a bright outlook. It's not easy, but I am trying.
So we started the look for another apartment. We sure as heck aren't staying here. We found a couple more places that are nicer. They cost more, but what are you going to do? I guess that's the tradeoff. The biggest disappointment for me, besides the not being allowed to choose wall colors and decorate and all, is that Brian had promised me we would get a dog once we moved- a Yorkie, because I want one so desperately. Unfortunately, the complex we will probably move to does not allow dogs. So once more, I am left to wait. Brian said at the latest, it will be my wedding gift.
Please try to understand, that while I am trying to look on the bright side, it's hard. Really hard. Besides the disappointment in a dog, there's so much more. I was looking forward to creating a home with Brian- somewhere we would start a family together. And now, instead of investing the money of mortgage payments back into our future, we are throwing it away in rent, and it's a lot of money that we are throwing away. That makes it very bitter to swallow. VERY bitter.
I know God has a plan, and I have to trust Him. I realize this is a test, and that He will NEVER give me more than I can handle. But just once, it would be nice to be given a break and "win" every so often.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
A Bride on a Budget
When Brian and I got engaged, we knew that money would be tight for the wedding. We knew that we would be contributing quite a bit ourselves, in addition to whatever our parents graciously gave us. We knew it would not be easy, but we were up for a challenge from day one- after all, we have faced many in our relationship already, and they have always strengthened our love. Why not add one, albeit fun, challenge to the mix?
Since I have no qualms about talking bridal budgets here (who knows when some other lovely lady might need some budget advice), Brian and I came to the conclusion that $15,000 would be a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding for us. I know, it seems like quite a bit for a "frugal" wedding. But in the Tri-State area, nothing comes cheap, and weddings are no exception. We worked our budget out, and set our goals for each category, knowing full well it would take work on both parts.
We set the guest list at 125- not too big, not too small. I come from a freakin' hugomongous family on both my mom and dad's side, so having this number will help to cover all our bases. Note to planning brides: Make sure you set a number you are comfortable with. Remember that in the end, there will be no's, but don't plan for more than you can afford. You do not want to be in debt for the start of the rest of your lives together. So if your fiance's dear second cousin's great aunt has to be cut from the guest list, don't be upset- it happens to everyone.
Brian and I also made the decision to invite all the members of our congregation of our home church to the ceremony. For those who think this is not kosher, keep in mind that we cannot pay for everyone to be at the reception, and also please remember that in a close-knit faith family, this is actually very common- especially when the people getting married are both members, and both very active. We wanted to extend the invitation to the ceremony to all members at St. Philip's, as all of them have been extremely supportive of Brian and I. We will probably invite via the bulletin (the Sunday morning pamphlet), and the monthly newsletter (and yes, our pastor is supportive of this).
The first step was the ceremony site. Both Brian and I are members at St. Philip's (see post below), and we knew we wanted our pastor, Patrick, to marry us. Patrick has been an integral part of helping us get to where we are in our relationship, so that one was a no-brainer. But there's a small, eensy teensy problem- St. Philip's is tiny. Reeeeeeally tiny. Like, we have to have 3 servicies on Christmas Eve and even then we are all still packed like sardines tiny. There is no way that all of our guests will fit in there comfortably, let alone all our guests plus the congregation members. Buuuuuuuuut, here's where it all gets better! The church my grandma is a member at, St. Stephen's in Wilmington, is the church that both of our families used to be members at- it's where we originally met. My grandparents and parents were married in that church, and it's where both Brian and I were baptized. My grandfather, who died in Febuary of 2008, was a longtime faithful member, serving in all ways he could. It was his wish for his grandchildren to be married there, and having the ceremony there would be a great honor. The sanctuary itself is large enough to hold 250-300, and is gorgeous (think gothic cathedral, high church). We called the pastor there, and they graciously are letting us say our vows there, for free! Brian and I can't wait to worship together there on our wedding day. For us, the ceremony is the important part- pledging ourselves to each other and to God, while worshipping and thanking Him for all the wonders we have in our lives.
Since I have no qualms about talking bridal budgets here (who knows when some other lovely lady might need some budget advice), Brian and I came to the conclusion that $15,000 would be a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding for us. I know, it seems like quite a bit for a "frugal" wedding. But in the Tri-State area, nothing comes cheap, and weddings are no exception. We worked our budget out, and set our goals for each category, knowing full well it would take work on both parts.
We set the guest list at 125- not too big, not too small. I come from a freakin' hugomongous family on both my mom and dad's side, so having this number will help to cover all our bases. Note to planning brides: Make sure you set a number you are comfortable with. Remember that in the end, there will be no's, but don't plan for more than you can afford. You do not want to be in debt for the start of the rest of your lives together. So if your fiance's dear second cousin's great aunt has to be cut from the guest list, don't be upset- it happens to everyone.
Brian and I also made the decision to invite all the members of our congregation of our home church to the ceremony. For those who think this is not kosher, keep in mind that we cannot pay for everyone to be at the reception, and also please remember that in a close-knit faith family, this is actually very common- especially when the people getting married are both members, and both very active. We wanted to extend the invitation to the ceremony to all members at St. Philip's, as all of them have been extremely supportive of Brian and I. We will probably invite via the bulletin (the Sunday morning pamphlet), and the monthly newsletter (and yes, our pastor is supportive of this).
The first step was the ceremony site. Both Brian and I are members at St. Philip's (see post below), and we knew we wanted our pastor, Patrick, to marry us. Patrick has been an integral part of helping us get to where we are in our relationship, so that one was a no-brainer. But there's a small, eensy teensy problem- St. Philip's is tiny. Reeeeeeally tiny. Like, we have to have 3 servicies on Christmas Eve and even then we are all still packed like sardines tiny. There is no way that all of our guests will fit in there comfortably, let alone all our guests plus the congregation members. Buuuuuuuuut, here's where it all gets better! The church my grandma is a member at, St. Stephen's in Wilmington, is the church that both of our families used to be members at- it's where we originally met. My grandparents and parents were married in that church, and it's where both Brian and I were baptized. My grandfather, who died in Febuary of 2008, was a longtime faithful member, serving in all ways he could. It was his wish for his grandchildren to be married there, and having the ceremony there would be a great honor. The sanctuary itself is large enough to hold 250-300, and is gorgeous (think gothic cathedral, high church). We called the pastor there, and they graciously are letting us say our vows there, for free! Brian and I can't wait to worship together there on our wedding day. For us, the ceremony is the important part- pledging ourselves to each other and to God, while worshipping and thanking Him for all the wonders we have in our lives.
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