Figured since it's a wedding/relationship blog, maaaaybe I should say something about weddings. Just maybe.
I have said before that if someone asked me what my theme is, I would reply with "Our theme is us. Everything that plays a part in our wedding day- and in our life together- is important to either one or both of us."
Brian and I are doing the candy buffet as a favor. When we decided to do it, it was with the understanding that we would try to make it fun, and do it cheap. Not meaning to offend anyone who is doing color coordination, but it's my personal opinion that people are not looking at what color M&M's or Skittles or whatever is going into their mouths. They just care that it's yummy! We made the decision that color coordination is not for us, since doing it that way often costs quite a bit more money than doing regular candy. Not only that, but if we color coordinated everything, 1) it would look quite boring, in my opinion, and 2) we wouldn't be able to have a lot of Brian and I's favorite candies! Since the theme is "US", what fun would it be if we can't have Sour Patch Kids because they don't "match"? We have been making a list, with help from family and friends, of what candies we want at the wedding. We would ideally like to do a large buffet, with many styles and choices. If we want to do it that way, saving money on the cost of the candy itself is huge. So, for that purchase, we will be heading to places like Costco and BJ's (both wholesale clubs). A 3 lb. bag of regular M&M's or Skittles sells for about $7. To put that in perspective, for the same price, I can get just Blue M&M's, in a 7 oz bag! 5 lbs of the Color Only selection is $50. Skittles? You can't purchase individual colors, as far as I know- which means that we wouldn't be able to have them in our Blue, White, and Silver wedding (and seeing as how Skittles are my mom's absolute favorite candy, well, we kinda need to have them!).
We also are trying to obtain the containers the cheapest way possible as well. I didn't really want to go down the typical road, using only apothecary and candy jars. I really wanted an eclectic look, with different types of cuts and shapes, holding all sorts of different candy! My older sister, Kelly, who is also my Matron of Honor, is awesome when it comes to this. She has scoured consignment shops and Good Will, looking for vases and bowls and anything glass that we could use to hold candy. She has found some pretty awesome containers that way! We have also been to Marshall's, TJ Maxx, and Ross, looking for cool vases that are inexpensive. Finally, I have also done the Trash to Treasure board on the Knot, and have purchased vases another bride used for her candy buffet in her wedding. Because quite a few brides want to get rid of the extras from their wedding (often, it's overtaking their dining room table or spare bedroom, and they want their space back!), other brides-to-be can often find good deals on items that they are looking for- items they will only use once, and hopefully pass onto other brides who can use them. I managed to get 10 containers for $30. In all, I believe we have around 25 glass items; large, small, low, high, all sorts. It is going to look soooo awesome when it finally comes time to set it all up!
In addition to the glassware and all that we have collected, I have also been gathering little odds and ends, here and there. From the same bride who sold me the glassware, I also purchased the photo cardbox (it 4 8x10's in a square box shape, and our guests can put their cards for us into the middle part) and 20 metal small easels, which we will probably use for either the menus and/or the table numbers. My mom's dining room is starting to look a little crowded.
I also found my wedding day jewelry! While down in NOLA, they had a store set up, and a jewelry section in the store. The lady selling jewelry works for a non-profit missionary group that sends missionaries to Mexico. They also build schools and educate girls, young women, and single mothers. Well, they had some GORGEOUS stuff. I had been looking online, but hadn't been able to find anything that really struck my fancy. While browsing through the jewelry there, I saw this breathtaking cross- turns out, it was made by one of the people they help in Mexico, and one of a kind. Only problem was, it was on a strand of pink freshwater pearls, which would not go with my dress at all. When I mentioned how much I liked it but that it wouldn't match, she said she had her supplies with her, and could make it however I wanted! She redid the necklace with white freshwater pearls, white Swavorski crystals, and blue Swavorski Crystals. She also made earrings to match :) The set is perfect; it's what I was looking for, gorgeous yet simple, not overpowering. And for the same price as I was looking online, I was able to help out a non-profit organization, which made me feel good about my purchase!
I contacted and am currently going through DJ material. I can tell you, I do NOT recommend D&J DJ service. I called them to inquire about their services, and was so uncomfortable and put off on the phone, I refuse to book them, even though they came recommended from several friends who had seen them in action. The entire conversation was about how they were the best, and how I should cut my expenses elsewhere to afford them, and how if I book someone else don't come crying to them about how bad it was because he tried to warn me that they were the best and the only ones that matter, and how my hall is horrible and the equipment is sub par and you can't trust the sound system there...It was horrible, and honestly the most uncomfortable convo I have had with a potential vendor yet. They were way out of my price range, and when I finally could get a word in edgewise, I promptly told them that we were on a budget for a reason, and we were just glad that Brian had a job, since I can't work because of medical conditions, and we had budgeted what we could afford. When I mentioned the economy and me having medical conditions that prevent me from working, he got really quiet for a minute and didn't know what to say- but only for a minute. Then it was back to that they were the best and that I had to find the money by cutting it from other vendors or services. I got off the phone as soon as I could, and promptly crossed them off the list. If you are the type to go with the first vendor you talk to because they pressure you, go for it. Otherwise, steer clear of D&J. I am looking now into Schaffer Sound and Tom Barrett DJ- if you have comments about either, let me know!
That's about it for the wedding updates (at least, I think so). More fun and adventurous posts coming later!
Showing posts with label budget. Show all posts
Showing posts with label budget. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Receptions halls and centerpieces and linens, OH MY!
I know, it's been a while. Things have been really busy, and when I have free time during the day, I either am sleeping or in too much pain to update. Expect several updates today (though I don't know why, but I hate doing two posts in one day...weird, I know. But I will do several to keep everyone updated :)).
So, let me finish the story of saving some moolah. Let me first explain a key point here:
1. Brian and I had decided that we wanted a beer/wine reception. While money did play a teensy role in this decision, it more so came from the fact that we both have, ahem, certain people in both our families that like to imbibe quite a bit. We figured that with a beer/wine reception, it would be easier to police these family members- plus most of them have an affinity for hard liquor, anyway.
2. We wanted an all inclusive venue. We didn't want to have to get a hall, then get the tables, chairs, china, silverware, glassware, linens, and well, you get the point. I am not saying it's a bad idea, and you could definitely save some money on things if you are willing to haggle, but for us, with everything that is going on, meeting with extraneous vendors was not that appealing. So, to save time and hassle (which is just as important as money!), we decided we wanted a venue that had everything: Linens and catering, glassware and chairs.
After booking the ceremony site, next came the reception site. Where do you start looking for one when you have never done this, and live in Delaware? The Hotel du Pont and du Pont Country Club, of course. Brian's dad is a member still at DCC, so we thought, okay, definitely maybe. So I called. And when both venues told me that their minimum was $18k (that's $3k more than the entire budget, let alone the amount for the reception), I nearly had a heart attack/fainted/screamed until I was blue in the face. I mean, come on, we are in the middle of a recession, and they expect people to have that kind of money- just for the food?? Ummm, no. And someone needs to inform them of that. But that's not the kicker. Nooooo. The kicker was when they told me that I had to have an open bar. Remember that little tidbit at the top? First off, we don't want open bar. Second, don't tell me what I have to have at my wedding. It's my wedding! So needless to say, they got nixed- along with Deerfield, Hartefeld, and the Christiana Hilton, all of whom had minimums as well.
At this point, we decided to attend a couple of bridal shows- get a feel for a couple venues, and see where things go from there. We nixed the Embassy Suites in Newark, the Waterfall Banquet Center in Claymont, and all of the country clubs around here. We had some good leads, so I started making the calls. The Farmhouse, The Stone Barn, The Crystal Ballroom, Mendenhall Inn. And one by one, all got crossed off. The Farmhouse, while so lovely and the perfect setting, could not accommodate our guest list, and they couldn't give me pricing for 2010- I realize we are a bit away, but if I am going to book with you, I at least need an educated guess. The Stone Barn would have been absolutely perfect (it's actually recommended by friends from high school, who are getting married 1 year to the day before us!) if we didn't have to bring in our own bartender and alcohol (remember, all inclusive here!). The Crystal Ballroom was just a little too pricey, as was Mendenhall Inn.
Sigh. We are getting no where, as you can see. Then my mother (God bless her) has a brainstorm. What about the place I had my senior prom at, The Red Clay Room in Kennett Square? Wow, Mom, you are on the ball! So I looked into it...hey, wait a minute. What's this link down near the bottom- they have a place in DE? Where is this place? Executive Banquet and Conference Center. Okay, add it to the list.
So I gave them a call, and they emailed me the package and pricing. Wow, this place is looking better and better! Centerpieces are included- okay, most places do that. Wedding Cake (from Cakes by Kim) included as well- getting better. Hey, colored linens! Boy oh boy- most places only do white or ivory! And it's a 5 hour reception with a 5 hour bar, versus a 4 hour reception with a 3 hour bar...this place is looking better and better! Hmm, their pricing is not bad- about the same as the Chrystal Center. Is it worth it, and where the devil is this place??? Oh, okay, down in Newark! Not bad...
So we (my mom, Brian, and I) decide to tour the place- why not? We head on down towards Newark, and I finally get to see where this place is actually situated. It's on Route 896. At the stoplight before Route 40 (across from Siemens), turn right into the Industrial Park. Take the first left, then the first left into the parking lot. Okay, not the most ideal location- no gardens around, but it's not like it's in the back of the industrial park. It's right in the front on the corner. We park- the parking lot is nice and big, which is a plus (Hotel du Pont is in the city, with no parking!). We walk inside, and the entrance (which has a covered turnaround leading up to the doors) is nice and bright. This place isn't bad! The carpet isn't hideous, there's no gaudy wallpaper, and the decorations and lighting are simple with clean lines- right up our alley. Definitely doesn't overstimulate the senses. We meet Brad, the manager, and start the tour. The lobby is where we will have the cocktail hour, and it's nice and big and airy. The bar is in the corner, with a window to the lobby and one to the ballroom. We walk around more, and this place is really looking nice. There's a galley between the ballroom and the kitchen, so we don't hear any clanging. The bridal suite is nice, with it's own bathroom. Oh, and did I mention that the bar has 8 beers on tap, with 6-8 wines offered? I can't believe this, it's awesome! So we asked for a contract, and talk it over as we leave. The consensus was clear- this place was the best so far.
I get home, and can think of more questions to ask Brad. And it gets better and better. $8 off for a beer and wine reception. $10 kids meal of chicken fingers and fries (versus the $45 chicken fingers at Deerfield!). State of the art sound and AV equipment, with the definite ability to do PowerPoint slide shows and all that jazz- they even have their own speaker system, so the DJ doesn't have to drag theirs in. Oh, and they are having cameras installed, so that not only will guests be able to watch on the big screen when we arrive, they won't have to jostle for a view of cutting the cake, and it's all recorded on a DVD for us to go home with. Wow. This place is it. No doubt about it. We ask him for a contract for October 9, 2010.
Wait. The wedding is October 2, 2010, right? Correct. This is where they sold us. They made a mistake- they double booked the 9th, and the other couple got their deposit in first. Within the hour of realizing this mistake, we had 2 emails and a phone call, apologizing and offering to fix it anyway we wanted. Ice sculpture with dessert bar, etc etc. We decided to take the 10% discount offered for Fridays and Sundays, and apply that to our Saturday wedding, which we moved up a week- we weren't real picky on the date to begin with. But the discount wasn't what did it for us- it was the apologies, and the sincere effort to fix their mistake. We had a venue!
So, let me finish the story of saving some moolah. Let me first explain a key point here:
1. Brian and I had decided that we wanted a beer/wine reception. While money did play a teensy role in this decision, it more so came from the fact that we both have, ahem, certain people in both our families that like to imbibe quite a bit. We figured that with a beer/wine reception, it would be easier to police these family members- plus most of them have an affinity for hard liquor, anyway.
2. We wanted an all inclusive venue. We didn't want to have to get a hall, then get the tables, chairs, china, silverware, glassware, linens, and well, you get the point. I am not saying it's a bad idea, and you could definitely save some money on things if you are willing to haggle, but for us, with everything that is going on, meeting with extraneous vendors was not that appealing. So, to save time and hassle (which is just as important as money!), we decided we wanted a venue that had everything: Linens and catering, glassware and chairs.
After booking the ceremony site, next came the reception site. Where do you start looking for one when you have never done this, and live in Delaware? The Hotel du Pont and du Pont Country Club, of course. Brian's dad is a member still at DCC, so we thought, okay, definitely maybe. So I called. And when both venues told me that their minimum was $18k (that's $3k more than the entire budget, let alone the amount for the reception), I nearly had a heart attack/fainted/screamed until I was blue in the face. I mean, come on, we are in the middle of a recession, and they expect people to have that kind of money- just for the food?? Ummm, no. And someone needs to inform them of that. But that's not the kicker. Nooooo. The kicker was when they told me that I had to have an open bar. Remember that little tidbit at the top? First off, we don't want open bar. Second, don't tell me what I have to have at my wedding. It's my wedding! So needless to say, they got nixed- along with Deerfield, Hartefeld, and the Christiana Hilton, all of whom had minimums as well.
At this point, we decided to attend a couple of bridal shows- get a feel for a couple venues, and see where things go from there. We nixed the Embassy Suites in Newark, the Waterfall Banquet Center in Claymont, and all of the country clubs around here. We had some good leads, so I started making the calls. The Farmhouse, The Stone Barn, The Crystal Ballroom, Mendenhall Inn. And one by one, all got crossed off. The Farmhouse, while so lovely and the perfect setting, could not accommodate our guest list, and they couldn't give me pricing for 2010- I realize we are a bit away, but if I am going to book with you, I at least need an educated guess. The Stone Barn would have been absolutely perfect (it's actually recommended by friends from high school, who are getting married 1 year to the day before us!) if we didn't have to bring in our own bartender and alcohol (remember, all inclusive here!). The Crystal Ballroom was just a little too pricey, as was Mendenhall Inn.
Sigh. We are getting no where, as you can see. Then my mother (God bless her) has a brainstorm. What about the place I had my senior prom at, The Red Clay Room in Kennett Square? Wow, Mom, you are on the ball! So I looked into it...hey, wait a minute. What's this link down near the bottom- they have a place in DE? Where is this place? Executive Banquet and Conference Center. Okay, add it to the list.
So I gave them a call, and they emailed me the package and pricing. Wow, this place is looking better and better! Centerpieces are included- okay, most places do that. Wedding Cake (from Cakes by Kim) included as well- getting better. Hey, colored linens! Boy oh boy- most places only do white or ivory! And it's a 5 hour reception with a 5 hour bar, versus a 4 hour reception with a 3 hour bar...this place is looking better and better! Hmm, their pricing is not bad- about the same as the Chrystal Center. Is it worth it, and where the devil is this place??? Oh, okay, down in Newark! Not bad...
So we (my mom, Brian, and I) decide to tour the place- why not? We head on down towards Newark, and I finally get to see where this place is actually situated. It's on Route 896. At the stoplight before Route 40 (across from Siemens), turn right into the Industrial Park. Take the first left, then the first left into the parking lot. Okay, not the most ideal location- no gardens around, but it's not like it's in the back of the industrial park. It's right in the front on the corner. We park- the parking lot is nice and big, which is a plus (Hotel du Pont is in the city, with no parking!). We walk inside, and the entrance (which has a covered turnaround leading up to the doors) is nice and bright. This place isn't bad! The carpet isn't hideous, there's no gaudy wallpaper, and the decorations and lighting are simple with clean lines- right up our alley. Definitely doesn't overstimulate the senses. We meet Brad, the manager, and start the tour. The lobby is where we will have the cocktail hour, and it's nice and big and airy. The bar is in the corner, with a window to the lobby and one to the ballroom. We walk around more, and this place is really looking nice. There's a galley between the ballroom and the kitchen, so we don't hear any clanging. The bridal suite is nice, with it's own bathroom. Oh, and did I mention that the bar has 8 beers on tap, with 6-8 wines offered? I can't believe this, it's awesome! So we asked for a contract, and talk it over as we leave. The consensus was clear- this place was the best so far.
I get home, and can think of more questions to ask Brad. And it gets better and better. $8 off for a beer and wine reception. $10 kids meal of chicken fingers and fries (versus the $45 chicken fingers at Deerfield!). State of the art sound and AV equipment, with the definite ability to do PowerPoint slide shows and all that jazz- they even have their own speaker system, so the DJ doesn't have to drag theirs in. Oh, and they are having cameras installed, so that not only will guests be able to watch on the big screen when we arrive, they won't have to jostle for a view of cutting the cake, and it's all recorded on a DVD for us to go home with. Wow. This place is it. No doubt about it. We ask him for a contract for October 9, 2010.
Wait. The wedding is October 2, 2010, right? Correct. This is where they sold us. They made a mistake- they double booked the 9th, and the other couple got their deposit in first. Within the hour of realizing this mistake, we had 2 emails and a phone call, apologizing and offering to fix it anyway we wanted. Ice sculpture with dessert bar, etc etc. We decided to take the 10% discount offered for Fridays and Sundays, and apply that to our Saturday wedding, which we moved up a week- we weren't real picky on the date to begin with. But the discount wasn't what did it for us- it was the apologies, and the sincere effort to fix their mistake. We had a venue!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
A Bride on a Budget
When Brian and I got engaged, we knew that money would be tight for the wedding. We knew that we would be contributing quite a bit ourselves, in addition to whatever our parents graciously gave us. We knew it would not be easy, but we were up for a challenge from day one- after all, we have faced many in our relationship already, and they have always strengthened our love. Why not add one, albeit fun, challenge to the mix?
Since I have no qualms about talking bridal budgets here (who knows when some other lovely lady might need some budget advice), Brian and I came to the conclusion that $15,000 would be a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding for us. I know, it seems like quite a bit for a "frugal" wedding. But in the Tri-State area, nothing comes cheap, and weddings are no exception. We worked our budget out, and set our goals for each category, knowing full well it would take work on both parts.
We set the guest list at 125- not too big, not too small. I come from a freakin' hugomongous family on both my mom and dad's side, so having this number will help to cover all our bases. Note to planning brides: Make sure you set a number you are comfortable with. Remember that in the end, there will be no's, but don't plan for more than you can afford. You do not want to be in debt for the start of the rest of your lives together. So if your fiance's dear second cousin's great aunt has to be cut from the guest list, don't be upset- it happens to everyone.
Brian and I also made the decision to invite all the members of our congregation of our home church to the ceremony. For those who think this is not kosher, keep in mind that we cannot pay for everyone to be at the reception, and also please remember that in a close-knit faith family, this is actually very common- especially when the people getting married are both members, and both very active. We wanted to extend the invitation to the ceremony to all members at St. Philip's, as all of them have been extremely supportive of Brian and I. We will probably invite via the bulletin (the Sunday morning pamphlet), and the monthly newsletter (and yes, our pastor is supportive of this).
The first step was the ceremony site. Both Brian and I are members at St. Philip's (see post below), and we knew we wanted our pastor, Patrick, to marry us. Patrick has been an integral part of helping us get to where we are in our relationship, so that one was a no-brainer. But there's a small, eensy teensy problem- St. Philip's is tiny. Reeeeeeally tiny. Like, we have to have 3 servicies on Christmas Eve and even then we are all still packed like sardines tiny. There is no way that all of our guests will fit in there comfortably, let alone all our guests plus the congregation members. Buuuuuuuuut, here's where it all gets better! The church my grandma is a member at, St. Stephen's in Wilmington, is the church that both of our families used to be members at- it's where we originally met. My grandparents and parents were married in that church, and it's where both Brian and I were baptized. My grandfather, who died in Febuary of 2008, was a longtime faithful member, serving in all ways he could. It was his wish for his grandchildren to be married there, and having the ceremony there would be a great honor. The sanctuary itself is large enough to hold 250-300, and is gorgeous (think gothic cathedral, high church). We called the pastor there, and they graciously are letting us say our vows there, for free! Brian and I can't wait to worship together there on our wedding day. For us, the ceremony is the important part- pledging ourselves to each other and to God, while worshipping and thanking Him for all the wonders we have in our lives.
Since I have no qualms about talking bridal budgets here (who knows when some other lovely lady might need some budget advice), Brian and I came to the conclusion that $15,000 would be a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding for us. I know, it seems like quite a bit for a "frugal" wedding. But in the Tri-State area, nothing comes cheap, and weddings are no exception. We worked our budget out, and set our goals for each category, knowing full well it would take work on both parts.
We set the guest list at 125- not too big, not too small. I come from a freakin' hugomongous family on both my mom and dad's side, so having this number will help to cover all our bases. Note to planning brides: Make sure you set a number you are comfortable with. Remember that in the end, there will be no's, but don't plan for more than you can afford. You do not want to be in debt for the start of the rest of your lives together. So if your fiance's dear second cousin's great aunt has to be cut from the guest list, don't be upset- it happens to everyone.
Brian and I also made the decision to invite all the members of our congregation of our home church to the ceremony. For those who think this is not kosher, keep in mind that we cannot pay for everyone to be at the reception, and also please remember that in a close-knit faith family, this is actually very common- especially when the people getting married are both members, and both very active. We wanted to extend the invitation to the ceremony to all members at St. Philip's, as all of them have been extremely supportive of Brian and I. We will probably invite via the bulletin (the Sunday morning pamphlet), and the monthly newsletter (and yes, our pastor is supportive of this).
The first step was the ceremony site. Both Brian and I are members at St. Philip's (see post below), and we knew we wanted our pastor, Patrick, to marry us. Patrick has been an integral part of helping us get to where we are in our relationship, so that one was a no-brainer. But there's a small, eensy teensy problem- St. Philip's is tiny. Reeeeeeally tiny. Like, we have to have 3 servicies on Christmas Eve and even then we are all still packed like sardines tiny. There is no way that all of our guests will fit in there comfortably, let alone all our guests plus the congregation members. Buuuuuuuuut, here's where it all gets better! The church my grandma is a member at, St. Stephen's in Wilmington, is the church that both of our families used to be members at- it's where we originally met. My grandparents and parents were married in that church, and it's where both Brian and I were baptized. My grandfather, who died in Febuary of 2008, was a longtime faithful member, serving in all ways he could. It was his wish for his grandchildren to be married there, and having the ceremony there would be a great honor. The sanctuary itself is large enough to hold 250-300, and is gorgeous (think gothic cathedral, high church). We called the pastor there, and they graciously are letting us say our vows there, for free! Brian and I can't wait to worship together there on our wedding day. For us, the ceremony is the important part- pledging ourselves to each other and to God, while worshipping and thanking Him for all the wonders we have in our lives.
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