When Brian and I got engaged, we knew that money would be tight for the wedding. We knew that we would be contributing quite a bit ourselves, in addition to whatever our parents graciously gave us. We knew it would not be easy, but we were up for a challenge from day one- after all, we have faced many in our relationship already, and they have always strengthened our love. Why not add one, albeit fun, challenge to the mix?
Since I have no qualms about talking bridal budgets here (who knows when some other lovely lady might need some budget advice), Brian and I came to the conclusion that $15,000 would be a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding for us. I know, it seems like quite a bit for a "frugal" wedding. But in the Tri-State area, nothing comes cheap, and weddings are no exception. We worked our budget out, and set our goals for each category, knowing full well it would take work on both parts.
We set the guest list at 125- not too big, not too small. I come from a freakin' hugomongous family on both my mom and dad's side, so having this number will help to cover all our bases. Note to planning brides: Make sure you set a number you are comfortable with. Remember that in the end, there will be no's, but don't plan for more than you can afford. You do not want to be in debt for the start of the rest of your lives together. So if your fiance's dear second cousin's great aunt has to be cut from the guest list, don't be upset- it happens to everyone.
Brian and I also made the decision to invite all the members of our congregation of our home church to the ceremony. For those who think this is not kosher, keep in mind that we cannot pay for everyone to be at the reception, and also please remember that in a close-knit faith family, this is actually very common- especially when the people getting married are both members, and both very active. We wanted to extend the invitation to the ceremony to all members at St. Philip's, as all of them have been extremely supportive of Brian and I. We will probably invite via the bulletin (the Sunday morning pamphlet), and the monthly newsletter (and yes, our pastor is supportive of this).
The first step was the ceremony site. Both Brian and I are members at St. Philip's (see post below), and we knew we wanted our pastor, Patrick, to marry us. Patrick has been an integral part of helping us get to where we are in our relationship, so that one was a no-brainer. But there's a small, eensy teensy problem- St. Philip's is tiny. Reeeeeeally tiny. Like, we have to have 3 servicies on Christmas Eve and even then we are all still packed like sardines tiny. There is no way that all of our guests will fit in there comfortably, let alone all our guests plus the congregation members. Buuuuuuuuut, here's where it all gets better! The church my grandma is a member at, St. Stephen's in Wilmington, is the church that both of our families used to be members at- it's where we originally met. My grandparents and parents were married in that church, and it's where both Brian and I were baptized. My grandfather, who died in Febuary of 2008, was a longtime faithful member, serving in all ways he could. It was his wish for his grandchildren to be married there, and having the ceremony there would be a great honor. The sanctuary itself is large enough to hold 250-300, and is gorgeous (think gothic cathedral, high church). We called the pastor there, and they graciously are letting us say our vows there, for free! Brian and I can't wait to worship together there on our wedding day. For us, the ceremony is the important part- pledging ourselves to each other and to God, while worshipping and thanking Him for all the wonders we have in our lives.
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