Brian and I decided to get married on October 2, 2010.
There were several reasons for this decisions, and I rather like having you the way you are- I won't kill you with all the details. The main ones, though, are that Brian wanted a fall wedding, booking in 2009 was nigh impossible (unless we wanted a Thursday), and if we booked this far out, not only would we have picks of vendors, but we would get decent pricing. So far, it's worked out great in our favor- granted, I get ants in my pants every once in a while, and then the Baby Mrs. has to act as both officiant and witness, but other than that, we are happy with the decision.
Both of us have much going on in our lives right now- we are in the process of trying to buy our first home (eek!), Brian is halfway done with his degree, and me...well, with the health issues I have, getting through the day is a success, let alone getting through wedding planning in a short time span!
For those of you who don't know, I have a pain disorder. It's called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS). This crippling disorder is a malfunction of the CNS, and as a result of that malfunction, the pain receptors in the spine get "stuck" in the "on" position. In other words, the nerves are damaged, and they (along with the CNS) think that there is cause for pain, when there really isn't. No, I am not making it up in my head.
This happens when the body experiences a usually minor injury; in my case, I sprained my ankle at work. Xrays showed no damage, so 12 weeks later, when it was still swollen and hurting, I went to see the podiatrist. He was the one who told me I had RSD, to which I responded, R-S- What? At this point, the symptoms can include swelling, hair/nail growth changes, mottling of the skin, and severe pain (usually caused by a "trigger", ie something that sets off the pain cycle. In my case, it's rushing water, cold air/breezes, touch, and rubbing cloth).
At this point, we start the journey of the next 2.5 years- which included 3 doctors, 16 Left Lumbar Sympathetic Nerve Block Injections (yes, they are as bad as they sound), 1 wheelchair, 2 canes, 3 rounds of PT, and many different meds, including pain and CNS ones. In September of 2008, the pain specialist that I had been seeing finally told me that she could do no more for me, and referred me to a Pain Surgeron at Lankenau Hospital in PA. There, I was evaluated for a Spinal Cord Stimulator, a device where electro-leads are placed in your epidural space of your spine, a battery is implanted in your buttock or stomach, and electrical impulses are sent through your spine. The result is the pain signals being blocked, and instead of the crippling effects of the pain, the patient feels a tingly, warm sensation. The surgery is done in two parts: the first is a trial, with the battery being outside your body, and the second is the permanent surgery.
The pros and cons were presented to me, and I spent many days researching the SCS, and many nights praying to God to guide me to the right decision. At the beginning of November 2008, I underwent the trial phase. It was wonderful, magical, spectacular. I was able to do things I hadn't done in over a year- walk the mall, sleep through the night, not take medication for the pain. The trial was a success.
Now the story gets sticky. See, all of this is a result of a worker's comp accident. We are currently in the process of suing my former employer for this surgery to take place. It's a very expensive surgery, and they are fighting us on all of my medical treatment for the disease- they claim the RSD is not a result of the initial injury (even though oh, 8 doctors disagree!). Because of this, almost 9 months later, I am still waiting for the approval for the permanent surgery, either through the court or through settlement.
Through all of this, Brian has been my personal blessing. You have to realize, he has never known me not sick. He has never seen me without this disease. And yet, through the wonders of the Lord and of the heart, he has dedicated his life to me, as I have to him. Through it all, he has remained steadfast and true, something that I no longer take for granted in a man. I often lay awake at night and say prayers of thanksgiving for the amazing, awe-inspiring gift that is Brian. Never has he given up the fight for me to get better, and he is my will and my guiding light in all of this.
So, because of all of that, the foremost reason we decided to have a lengthy engagement? Because I swear, that on my wedding day, I will walk down the aisle to the man that is my love and my everything, pain free and happy. In order for that to happen, I have to have the surgery. We then must leave time to fight and get the approval, have the surgery, and recover- not a short timespan, by any means. Brian, who has never known me without pain, will marry me while I shed tears of happiness and joy, and will not doubt that they are just that.
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