Recently, Brian got fed up with the way our society works, in regards to disabled folks. When you are engaged to one, discriminatory events and things open your eyes to how disabled people are truly treated. And when Brian gets upset, he becomes active about it. It's one of the reasons I am so blessed to have him. Instead of doing nothing, or complaining (which I will admit, I have a tendency to do), or blaming, he becomes active and sets out to change, whether it be laws, viewpoints, or whatever he can affect. His activist mindset is one thing that attracts me to him, and I am hoping that being around him will change me for the better. There are so many things he does that I can only hope to strive towards, and I am so lucky to have him, and his love- there are times I definitely do not deserve it.
Back on track, when certain events happened that Brian could not ignore any longer, he decided to do something about it. What did he do? He started a Twitter, specifically for cataloging events, locations, people and places that have an impact, positively or negatively, big or small, on the disabled community- mostly in Delaware, but other places we go as well. I am so proud of him! Without doing much, he already has 30+ followers, and it's not been that long at all.
If you want to follow him, head to http://twitter.com/handicappedDE. Feel free to follow him on there. I am so proud, so blessed, so in love with the man that I am pledging my life to, and I couldn't be more happier that God sent him to me. I am so thankful, in so many ways, for him.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Receptions halls and centerpieces and linens, OH MY!
I know, it's been a while. Things have been really busy, and when I have free time during the day, I either am sleeping or in too much pain to update. Expect several updates today (though I don't know why, but I hate doing two posts in one day...weird, I know. But I will do several to keep everyone updated :)).
So, let me finish the story of saving some moolah. Let me first explain a key point here:
1. Brian and I had decided that we wanted a beer/wine reception. While money did play a teensy role in this decision, it more so came from the fact that we both have, ahem, certain people in both our families that like to imbibe quite a bit. We figured that with a beer/wine reception, it would be easier to police these family members- plus most of them have an affinity for hard liquor, anyway.
2. We wanted an all inclusive venue. We didn't want to have to get a hall, then get the tables, chairs, china, silverware, glassware, linens, and well, you get the point. I am not saying it's a bad idea, and you could definitely save some money on things if you are willing to haggle, but for us, with everything that is going on, meeting with extraneous vendors was not that appealing. So, to save time and hassle (which is just as important as money!), we decided we wanted a venue that had everything: Linens and catering, glassware and chairs.
After booking the ceremony site, next came the reception site. Where do you start looking for one when you have never done this, and live in Delaware? The Hotel du Pont and du Pont Country Club, of course. Brian's dad is a member still at DCC, so we thought, okay, definitely maybe. So I called. And when both venues told me that their minimum was $18k (that's $3k more than the entire budget, let alone the amount for the reception), I nearly had a heart attack/fainted/screamed until I was blue in the face. I mean, come on, we are in the middle of a recession, and they expect people to have that kind of money- just for the food?? Ummm, no. And someone needs to inform them of that. But that's not the kicker. Nooooo. The kicker was when they told me that I had to have an open bar. Remember that little tidbit at the top? First off, we don't want open bar. Second, don't tell me what I have to have at my wedding. It's my wedding! So needless to say, they got nixed- along with Deerfield, Hartefeld, and the Christiana Hilton, all of whom had minimums as well.
At this point, we decided to attend a couple of bridal shows- get a feel for a couple venues, and see where things go from there. We nixed the Embassy Suites in Newark, the Waterfall Banquet Center in Claymont, and all of the country clubs around here. We had some good leads, so I started making the calls. The Farmhouse, The Stone Barn, The Crystal Ballroom, Mendenhall Inn. And one by one, all got crossed off. The Farmhouse, while so lovely and the perfect setting, could not accommodate our guest list, and they couldn't give me pricing for 2010- I realize we are a bit away, but if I am going to book with you, I at least need an educated guess. The Stone Barn would have been absolutely perfect (it's actually recommended by friends from high school, who are getting married 1 year to the day before us!) if we didn't have to bring in our own bartender and alcohol (remember, all inclusive here!). The Crystal Ballroom was just a little too pricey, as was Mendenhall Inn.
Sigh. We are getting no where, as you can see. Then my mother (God bless her) has a brainstorm. What about the place I had my senior prom at, The Red Clay Room in Kennett Square? Wow, Mom, you are on the ball! So I looked into it...hey, wait a minute. What's this link down near the bottom- they have a place in DE? Where is this place? Executive Banquet and Conference Center. Okay, add it to the list.
So I gave them a call, and they emailed me the package and pricing. Wow, this place is looking better and better! Centerpieces are included- okay, most places do that. Wedding Cake (from Cakes by Kim) included as well- getting better. Hey, colored linens! Boy oh boy- most places only do white or ivory! And it's a 5 hour reception with a 5 hour bar, versus a 4 hour reception with a 3 hour bar...this place is looking better and better! Hmm, their pricing is not bad- about the same as the Chrystal Center. Is it worth it, and where the devil is this place??? Oh, okay, down in Newark! Not bad...
So we (my mom, Brian, and I) decide to tour the place- why not? We head on down towards Newark, and I finally get to see where this place is actually situated. It's on Route 896. At the stoplight before Route 40 (across from Siemens), turn right into the Industrial Park. Take the first left, then the first left into the parking lot. Okay, not the most ideal location- no gardens around, but it's not like it's in the back of the industrial park. It's right in the front on the corner. We park- the parking lot is nice and big, which is a plus (Hotel du Pont is in the city, with no parking!). We walk inside, and the entrance (which has a covered turnaround leading up to the doors) is nice and bright. This place isn't bad! The carpet isn't hideous, there's no gaudy wallpaper, and the decorations and lighting are simple with clean lines- right up our alley. Definitely doesn't overstimulate the senses. We meet Brad, the manager, and start the tour. The lobby is where we will have the cocktail hour, and it's nice and big and airy. The bar is in the corner, with a window to the lobby and one to the ballroom. We walk around more, and this place is really looking nice. There's a galley between the ballroom and the kitchen, so we don't hear any clanging. The bridal suite is nice, with it's own bathroom. Oh, and did I mention that the bar has 8 beers on tap, with 6-8 wines offered? I can't believe this, it's awesome! So we asked for a contract, and talk it over as we leave. The consensus was clear- this place was the best so far.
I get home, and can think of more questions to ask Brad. And it gets better and better. $8 off for a beer and wine reception. $10 kids meal of chicken fingers and fries (versus the $45 chicken fingers at Deerfield!). State of the art sound and AV equipment, with the definite ability to do PowerPoint slide shows and all that jazz- they even have their own speaker system, so the DJ doesn't have to drag theirs in. Oh, and they are having cameras installed, so that not only will guests be able to watch on the big screen when we arrive, they won't have to jostle for a view of cutting the cake, and it's all recorded on a DVD for us to go home with. Wow. This place is it. No doubt about it. We ask him for a contract for October 9, 2010.
Wait. The wedding is October 2, 2010, right? Correct. This is where they sold us. They made a mistake- they double booked the 9th, and the other couple got their deposit in first. Within the hour of realizing this mistake, we had 2 emails and a phone call, apologizing and offering to fix it anyway we wanted. Ice sculpture with dessert bar, etc etc. We decided to take the 10% discount offered for Fridays and Sundays, and apply that to our Saturday wedding, which we moved up a week- we weren't real picky on the date to begin with. But the discount wasn't what did it for us- it was the apologies, and the sincere effort to fix their mistake. We had a venue!
So, let me finish the story of saving some moolah. Let me first explain a key point here:
1. Brian and I had decided that we wanted a beer/wine reception. While money did play a teensy role in this decision, it more so came from the fact that we both have, ahem, certain people in both our families that like to imbibe quite a bit. We figured that with a beer/wine reception, it would be easier to police these family members- plus most of them have an affinity for hard liquor, anyway.
2. We wanted an all inclusive venue. We didn't want to have to get a hall, then get the tables, chairs, china, silverware, glassware, linens, and well, you get the point. I am not saying it's a bad idea, and you could definitely save some money on things if you are willing to haggle, but for us, with everything that is going on, meeting with extraneous vendors was not that appealing. So, to save time and hassle (which is just as important as money!), we decided we wanted a venue that had everything: Linens and catering, glassware and chairs.
After booking the ceremony site, next came the reception site. Where do you start looking for one when you have never done this, and live in Delaware? The Hotel du Pont and du Pont Country Club, of course. Brian's dad is a member still at DCC, so we thought, okay, definitely maybe. So I called. And when both venues told me that their minimum was $18k (that's $3k more than the entire budget, let alone the amount for the reception), I nearly had a heart attack/fainted/screamed until I was blue in the face. I mean, come on, we are in the middle of a recession, and they expect people to have that kind of money- just for the food?? Ummm, no. And someone needs to inform them of that. But that's not the kicker. Nooooo. The kicker was when they told me that I had to have an open bar. Remember that little tidbit at the top? First off, we don't want open bar. Second, don't tell me what I have to have at my wedding. It's my wedding! So needless to say, they got nixed- along with Deerfield, Hartefeld, and the Christiana Hilton, all of whom had minimums as well.
At this point, we decided to attend a couple of bridal shows- get a feel for a couple venues, and see where things go from there. We nixed the Embassy Suites in Newark, the Waterfall Banquet Center in Claymont, and all of the country clubs around here. We had some good leads, so I started making the calls. The Farmhouse, The Stone Barn, The Crystal Ballroom, Mendenhall Inn. And one by one, all got crossed off. The Farmhouse, while so lovely and the perfect setting, could not accommodate our guest list, and they couldn't give me pricing for 2010- I realize we are a bit away, but if I am going to book with you, I at least need an educated guess. The Stone Barn would have been absolutely perfect (it's actually recommended by friends from high school, who are getting married 1 year to the day before us!) if we didn't have to bring in our own bartender and alcohol (remember, all inclusive here!). The Crystal Ballroom was just a little too pricey, as was Mendenhall Inn.
Sigh. We are getting no where, as you can see. Then my mother (God bless her) has a brainstorm. What about the place I had my senior prom at, The Red Clay Room in Kennett Square? Wow, Mom, you are on the ball! So I looked into it...hey, wait a minute. What's this link down near the bottom- they have a place in DE? Where is this place? Executive Banquet and Conference Center. Okay, add it to the list.
So I gave them a call, and they emailed me the package and pricing. Wow, this place is looking better and better! Centerpieces are included- okay, most places do that. Wedding Cake (from Cakes by Kim) included as well- getting better. Hey, colored linens! Boy oh boy- most places only do white or ivory! And it's a 5 hour reception with a 5 hour bar, versus a 4 hour reception with a 3 hour bar...this place is looking better and better! Hmm, their pricing is not bad- about the same as the Chrystal Center. Is it worth it, and where the devil is this place??? Oh, okay, down in Newark! Not bad...
So we (my mom, Brian, and I) decide to tour the place- why not? We head on down towards Newark, and I finally get to see where this place is actually situated. It's on Route 896. At the stoplight before Route 40 (across from Siemens), turn right into the Industrial Park. Take the first left, then the first left into the parking lot. Okay, not the most ideal location- no gardens around, but it's not like it's in the back of the industrial park. It's right in the front on the corner. We park- the parking lot is nice and big, which is a plus (Hotel du Pont is in the city, with no parking!). We walk inside, and the entrance (which has a covered turnaround leading up to the doors) is nice and bright. This place isn't bad! The carpet isn't hideous, there's no gaudy wallpaper, and the decorations and lighting are simple with clean lines- right up our alley. Definitely doesn't overstimulate the senses. We meet Brad, the manager, and start the tour. The lobby is where we will have the cocktail hour, and it's nice and big and airy. The bar is in the corner, with a window to the lobby and one to the ballroom. We walk around more, and this place is really looking nice. There's a galley between the ballroom and the kitchen, so we don't hear any clanging. The bridal suite is nice, with it's own bathroom. Oh, and did I mention that the bar has 8 beers on tap, with 6-8 wines offered? I can't believe this, it's awesome! So we asked for a contract, and talk it over as we leave. The consensus was clear- this place was the best so far.
I get home, and can think of more questions to ask Brad. And it gets better and better. $8 off for a beer and wine reception. $10 kids meal of chicken fingers and fries (versus the $45 chicken fingers at Deerfield!). State of the art sound and AV equipment, with the definite ability to do PowerPoint slide shows and all that jazz- they even have their own speaker system, so the DJ doesn't have to drag theirs in. Oh, and they are having cameras installed, so that not only will guests be able to watch on the big screen when we arrive, they won't have to jostle for a view of cutting the cake, and it's all recorded on a DVD for us to go home with. Wow. This place is it. No doubt about it. We ask him for a contract for October 9, 2010.
Wait. The wedding is October 2, 2010, right? Correct. This is where they sold us. They made a mistake- they double booked the 9th, and the other couple got their deposit in first. Within the hour of realizing this mistake, we had 2 emails and a phone call, apologizing and offering to fix it anyway we wanted. Ice sculpture with dessert bar, etc etc. We decided to take the 10% discount offered for Fridays and Sundays, and apply that to our Saturday wedding, which we moved up a week- we weren't real picky on the date to begin with. But the discount wasn't what did it for us- it was the apologies, and the sincere effort to fix their mistake. We had a venue!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
A Bride on a Budget
When Brian and I got engaged, we knew that money would be tight for the wedding. We knew that we would be contributing quite a bit ourselves, in addition to whatever our parents graciously gave us. We knew it would not be easy, but we were up for a challenge from day one- after all, we have faced many in our relationship already, and they have always strengthened our love. Why not add one, albeit fun, challenge to the mix?
Since I have no qualms about talking bridal budgets here (who knows when some other lovely lady might need some budget advice), Brian and I came to the conclusion that $15,000 would be a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding for us. I know, it seems like quite a bit for a "frugal" wedding. But in the Tri-State area, nothing comes cheap, and weddings are no exception. We worked our budget out, and set our goals for each category, knowing full well it would take work on both parts.
We set the guest list at 125- not too big, not too small. I come from a freakin' hugomongous family on both my mom and dad's side, so having this number will help to cover all our bases. Note to planning brides: Make sure you set a number you are comfortable with. Remember that in the end, there will be no's, but don't plan for more than you can afford. You do not want to be in debt for the start of the rest of your lives together. So if your fiance's dear second cousin's great aunt has to be cut from the guest list, don't be upset- it happens to everyone.
Brian and I also made the decision to invite all the members of our congregation of our home church to the ceremony. For those who think this is not kosher, keep in mind that we cannot pay for everyone to be at the reception, and also please remember that in a close-knit faith family, this is actually very common- especially when the people getting married are both members, and both very active. We wanted to extend the invitation to the ceremony to all members at St. Philip's, as all of them have been extremely supportive of Brian and I. We will probably invite via the bulletin (the Sunday morning pamphlet), and the monthly newsletter (and yes, our pastor is supportive of this).
The first step was the ceremony site. Both Brian and I are members at St. Philip's (see post below), and we knew we wanted our pastor, Patrick, to marry us. Patrick has been an integral part of helping us get to where we are in our relationship, so that one was a no-brainer. But there's a small, eensy teensy problem- St. Philip's is tiny. Reeeeeeally tiny. Like, we have to have 3 servicies on Christmas Eve and even then we are all still packed like sardines tiny. There is no way that all of our guests will fit in there comfortably, let alone all our guests plus the congregation members. Buuuuuuuuut, here's where it all gets better! The church my grandma is a member at, St. Stephen's in Wilmington, is the church that both of our families used to be members at- it's where we originally met. My grandparents and parents were married in that church, and it's where both Brian and I were baptized. My grandfather, who died in Febuary of 2008, was a longtime faithful member, serving in all ways he could. It was his wish for his grandchildren to be married there, and having the ceremony there would be a great honor. The sanctuary itself is large enough to hold 250-300, and is gorgeous (think gothic cathedral, high church). We called the pastor there, and they graciously are letting us say our vows there, for free! Brian and I can't wait to worship together there on our wedding day. For us, the ceremony is the important part- pledging ourselves to each other and to God, while worshipping and thanking Him for all the wonders we have in our lives.
Since I have no qualms about talking bridal budgets here (who knows when some other lovely lady might need some budget advice), Brian and I came to the conclusion that $15,000 would be a reasonable amount to spend on a wedding for us. I know, it seems like quite a bit for a "frugal" wedding. But in the Tri-State area, nothing comes cheap, and weddings are no exception. We worked our budget out, and set our goals for each category, knowing full well it would take work on both parts.
We set the guest list at 125- not too big, not too small. I come from a freakin' hugomongous family on both my mom and dad's side, so having this number will help to cover all our bases. Note to planning brides: Make sure you set a number you are comfortable with. Remember that in the end, there will be no's, but don't plan for more than you can afford. You do not want to be in debt for the start of the rest of your lives together. So if your fiance's dear second cousin's great aunt has to be cut from the guest list, don't be upset- it happens to everyone.
Brian and I also made the decision to invite all the members of our congregation of our home church to the ceremony. For those who think this is not kosher, keep in mind that we cannot pay for everyone to be at the reception, and also please remember that in a close-knit faith family, this is actually very common- especially when the people getting married are both members, and both very active. We wanted to extend the invitation to the ceremony to all members at St. Philip's, as all of them have been extremely supportive of Brian and I. We will probably invite via the bulletin (the Sunday morning pamphlet), and the monthly newsletter (and yes, our pastor is supportive of this).
The first step was the ceremony site. Both Brian and I are members at St. Philip's (see post below), and we knew we wanted our pastor, Patrick, to marry us. Patrick has been an integral part of helping us get to where we are in our relationship, so that one was a no-brainer. But there's a small, eensy teensy problem- St. Philip's is tiny. Reeeeeeally tiny. Like, we have to have 3 servicies on Christmas Eve and even then we are all still packed like sardines tiny. There is no way that all of our guests will fit in there comfortably, let alone all our guests plus the congregation members. Buuuuuuuuut, here's where it all gets better! The church my grandma is a member at, St. Stephen's in Wilmington, is the church that both of our families used to be members at- it's where we originally met. My grandparents and parents were married in that church, and it's where both Brian and I were baptized. My grandfather, who died in Febuary of 2008, was a longtime faithful member, serving in all ways he could. It was his wish for his grandchildren to be married there, and having the ceremony there would be a great honor. The sanctuary itself is large enough to hold 250-300, and is gorgeous (think gothic cathedral, high church). We called the pastor there, and they graciously are letting us say our vows there, for free! Brian and I can't wait to worship together there on our wedding day. For us, the ceremony is the important part- pledging ourselves to each other and to God, while worshipping and thanking Him for all the wonders we have in our lives.
Monday, June 8, 2009
I will do my best
Brian and I are active in many different organizations together; it's how we like to spend our time together.
We very active with our Church, St. Philip's Lutheran in Wilmington (AWESOME church- if you are looking for a church home, you definitely need to stop by on a Sunday at 8 am or 10:30 am for worship!). Both Brian and I are youth group leaders for the middle and high school youth- it's a passion of ours, spending time making a difference in these kids' lives. Now, when they are adolescents, is the time that their faith needs not only to be planted, but nurtured as well. These kids are NOT the future of the church; they ARE the church! This is the time in their lives when they are the most vulnerable, and having a safe place where they are cared about, and their faith belief system is reinforced, is essential to their present and their future. In addition to being youth leaders together, Brian teaches the high school boys' Sunday School class. It an innovated design, where they take the Bible lessons from that time period, study them, and then incorporate them into a carpentry design. They have studied Exodus and Moses, and built a replica of the Ark of the Covenant as a result, including all of the belongings inside. They studied Mary and Joseph in the Gospels, and then proceeded to build a manger for use during the Christmas Eve Pagant. Then, for Lent, they studied Peter, and build 150 puzzle crosses (5 pieces in each cross; one for each week in Lent) to give as gifts to each family in the congregation on Easter. They had only 5 left over at the end of the day! It's amazing to be an integral part of these youth's lives, and to watch their faith take firm root and flourish.
Also, Brian and I are active in the Boy Scouts- more specifically, the Venturing aspect of it. If you don't know what Venturing is, here's a quick synopsis: It's the co-ed (yes, GIRLS are allowed in Venturing!) program for youth up to the age of 21, that is geared towards a "focus", and that focus can be anything the Crew (the unit that the youth belong to) decides it wants to be. It's very youth led, as the rest of BSA is. Just so you know, the whole reason I got pulled into this whole gig is Brian's family is HUGE into Scouting- Brian has his Eagle, his brother is working on his, and his parents have been active since Brian started as a 1st grader (the youngest you can start). Brian and I currently volunteer on the District Committee (the level above the crews/troops), trying to implement more Crews in the area- the Eastern Shore is not known for having much Venturing activity, and Brian and I believe that it's time to change that. At the same time, we are trying to get a Crew at St. Philip's up and running; so if you are a girl or guy under 21, and want to really have some fun (ropes courses and white water rafting, anyone?), feel free to contact us for more info on meetings and such!
Before I got really sick, we liked to go rock climbing together- well, more I sat there and watched after climbing once, but it's a bunch of fun. Also, we are really into watching TV series- specifically The Duggars (it's a weird fascination of mine), and Big Love (oh em gee, love that show!).
We very active with our Church, St. Philip's Lutheran in Wilmington (AWESOME church- if you are looking for a church home, you definitely need to stop by on a Sunday at 8 am or 10:30 am for worship!). Both Brian and I are youth group leaders for the middle and high school youth- it's a passion of ours, spending time making a difference in these kids' lives. Now, when they are adolescents, is the time that their faith needs not only to be planted, but nurtured as well. These kids are NOT the future of the church; they ARE the church! This is the time in their lives when they are the most vulnerable, and having a safe place where they are cared about, and their faith belief system is reinforced, is essential to their present and their future. In addition to being youth leaders together, Brian teaches the high school boys' Sunday School class. It an innovated design, where they take the Bible lessons from that time period, study them, and then incorporate them into a carpentry design. They have studied Exodus and Moses, and built a replica of the Ark of the Covenant as a result, including all of the belongings inside. They studied Mary and Joseph in the Gospels, and then proceeded to build a manger for use during the Christmas Eve Pagant. Then, for Lent, they studied Peter, and build 150 puzzle crosses (5 pieces in each cross; one for each week in Lent) to give as gifts to each family in the congregation on Easter. They had only 5 left over at the end of the day! It's amazing to be an integral part of these youth's lives, and to watch their faith take firm root and flourish.
Also, Brian and I are active in the Boy Scouts- more specifically, the Venturing aspect of it. If you don't know what Venturing is, here's a quick synopsis: It's the co-ed (yes, GIRLS are allowed in Venturing!) program for youth up to the age of 21, that is geared towards a "focus", and that focus can be anything the Crew (the unit that the youth belong to) decides it wants to be. It's very youth led, as the rest of BSA is. Just so you know, the whole reason I got pulled into this whole gig is Brian's family is HUGE into Scouting- Brian has his Eagle, his brother is working on his, and his parents have been active since Brian started as a 1st grader (the youngest you can start). Brian and I currently volunteer on the District Committee (the level above the crews/troops), trying to implement more Crews in the area- the Eastern Shore is not known for having much Venturing activity, and Brian and I believe that it's time to change that. At the same time, we are trying to get a Crew at St. Philip's up and running; so if you are a girl or guy under 21, and want to really have some fun (ropes courses and white water rafting, anyone?), feel free to contact us for more info on meetings and such!
Before I got really sick, we liked to go rock climbing together- well, more I sat there and watched after climbing once, but it's a bunch of fun. Also, we are really into watching TV series- specifically The Duggars (it's a weird fascination of mine), and Big Love (oh em gee, love that show!).
Sunday, June 7, 2009
When I walk down the aisle...
Brian and I decided to get married on October 2, 2010.
There were several reasons for this decisions, and I rather like having you the way you are- I won't kill you with all the details. The main ones, though, are that Brian wanted a fall wedding, booking in 2009 was nigh impossible (unless we wanted a Thursday), and if we booked this far out, not only would we have picks of vendors, but we would get decent pricing. So far, it's worked out great in our favor- granted, I get ants in my pants every once in a while, and then the Baby Mrs. has to act as both officiant and witness, but other than that, we are happy with the decision.
Both of us have much going on in our lives right now- we are in the process of trying to buy our first home (eek!), Brian is halfway done with his degree, and me...well, with the health issues I have, getting through the day is a success, let alone getting through wedding planning in a short time span!
For those of you who don't know, I have a pain disorder. It's called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS). This crippling disorder is a malfunction of the CNS, and as a result of that malfunction, the pain receptors in the spine get "stuck" in the "on" position. In other words, the nerves are damaged, and they (along with the CNS) think that there is cause for pain, when there really isn't. No, I am not making it up in my head.
This happens when the body experiences a usually minor injury; in my case, I sprained my ankle at work. Xrays showed no damage, so 12 weeks later, when it was still swollen and hurting, I went to see the podiatrist. He was the one who told me I had RSD, to which I responded, R-S- What? At this point, the symptoms can include swelling, hair/nail growth changes, mottling of the skin, and severe pain (usually caused by a "trigger", ie something that sets off the pain cycle. In my case, it's rushing water, cold air/breezes, touch, and rubbing cloth).
At this point, we start the journey of the next 2.5 years- which included 3 doctors, 16 Left Lumbar Sympathetic Nerve Block Injections (yes, they are as bad as they sound), 1 wheelchair, 2 canes, 3 rounds of PT, and many different meds, including pain and CNS ones. In September of 2008, the pain specialist that I had been seeing finally told me that she could do no more for me, and referred me to a Pain Surgeron at Lankenau Hospital in PA. There, I was evaluated for a Spinal Cord Stimulator, a device where electro-leads are placed in your epidural space of your spine, a battery is implanted in your buttock or stomach, and electrical impulses are sent through your spine. The result is the pain signals being blocked, and instead of the crippling effects of the pain, the patient feels a tingly, warm sensation. The surgery is done in two parts: the first is a trial, with the battery being outside your body, and the second is the permanent surgery.
The pros and cons were presented to me, and I spent many days researching the SCS, and many nights praying to God to guide me to the right decision. At the beginning of November 2008, I underwent the trial phase. It was wonderful, magical, spectacular. I was able to do things I hadn't done in over a year- walk the mall, sleep through the night, not take medication for the pain. The trial was a success.
Now the story gets sticky. See, all of this is a result of a worker's comp accident. We are currently in the process of suing my former employer for this surgery to take place. It's a very expensive surgery, and they are fighting us on all of my medical treatment for the disease- they claim the RSD is not a result of the initial injury (even though oh, 8 doctors disagree!). Because of this, almost 9 months later, I am still waiting for the approval for the permanent surgery, either through the court or through settlement.
Through all of this, Brian has been my personal blessing. You have to realize, he has never known me not sick. He has never seen me without this disease. And yet, through the wonders of the Lord and of the heart, he has dedicated his life to me, as I have to him. Through it all, he has remained steadfast and true, something that I no longer take for granted in a man. I often lay awake at night and say prayers of thanksgiving for the amazing, awe-inspiring gift that is Brian. Never has he given up the fight for me to get better, and he is my will and my guiding light in all of this.
So, because of all of that, the foremost reason we decided to have a lengthy engagement? Because I swear, that on my wedding day, I will walk down the aisle to the man that is my love and my everything, pain free and happy. In order for that to happen, I have to have the surgery. We then must leave time to fight and get the approval, have the surgery, and recover- not a short timespan, by any means. Brian, who has never known me without pain, will marry me while I shed tears of happiness and joy, and will not doubt that they are just that.
There were several reasons for this decisions, and I rather like having you the way you are- I won't kill you with all the details. The main ones, though, are that Brian wanted a fall wedding, booking in 2009 was nigh impossible (unless we wanted a Thursday), and if we booked this far out, not only would we have picks of vendors, but we would get decent pricing. So far, it's worked out great in our favor- granted, I get ants in my pants every once in a while, and then the Baby Mrs. has to act as both officiant and witness, but other than that, we are happy with the decision.
Both of us have much going on in our lives right now- we are in the process of trying to buy our first home (eek!), Brian is halfway done with his degree, and me...well, with the health issues I have, getting through the day is a success, let alone getting through wedding planning in a short time span!
For those of you who don't know, I have a pain disorder. It's called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS). This crippling disorder is a malfunction of the CNS, and as a result of that malfunction, the pain receptors in the spine get "stuck" in the "on" position. In other words, the nerves are damaged, and they (along with the CNS) think that there is cause for pain, when there really isn't. No, I am not making it up in my head.
This happens when the body experiences a usually minor injury; in my case, I sprained my ankle at work. Xrays showed no damage, so 12 weeks later, when it was still swollen and hurting, I went to see the podiatrist. He was the one who told me I had RSD, to which I responded, R-S- What? At this point, the symptoms can include swelling, hair/nail growth changes, mottling of the skin, and severe pain (usually caused by a "trigger", ie something that sets off the pain cycle. In my case, it's rushing water, cold air/breezes, touch, and rubbing cloth).
At this point, we start the journey of the next 2.5 years- which included 3 doctors, 16 Left Lumbar Sympathetic Nerve Block Injections (yes, they are as bad as they sound), 1 wheelchair, 2 canes, 3 rounds of PT, and many different meds, including pain and CNS ones. In September of 2008, the pain specialist that I had been seeing finally told me that she could do no more for me, and referred me to a Pain Surgeron at Lankenau Hospital in PA. There, I was evaluated for a Spinal Cord Stimulator, a device where electro-leads are placed in your epidural space of your spine, a battery is implanted in your buttock or stomach, and electrical impulses are sent through your spine. The result is the pain signals being blocked, and instead of the crippling effects of the pain, the patient feels a tingly, warm sensation. The surgery is done in two parts: the first is a trial, with the battery being outside your body, and the second is the permanent surgery.
The pros and cons were presented to me, and I spent many days researching the SCS, and many nights praying to God to guide me to the right decision. At the beginning of November 2008, I underwent the trial phase. It was wonderful, magical, spectacular. I was able to do things I hadn't done in over a year- walk the mall, sleep through the night, not take medication for the pain. The trial was a success.
Now the story gets sticky. See, all of this is a result of a worker's comp accident. We are currently in the process of suing my former employer for this surgery to take place. It's a very expensive surgery, and they are fighting us on all of my medical treatment for the disease- they claim the RSD is not a result of the initial injury (even though oh, 8 doctors disagree!). Because of this, almost 9 months later, I am still waiting for the approval for the permanent surgery, either through the court or through settlement.
Through all of this, Brian has been my personal blessing. You have to realize, he has never known me not sick. He has never seen me without this disease. And yet, through the wonders of the Lord and of the heart, he has dedicated his life to me, as I have to him. Through it all, he has remained steadfast and true, something that I no longer take for granted in a man. I often lay awake at night and say prayers of thanksgiving for the amazing, awe-inspiring gift that is Brian. Never has he given up the fight for me to get better, and he is my will and my guiding light in all of this.
So, because of all of that, the foremost reason we decided to have a lengthy engagement? Because I swear, that on my wedding day, I will walk down the aisle to the man that is my love and my everything, pain free and happy. In order for that to happen, I have to have the surgery. We then must leave time to fight and get the approval, have the surgery, and recover- not a short timespan, by any means. Brian, who has never known me without pain, will marry me while I shed tears of happiness and joy, and will not doubt that they are just that.
Friday, June 5, 2009
The cat that started it all
Brian and I met, originally, through church. We attended the same church together when we were young (think birth to 5th grade). At that point, Brian transferred to another church, due to health concerns for his mom (loong story, but his mom is allergic to aspergilous mold, and the church had some in it). I distinctly remember being told that Brian and his family were leaving because "his mom was allergic to the church".
Fast forward, oh, 12 years. I have transferred to a new church myself, with my family. Brian and I reconnect over the internet, and the topic of church membership comes up- where we promptly realize that we attended together in our younger years. Our families know each other, so there's nothing dangerous about this internet reconnection story. Brian and I meet up for a date, and a few days later, make it official that we were together.
Fast forward again, this time 8 months. Brian is moving out into his own apartment, and I have thoroughly convinced him that when he moves, getting a new cat (a baby kitten, and it must be a girl) is the best idea. So we adopt our Baby Mrs. Kitties, AKA Willow, who proceeds to provide much entertainment and love.
Not so fast forward, 4 more months. It's Christmas Eve, and I am dang sure and shootin' that Brian has a ring- I helped him pick it out! Problem is, buddy has taken a liking to amusing himself at my expense, teasing me whenever the urge overtakes him. I have no idea when it's coming. We get home from doing Christmas with his family, and are getting ready to go over to my mom's to meet up with family there. As I am prettying myself, I hear him frantically in the kitchen, "Come quick, there's something wrong with the baby!" Of course, I am off like a rocket, out of the bathroom half dressed and one eye made up, into the kitchen. I look down- funny, the baby seems fine, eating normal. I look closer- there's something white around her neck, something that doesn't belong on her all dark coloring. I pick her up, look closer, and BAM- there's the ring, around her neck. I can't speak. I am a sniveling, half laughing half crying, as he takes the kitty from my arms and asks me to marry him. Of course, I say yes! The best part- the entire time, Baby Mrs. was struggling to get down. She wanted to finish her dinner!
So, because of a cat that wanted to eat, we are now planning a wedding together, set for October 2, 2010.
Fast forward, oh, 12 years. I have transferred to a new church myself, with my family. Brian and I reconnect over the internet, and the topic of church membership comes up- where we promptly realize that we attended together in our younger years. Our families know each other, so there's nothing dangerous about this internet reconnection story. Brian and I meet up for a date, and a few days later, make it official that we were together.
Fast forward again, this time 8 months. Brian is moving out into his own apartment, and I have thoroughly convinced him that when he moves, getting a new cat (a baby kitten, and it must be a girl) is the best idea. So we adopt our Baby Mrs. Kitties, AKA Willow, who proceeds to provide much entertainment and love.
Not so fast forward, 4 more months. It's Christmas Eve, and I am dang sure and shootin' that Brian has a ring- I helped him pick it out! Problem is, buddy has taken a liking to amusing himself at my expense, teasing me whenever the urge overtakes him. I have no idea when it's coming. We get home from doing Christmas with his family, and are getting ready to go over to my mom's to meet up with family there. As I am prettying myself, I hear him frantically in the kitchen, "Come quick, there's something wrong with the baby!" Of course, I am off like a rocket, out of the bathroom half dressed and one eye made up, into the kitchen. I look down- funny, the baby seems fine, eating normal. I look closer- there's something white around her neck, something that doesn't belong on her all dark coloring. I pick her up, look closer, and BAM- there's the ring, around her neck. I can't speak. I am a sniveling, half laughing half crying, as he takes the kitty from my arms and asks me to marry him. Of course, I say yes! The best part- the entire time, Baby Mrs. was struggling to get down. She wanted to finish her dinner!
So, because of a cat that wanted to eat, we are now planning a wedding together, set for October 2, 2010.
First time for everything...
Welcome to the planning website for the wedding of Brittany and Brian!
I never thought I would start one of these, but when your wedding party, family, and friends are spread apart like dirty socks around a teenager's room, it soon becomes necessary.
I will be updating this blog (hopefully) regularly, with details on the planning process, stories that occur in our lives, and maybe a few rants and raves here and there for different vendors we are using. I'll be adding different vendors and websites to the right hand side of the page- feel free to clicky click on some links and take a virtual tour of what our world has become.
Right now, Brian and I are getting ready to chillax with a movie- tomorrow starts an early day, and we are going, going, going alllll day.
If you have any questions, shoot me an email at MsBriarRose@gmail.com. Toodles for now!
I never thought I would start one of these, but when your wedding party, family, and friends are spread apart like dirty socks around a teenager's room, it soon becomes necessary.
I will be updating this blog (hopefully) regularly, with details on the planning process, stories that occur in our lives, and maybe a few rants and raves here and there for different vendors we are using. I'll be adding different vendors and websites to the right hand side of the page- feel free to clicky click on some links and take a virtual tour of what our world has become.
Right now, Brian and I are getting ready to chillax with a movie- tomorrow starts an early day, and we are going, going, going alllll day.
If you have any questions, shoot me an email at MsBriarRose@gmail.com. Toodles for now!
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