How about that wedding?

Figured since it's a wedding/relationship blog, maaaaybe I should say something about weddings. Just maybe.

I have said before that if someone asked me what my theme is, I would reply with "Our theme is us. Everything that plays a part in our wedding day- and in our life together- is important to either one or both of us."

Brian and I are doing the candy buffet as a favor. When we decided to do it, it was with the understanding that we would try to make it fun, and do it cheap. Not meaning to offend anyone who is doing color coordination, but it's my personal opinion that people are not looking at what color M&M's or Skittles or whatever is going into their mouths. They just care that it's yummy! We made the decision that color coordination is not for us, since doing it that way often costs quite a bit more money than doing regular candy. Not only that, but if we color coordinated everything, 1) it would look quite boring, in my opinion, and 2) we wouldn't be able to have a lot of Brian and I's favorite candies! Since the theme is "US", what fun would it be if we can't have Sour Patch Kids because they don't "match"? We have been making a list, with help from family and friends, of what candies we want at the wedding. We would ideally like to do a large buffet, with many styles and choices. If we want to do it that way, saving money on the cost of the candy itself is huge. So, for that purchase, we will be heading to places like Costco and BJ's (both wholesale clubs). A 3 lb. bag of regular M&M's or Skittles sells for about $7. To put that in perspective, for the same price, I can get just Blue M&M's, in a 7 oz bag! 5 lbs of the Color Only selection is $50. Skittles? You can't purchase individual colors, as far as I know- which means that we wouldn't be able to have them in our Blue, White, and Silver wedding (and seeing as how Skittles are my mom's absolute favorite candy, well, we kinda need to have them!).

We also are trying to obtain the containers the cheapest way possible as well. I didn't really want to go down the typical road, using only apothecary and candy jars. I really wanted an eclectic look, with different types of cuts and shapes, holding all sorts of different candy! My older sister, Kelly, who is also my Matron of Honor, is awesome when it comes to this. She has scoured consignment shops and Good Will, looking for vases and bowls and anything glass that we could use to hold candy. She has found some pretty awesome containers that way! We have also been to Marshall's, TJ Maxx, and Ross, looking for cool vases that are inexpensive. Finally, I have also done the Trash to Treasure board on the Knot, and have purchased vases another bride used for her candy buffet in her wedding. Because quite a few brides want to get rid of the extras from their wedding (often, it's overtaking their dining room table or spare bedroom, and they want their space back!), other brides-to-be can often find good deals on items that they are looking for- items they will only use once, and hopefully pass onto other brides who can use them. I managed to get 10 containers for $30. In all, I believe we have around 25 glass items; large, small, low, high, all sorts. It is going to look soooo awesome when it finally comes time to set it all up!

In addition to the glassware and all that we have collected, I have also been gathering little odds and ends, here and there. From the same bride who sold me the glassware, I also purchased the photo cardbox (it 4 8x10's in a square box shape, and our guests can put their cards for us into the middle part) and 20 metal small easels, which we will probably use for either the menus and/or the table numbers. My mom's dining room is starting to look a little crowded.

I also found my wedding day jewelry! While down in NOLA, they had a store set up, and a jewelry section in the store. The lady selling jewelry works for a non-profit missionary group that sends missionaries to Mexico. They also build schools and educate girls, young women, and single mothers. Well, they had some GORGEOUS stuff. I had been looking online, but hadn't been able to find anything that really struck my fancy. While browsing through the jewelry there, I saw this breathtaking cross- turns out, it was made by one of the people they help in Mexico, and one of a kind. Only problem was, it was on a strand of pink freshwater pearls, which would not go with my dress at all. When I mentioned how much I liked it but that it wouldn't match, she said she had her supplies with her, and could make it however I wanted! She redid the necklace with white freshwater pearls, white Swavorski crystals, and blue Swavorski Crystals. She also made earrings to match :) The set is perfect; it's what I was looking for, gorgeous yet simple, not overpowering. And for the same price as I was looking online, I was able to help out a non-profit organization, which made me feel good about my purchase!

I contacted and am currently going through DJ material. I can tell you, I do NOT recommend D&J DJ service. I called them to inquire about their services, and was so uncomfortable and put off on the phone, I refuse to book them, even though they came recommended from several friends who had seen them in action. The entire conversation was about how they were the best, and how I should cut my expenses elsewhere to afford them, and how if I book someone else don't come crying to them about how bad it was because he tried to warn me that they were the best and the only ones that matter, and how my hall is horrible and the equipment is sub par and you can't trust the sound system there...It was horrible, and honestly the most uncomfortable convo I have had with a potential vendor yet. They were way out of my price range, and when I finally could get a word in edgewise, I promptly told them that we were on a budget for a reason, and we were just glad that Brian had a job, since I can't work because of medical conditions, and we had budgeted what we could afford. When I mentioned the economy and me having medical conditions that prevent me from working, he got really quiet for a minute and didn't know what to say- but only for a minute. Then it was back to that they were the best and that I had to find the money by cutting it from other vendors or services. I got off the phone as soon as I could, and promptly crossed them off the list. If you are the type to go with the first vendor you talk to because they pressure you, go for it. Otherwise, steer clear of D&J. I am looking now into Schaffer Sound and Tom Barrett DJ- if you have comments about either, let me know!

That's about it for the wedding updates (at least, I think so). More fun and adventurous posts coming later!

The house that wasn't

Yes. You read right. Wasn't.

We did not get the house. And we will not be purchasing a home for another year. Instead, we will be moving out of our current apartment, and moving into another apartment (one that is better all around- if you are moving to DE, I do not, in any way, recommend Cavalier Country Club Apartments, for a host of reasons!).

What happened? Simple enough, HUD and FHA changed the rules on July 15th. They did it with no notice, and because of the changes, Brian doesn't qualify for FHA anymore. Simply put, he's a 1099 tax form employee, and you have to have been a W2 tax form employee for at least a year.

It's heartwrenching. It's maddening. We had gone through with closing and the inspection, and the mortgage broker waited almost 2 weeks to tell us- something that really got under our skin. Needless to say, we won't be using him in the future. He cost us a ton of money that we wouldn't have had to put out if he had informed us as soon as he knew and understood the rule change. Our wonderful realtor, Lauren, contacted another broker on our behalf, and that one tried and tried to get us through. But when FHA says no, it's a no. The Kicker, with a capital K? The house we were going to end up in was the second house that we looked at in the whole process, back in May. If we had done it then, we would have sneaked in right before the rule change.

Am I mad? Absolutely. I wonder how the government (HUD) and FHA can expect the housing market to be on the upclimb if they keep pulling the funding needed? What's the use in offering the tax credit? I have heard in the rumor mill several things: one, that HUD and the government will most likely be offering another tax credit next year, and most likely in a larger amount. I have also heard through the grapevine that because FHA/HUD put these regulation and rule changes into effect, it will more than likely put us into another 2 or 3 housing slumps; if you thought this was bad, nope. It will get worse from here.

So maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this is God's way of saying, good things come to those who wait. Not that patience was ever one of my virtues. But who knows. Maybe we will end up in a little larger house, that needs a little less work, for the same price or less that we were going to offer. Maybe we will be able to afford a little more, since hopefully by that point I will have had surgery and be able to work, providing more income. I am trying, really I am, to keep a bright outlook. It's not easy, but I am trying.

So we started the look for another apartment. We sure as heck aren't staying here. We found a couple more places that are nicer. They cost more, but what are you going to do? I guess that's the tradeoff. The biggest disappointment for me, besides the not being allowed to choose wall colors and decorate and all, is that Brian had promised me we would get a dog once we moved- a Yorkie, because I want one so desperately. Unfortunately, the complex we will probably move to does not allow dogs. So once more, I am left to wait. Brian said at the latest, it will be my wedding gift.

Please try to understand, that while I am trying to look on the bright side, it's hard. Really hard. Besides the disappointment in a dog, there's so much more. I was looking forward to creating a home with Brian- somewhere we would start a family together. And now, instead of investing the money of mortgage payments back into our future, we are throwing it away in rent, and it's a lot of money that we are throwing away. That makes it very bitter to swallow. VERY bitter.

I know God has a plan, and I have to trust Him. I realize this is a test, and that He will NEVER give me more than I can handle. But just once, it would be nice to be given a break and "win" every so often.

Long time, no see!

I know, it's been a while.

No, I haven't forgotten. I just haven't been in the mood to blog; quite frankly, I haven't been in the mood to do much. So much has gone on in the few short weeks that we have been home from NOLA, good and bad. And all of the overwhelming moments have taken its toll on me, mentally, physically, and emotionally. It's probably safe to say that I am fighting off a bit of depression.

I will explain each thing in its own post- that way, you don't have to read, and read, and read some more. Since I promised you NOLA last time, NOLA is whatcha get!

For another read, head to http://bestofneworleans.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid:59426. I bawled when I read it, and like I said before, we were humbled at the welcoming from the citizens of NOLA, and we thank them for their kindness and welcoming smiles.

As I have posted before, Brian and I are both members at St. Philip's Lutheran Church in Wilmington, DE. We are also both youth advisors for the high school age youth group; we both feel very passionately about giving kids in that tumultuous time period in life a safe haven where they can be welcomed with open arms, loved, cared about, and can just be themselves without the many pressures that teenagers deal with nowadays. It's a wonderful place for them to grow in friendship and faith; I have seen teen lives transformed because of a solid youth program.

Every 3 years, the national church, The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, puts on the National Youth Gathering. It's a week of worship and experiences, friendship and faith. And it's HUGE. Normally, they hold 2 different weeks of the gathering, with 15,000 youth and advisors attending each week. This time, though, things were a little different. Because of the format of the Gathering, the city it's held in must be able to not only handle the amount of people, but have a convention center (where the Interaction Center is held) and a stadium (where worship and large group is held) in close proximity to each other. Because of this, only a few cities qualify- San Antonio, St. Louis, Atlanta...and New Orleans.

The gathering was held in New Orleans 10 years ago, but that was pre-Katrina. When the decision came down from the national church that we would be returning post-Katrina, it seemed natural. They still needed our help, our hands, our smiles and our hugs. We, as Christians, thrive on doing God's work in this world. There was no question- NOLA needed our help, and we were going to help.

This gathering had a different format then previous years. Instead of 2 weeks, everyone attended the same week- which translates to over 37 THOUSAND youth and advisors, plus staff and volunteers. Can you say great for NOLA's economy? It also meant that we were the largest gathering to be hosted in NOLA since Katrina. But none of that meant anything to us. No, the part that mattered was that for 3 days straight, every participant did 1 day of service to the NOLA community. We put 12,000 youth, advisors and volunteers (all in bright orange shirts!) out on the streets, in people's homes, among the dead, in God's natural world, and around the city to help rebuild. Everything from cleaning a cemetery where the buried had become unearthed and had to be cleaned of weeds and reburied, to pulling a foreign weed from the swamps so that the native wildlife could thrive, to rebuilding churches and homes and community centers, planting trees and flowers, to holding a health and book fair for the children of NOLA who had lost everything.

Most importantly, though, we listened. We listened to stories of residents who fled with their children and their pets, losing their wedding and birthday photos. We heard of people reaching out to assist other neighbors- neighbors that wouldn't have spoken otherwise. We heard of heartache and death, renewed hope and faith. And we were touched by how welcoming and grateful the city of NOLA, and all the residents in it, were to many random teenagers.

Every night, we all gathered in the Superdome, the site of so much tragedy, and worshipped. And while we worshipped, the tragedy, the sadness, the loss of life and hope, while not forgotten, never forgotten, were offered up to God with joyful praise in His name...all by teenagers, who so many today are told they cannot make a difference. All by teenagers, who wanted to help in any way possible, even to the point of picking pennies off the street to give in the change only offering. All by teenagers, who move me even now as I remember the impact their smiles and laughter and joy had on so many random people. All by teenagers, who joined together and said we can and we will do God's work in this world, even if our hands are inexperienced and uncalloused; we will praise Him as we work.

We took 7 youth and 4 adults down to NOLA. Our church is blessed with some of the greatest youth I have ever seen; kind and courteous, gentle and caring, joyful and earnest. I watched as each one was transformed that week; one when realizing that all the people he was worshipping with were his age, and he was not alone in this rocky journey of life. Another at a Wendy's, while getting a Frosty, and an older woman telling her tale of losing her fiance in the flood but moving back because this was her home- and her thanking the young strangers that cared and were making a difference. Another as we helped out a homeowner who had been through so much, and even as we joked about his "conspiracies" and his anxiety, were downtrodden that man can be so alone. And yet another as we viewed house after house with the spray painted "X" on the front.

Every night, after Large Group, we would come back to the hotel for "family time"- when the group you traveled with comes together to talk about what they have seen and learned, and to pray. I think that was my most favorite time- I was able to see the hearts of these awe-inspiring young people, laid open and trusting of their church family. I was uplifted by the thoughts and motivation so obvious behind some prayers, and not so obvious in others, but there nonetheless. And I was renewed- in my faith in a loving God who will not forsake His children, in my conviction that these youth will change the world, in my hope and love for fellow mankind. Because, when it comes down to it, we are a steadfast, faithful, hopeful being, and we, no matter what age, can make a difference- with a little elbow grease, some laughter, and an Awesome God who loves us more than we can imagine.