All the accessories

I thought I would do a post on all the little things in the wedding (since I can't post info or pictures about my beautiful dress I am so loved in!).  So, here we go!

My invites- I am in love with my invites.  SO in love.  I wanted something pretty, even if they do get thrown away by our guests.  I wanted to set the tone; more importantly, I wanted something beautiful to frame next to our wedding day photo.

We went with William Arthur, and bought/ordered them from Apropos in Greenville.  They were wonderful there- they worked with us to be in our budget, helped with etiquette, and made sure it was perfect before the printing order was placed.  From placing the order to having them come in was a week- not bad timing :)

We went with the company William Arthur not only for their pricing and formal feel, but because they offered so many customizable options.  Instead of having to order a more expensive invite, we were able to order a basic white cardstock and customize all the addons.  In the end, the fonts, font color, border, inner envelope lining, and flourish on the outer envelopes was our choice.  We ordered the invitation, lined inner envelope, outer envelope, Response card, and Response card envelope.  Both the outer envelope and RSVP envelope had my mom's address printed on them.  We decided to go with the bigger card, which actually saved us money because we were able to forgo the reception card and print the info right on the invitations.

So without further ado, here are our beautiful invites!  You can click on any pictures to enlarge them.

Our gorgeous invitations (with names blanked out)

O

Our RSVP/Response Card

 Our inner lined envelopes (don't you love that liner?!)

We decided to print our direction insert/hotel block card ourselves.  We created it, matched the colors, and printed/cut them at Brian's office.

I have finally picked out most of my accessories for the day of.  I don't have any pictures of the veil, so you will have to wait to that the day of.  Here are the rest of my little details:

H

the comb I fell in love with

 A close up of the comb from my hair trial.  The veil will sit directly below it, so it looks like the two are attached.

My shoes.  Yes, they are Crocs.  Why would I spend $70+ on shoes that make me hurt and I will never wear again?

My one set of Jewelry; my other is my borrowed and old, from Brian's great-grandmother.

Hoped you enjoyed the pictures!

Through sickness and health...

Through all this crazy planning, crazy drama, and the everyday nonsense that takes place, sometimes you just need to be reminded why you are doing this in the first place.  That reminder and God are the only things you need to find the renewed strength to dig in, get things done, and hold dear the one you love so much you are committing you lives to each other.

That form of reminder came today, through my Knotties on the Philly board.  One of them posted this article:
http://m.ajc.com/news/gwinnett/couples-wedding-vows-put-592072.html?cxntlid=sldr

I bawled.  Then I remembered the story of Kelly, who was a friend of Jackie's; they were both members of the May 2009 board on TK.  Kelly married Manny, they went away for their honeymoon, they came back...and she was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer.  Terminal, though from hearing stories and reading her blog, you would have never known because she never gave up fighting.  She also never gave up smiling.  Kelly died a year later in Manny's arms.  She was in her early-mid 30's.  Her blog is here:
http://mannyandkelly.blogspot.com/

Beware, you will need a box of tissues, and that's just for the first post.

These two brides helped to bring that reminder to me today; the reminder of why we are planning this wedding.  This isn't about the reception, the booze, and the gifts; it's not about the dress, flowers, or cake.  It's about the fact that Brian and I love each other so much that, no matter what, we will stick together and make it through as one.  That means when the kids are sick, that means when one of us forgets to put gas in the car, that even means if something tragic and a huge blow to our relationship happened (I don't even want to think about that!).  We made a commitment, before God, our families and friends, and to ourselves, that our love is solid and strong enough to build a life together on it.  And that means right from the time we say I do.

I really feel that so many brides today get lost in the hubbub of planning a wedding; they frustrate themselves over the type of tummy suckers they should wear, the color lipstick, the must take wedding photos, the meals offered, the ribbons tied right...the list goes on and on.  What is worse, often they get so into planning the wedding- they have to have that huge, over the top, grandeur party- that they not only forget why, but they forget that the relationship, the whole reason we are here, needs work.  A wedding is for a day, a marriage for a lifetime.

People often are shocked when they find out that we are not Catholic but are still having a church wedding; why would we want to do this?!  Isn't it inconvenient, a bother to your guests, more money, etc...why not just have the ceremony and reception at the same place?  They don't even ask about our relationship with God, and how the marriage and commitment we make to each other is being made to God.  For us, that is even more binding than a piece of paper that says we are legally married.  We are making our vows in front of the One who created us, knit us both in our mother's wombs, have loved us, laughed with us, cried with us.  And He has never ever left us.  It's the main reason that I truly believe our marriage can withstand anything- if God can give His only Son, Christ, to suffer the agony, embarrassment, pain, torture, just to save me and all who believe, then who am I to withhold forgiveness from others, including my husband?

Anyway, please, please, I beg of you:  When you get home, hug your loved ones, be they moms, dads, sisters, brothers, wifes, husbands, children, whomever.  Never let a chance go by where you can say I love you.  Cherish them, for they are not here on earth forever.  And have faith, strong, unwavering faith, that if they do go to God, you will see them soon; your time on earth without them is a puny number of years compared to the eternity we will spend in heaven with our loved ones and our Lord.

It's the final countdown (well, the first anyway)

Well, ladies and gents, we are 6 weeks away from the wedding.  Which means it's time for Brittany to go crazy, right?

My shower is August 21st.  All I know is the date and location (I don't even know the time!); we decided that I could know that info because of my pain condition.  I didn't want my mom and sister saying come over for a little bit, me showing up in sweat pants because of pain, and it being my shower.  I also didn't want to have something happen where I go out Friday night, and have to recoup on Saturday- and tell my mom no, I can't come.  So she. Meg, Lura, and Jackie (who are helping with my shower, being the awesome girls they are) agreed I could know that much.

I have been registry stalking, though.  I have been told that I will get my mixer, so stop worrying about that.  We also got the Kuerig (which excites me too), and a whole bunch of other stuff.  It's so hard not to stalk, and even more so because I have been having issues with our Macy's registry (lots of stuff being discontinued, not being sold, etc), so I have to be on there to change things and move things around (ie, we had to take our towels off our Macy's registry and move them to our BB&B registry because they kept messing with them and telling us they were on clearance and being discontinued and blah blah blah).  It is fun to see what we are getting!

Our Invitations went out July 31st (after my father added 24 people to the guest list; lovely, I know, right?).  We have heard back from people on a steady basis, and it excites me when my mom calls and tells me that this many people have responded.  So far, only 5 have said no...this could be interesting, that's for sure! 

We had my first fitting with Sophia, which went really well; she is fixing my sleeves, trimming the plastic thread off them, steaming it, and doing a really intricate bustle.  It doesn't need hemming or taking in, it fits like it was made for me otherwise.  Weird thing:  She and her friend, Lula (who works in the shop), know our best maid, Val, and her family.  Lula was like a grandma to Val and her sister.  It's a small world...

We ordered the rest of the girls gifts, got my shoes in, got the train that Devin is going to carry down the aisle, ordered our escort cards (after figuring out how to do them), and ordered a Unity Candle that we really like.  We got the DJ stuff in the mail, picked out our ceremony readings, and picked out ceremony hymns.  We need to meet with the organist, and then I need to email Patrick with everything.  Ugh, the last 6 weeks really are the most stressful.

But, we keep chugging along...

Grandma June's Funeral

We did fly out to Ohio two days after my surgery (the surgeons had okayed it, but told me it was going to be painful).  The TSA agents (the ones who put you through the metal detectors) were wonderful going there; they patted me down, and didn't even make me get out of the wheelchair.  We flew out late (around 9 pm) on AirTran, and by the time we got to the gate, most of the restaurants were closed.  Auntie Anne's took pity on me in the wheelchair when we asked them if they were open and they told us no; they handed me a bag with 3 Cinnamon Sugar pretzels in it for free!  That's 10 dollars worth of free Auntie Anne's!  Needless to say, my friend Jackie was a little jealous.


We had made sure to pack my ice packs (you know, those really nice ones that the hospital gives you, the ones that ice goes in that don't leak, the ones with the strings?), and got a cup of ice to fill it up with before we got on the plane.  I turned on the stim before we got on the plane (I can play with it after the pilot clears electronic devices, but didn't want to), and took a pain med.  The airline got us on the plane before anyone else, which was really nice, because I needed that extra time to get situated.  We took a pillow, and stuck that behind me.  Brian and I had the aisle and middle seat, and he was afraid of the window person having to step over me and all, which would be really uncomfy for me.  The girl initially told us she wanted the window seat, but when we explained why, she was really understanding.  In fact, she asked me a bunch of questions to tell her boyfriend, who was in med school, about.


We landed, and Mark (father in law) picked us three up.  By the time we got to Grandma June's it was after Midnight, and I was exhausted and in a lot of pain.  Mark gave us Grandma June's bedroom (normally he sleeps there and we sleep upstairs in the queen bed), and Brian got me settled in and all.  The next day, Betsy (Brian's great Aunt; she married his grandpa's brother) flew in.  This lady is awesome.  I love her to bits; she so like me.  Carl, her husband, did his time in the Air Force.  Betsy told us because of the expense of flying in for the funeral, she didn't think she would be able to come out for the wedding.  It occurred to me yesterday, though, that because of Carl's time in the Air Force, she can fly stand by on any USAF flight for free- and Dover Air Force Base is right here.  I think I may have Mark contact her and propose that to her, because I would really love to see her again.


The funeral was on Friday.  We got there at 10 am, and the viewing started at 11 am with the funeral and burial after.  The boys, Mark, and Betsy had prepared a photo collage for everyone to look at, and Diane, Betsy's daughter, wrote a very nice piece about Grandma June; several friends and family members sent some very pretty floral arrangements.  People trickled in throughout, including Grandma Mickey and Grandpa Pete; it was awesome to see them and talk to them.  The funeral, while short, was hard on the family (especially Bill, Grandma June's boyfriend and partner in crime; they were truly in love, and that was why the family chose to keep her out there instead of bringing her out here.  We just couldn't do that to Bill).  Brian brought Grandma June's invitation to the wedding with him, and when we went up before they closed the casket, "presented" it to her.  I tear up just thinking about it.  I am so lucky to have been blessed with such a wonderful, caring, sweet fiance/soon to be husband.  The funeral home was very accommodating to me, which was helpful.


We drove to the burial, which was short and sweet.  The residents do the weirdest thing out there.  Not only do people coming the same direction as you stop to let the procession go by, but the other side of the road, which is technically cleared to go, stops as well.  It was weird, yet nice to see respect for those mourning.


After the burial, we went to a Home Country Buffet type place, where we met some more of Brian's family.  Jan and Judy, and Sanford and Carolyn are cousins of Mark's through Grandma June.  It was great to get to meet some of the family on Mark's side, since he is an only child.  Sanford and Carolyn even lived in northern Delaware for a bit, and it was neat to be able to talk to them about it!


Saturday was spent recouping and recovering for me; the rest of the family went to work clearing out the downstairs closets, as well as trying to go through the basement.  We found a whole bunch of stuff that was trash, but in the midst of it all, found several gorgeous quilts.  They had been done by Grandma Lauderbach (Grandma June's mom), and were all hand stitched.  There were 6 in all; 3 were completely done, 2 just needed batting and backing, and 1 was stripes that needed to be sewn together, batted and backed.  We estimate they were finished in the 1930s-1940s- a true family heirloom.  They were breathtaking to see.  We just have to figure out how to get the mildew smell (they don't look horrible, just smell it) out.


Sunday we flew back; we were dropped off at the Dayton Airport around 5 am; Alan and Mark drove back.  We got into BWI around 8:30 am, and my mom came and picked us up.  All in all, the trip went well, and we were glad to be able to go out to say goodbye for now.

Two Week Post Surgery Update

Friday was my two week post op appointment with the surgeon's office.  I wanted to wait to update until then, because, well, I wasn't really feeling the updating, if ya get me.

Things are going beautifully.  I have a restriction to drive for the next 3-5 weeks, and I also can't swim until next week (baths in my own bathtub are okay).  I have a 4 inch inscision on my lower lumbar area (epidural space area), and a 3.5 inch inscicion on my upper left butt.  In the butt area, they created a pocket in which to put the battery; I opted for the smaller battery that requires a more often charging, because I (being a girl) didn't want the larger battery (which was massive) to stick out.  The doctor used internal sutures and Dermabond (the Super Glue for Surgery) on the wounds; they are both healed (for the most part; I do have one little internal suture sticking out of my butt inscision, hence the swimming retriction) and the Dermabond has come off the spinal wound completely, and is starting to come off the butt wound.

My pain med usage is down drastically; I only take oral meds at night now.  Now, granted, this isn't a cure, so there are days that my pain levels just can't be helped by the stim, and I have to take some oral pain meds.  But considering where I was, well, this is amazing!

It really hit me how helpful this is and how blessed I am now last Friday after my appointment.  We got back, and mom and sister drug me to the mall, to Forever 21.  We walked the entire mall- and not only did I not use pain meds, I didn't need my cane at all (it was left in the car, just in case).  It finally hit me that in 6 weeks, my dream of walking down the aisle/dancing with my husband with no meds, no canes, no wheelchairs is going to come true.  And I am so incredibly thankful for that.  Not only that, but I am so incredibly thankful for my family, my friends, and my fiance- none of them have stopped fighting nor have they stopped believing that I would get this.  Brian has never known me "not sick"- and yet he sticks by my side faithfully and lovingly.  Some couples go through life and never have to go through anything like this; others go through it time and again.  Some make it every time, others break up after the first experience.  I am confident and have faith we will be able to make it through anything after this.

The company rep for the stimulator was there, and they added more programs (ie, how the stim runs, what it feels like pulsing versus steady, etc).  They added these two really awesome programs that I love (in addtion to others).  The one stays on for two hours, then turns off automatically- I love it for bedtime.  The other, good for long days, is on for 2 hours, turns off for 15 minutes, then turns back on for 2 hours, and so on.  He added that one specifically for the wedding day :)  Whenever I want a change in program, or want to add more, all I have to do is call the rep and they will meet me whenever at my doctors office 15 minutes away, which is pretty awesome!

Oh, and I forgot to mention waking up after the surgery.  Apparently, I was hollering so loud the other patients were like WTF Mate?  I was yelling for FI and water.  Lovely.

So, all in all, healing is coming along nicely.  We have charged in once, and that went well considering it was our first time doing so.

D-Day.

That's right.  It's D Day- Surgery Day.

I won't lie; I am scared.  I mean, anything messing with the spine is scary.  The recovery isn't going to be fun.  But when all is said and done, the quality of life improvement far outweighs the painful recovery.  I will have a life again, I will be a productive member of society.  And nothing sounds better (well, except for marrying Brian) than that.

Speaking of Brian, I wanted to let everyone who doesn't already know that is grandmother, June Washburn, passed away at the age of 84 yesterday at 3:15 pm.  She had a heart attack early Saturday morning which blew her valve out.  It was downhill from there.  They had her on machines keeping her body chemistry in balance and a ventilator.  Right before 3 pm, the doctors were able to give her a shot of something to bring her to consciousness, and Mark (Brian's dad) was able to say goodbye to her.  We don't know if she understood, but I think she did.  Within 3 minutes of putting her back under and taking her off the machines, it was evident the machines were keeping her alive.  Within 15 minutes, she was gone.  While this was the worst possible weekend for her to go, with surgery for me being today, God works in His timing.  Mark was supposed to go there last weekend, and was delayed until this weekend.  God knew why, and was directing our footsteps.  We will fly out late Wednesday (which will be extremely painful for me, but possible; I want to be there to support my future husband during this difficult time), and most likely come back Sunday.  Viewing and Funeral are scheduled for Friday morning. 

Please, if we come to mind, we would be thankful for prayers.  For Brian, as he deals with the passing of his beloved grandmother and for the strength to get through this (it's the first real close family member he has ever had pass that he really has to deal with; having dealt with my grandpa's passing 2 years ago, I know what he is feeling right now).  And for today for the surgery; for God to guide the surgeons and nurses in their care of me and others, for the surgery to go well with no complications, for a swift recovery and minimal pain, and for the strength to be there for Brian when he needs it. 

Dear Lord, please protect Your child, keep Brittany safe and have your angels watch over her before, during, and after surgery.  Keep Brittany, Sharon (her mother), Brian, and all family members and friends calm and always trusting in You during this time.  Let them know You are the great I AM, and will never forsake one of Your own.  Help Brittany to heal fast, and deal with the pain in a gracious manner.  Give her strength to get through this, give Brian strength to take care of her, and watch over all Your children, always.  Comfort Brian during this time of grief; let him know that Grandma June is with Jesus now, in no pain, and watching over him always.  Give him strength to get through the next week, healing of his heart and closure on Friday at the funeral, and many good, happy, and beloved memories of his Grandma June.  Let him know that his Savior is always there for him, and because of Jesus, not only is Grandma June safe in Heaven with Grandpa Clair, but that we will see her and be with her in Eternity with our Lord.  Amen.

I don't know when I will be able to update again; we will see how the pain is.  Thank you for your prayers.

Thoughts and Prayers

For those of you who may not know, I was diagnosed with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy of the left leg and ankle in 2006 following a worker's comp injury. RSD is a chronic pain condition where the nerves become damaged after a seemingly simple injury (a twisted ankle in my case), and the signaling gets stuck in the 'on' position. Once that happens, the Central Nervous System is then considered damage and there is currently no FDA-approved 'cure'. You may have heard of the people who go to Germany and get put into a coma for a week to reset the brain; that procedure is not approved here yet, though there are similar ones with the same drugs that are allowed. I will have this for the rest of my life, and I am only 23- that is a big hard knock pill for me to swallow. I have been through PT, 18 spinal nerve blocks (and counting!), a spinal cord stim trial, and so many meds I can't name them all. For more info about my disease and the treatment that the doctors are recommending (Spinal Cord Stimulator), visit the two sites below:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_regional_pain_syndrome
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinal_cord_stimulator

Brian has never known me without this disease, and he has dedicated all he has and all he is to caring for me. I am not allowed to drive, cannot work or go to school; I am an invalid. There are days I cannot get out of bed. Brian knows all of this, and yet he never complains- he washes my hair when I can't stand in the shower and have to use the shower stool, he makes me meals, he wakes up and gets me drinks at 3 am when I have cotton mouth, he drives me everywhere, I even moved in with him because he is better able to care for me than my mom is with her work schedule (we had planned to wait until after the wedding)...I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. Ask anyone who have met him, and they will tell you what a God-given gift I have in Brian.

I just wanted to give an update that we are going to court for my worker's comp case next Tuesday, Feb 3. This is not for the entire case, but to determine whether a Spinal Cord Stimulator is "medically necessary". This has been over a year in the making (I had the trial part end of October 2008, and was supposed to have the permanent surgery beginning of Dec 2008, and they denied it the day before the surgery. Ever since then, it's been a fight), and even though we have the medical data and doctor backing we need, it's not guaranteed. If they deny this on Feb 3, it's a final decision and I cannot dispute it- so the court date and possible outcomes are weighing heavily on me.

Right now, this is the only procedure that will offer me relief that I can hope for (ketamine infusions, the drug they use in the Germany comas, are an option, but the doctor who does them, Dr. Schwartzman out of Drexel, is the world's leading expert in my disease and has a waiting list of over 2 years. My current appointment date with him is end of January 2012!). It's not ideal, but nothing regarding what I have is, so this is what I am hoping for to help me live pain-free.

I do have to say, this has been a learning experience for me. I struggled for many months after being denied the surgery- it was my dream that I could walk down the aisle without support of a person/cane/crutches/wheel

chair, and it seemed to me that they stole the 'beauty' of my day right out from under me. I have grown though- and learned that that's not what it's about at all. Coming to the realization that if Brian will love me sick, he will love me well was one that was difficult for me (I believe he deserves so much better, he's dedicated his life at 23 to taking care of an invalid and has never once made a derogatory or hurtful comment about it and now I am crying...). Nevertheless, I am happy to say that whether I walk down the aisle with a (very jazzed up and decorated) cane or without aide, the outcome will be the same, and that is all that matters. The walk back down and the first dance with no pain would be icing on the cake, but it's not going to make or break our special day.

It’s also been a growing process for me in other ways, not just in wedding planning. Brian and I made the decision to attend pre-marital counseling (outside of what our church requires with a Christian counselor who specializes in this) because we realize the strain that this could have on us and our relationship, and we want to be as prepared as a couple can be for whatever life throws at them. I HIGHLY recommend all engaged couples attend separate pre-marital counseling from what their church may require (no matter the denomination); consider it ‘fireproofing’ your marriage.

But in other ways, too, I have changed. I try my hardest to let go of things and give them to God (my faith has been amazingly strengthened during all of this), and that has become much easier as time has gone on. I try to find the good in things; Ma Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie once said, “There is no great loss without some small gain”, and I try to find that small gain in everything I do. It has helped tremendously to see and appreciate the little things (like going for random ice cream with friends and laughing for over an hour!). I have learned to accept where I have gone wrong and try to right that wrong as best I can- I realized that if I can apologize and try to make that first step where someone else may not, my relationships with everyone in my life have improved dramatically. I try (still learning on this one) to not stress about it all; God will make it work. Most of all, I have learned the power of prayer and the wonder of my faith. While the response to those prayers may not be what I want to hear, God is always with me and has many bigger and better things in mind for me. I get very happy (not proud, but genuinely happy) when I see the growth I have made in my life and in my relationships and in my faith. I realize I still have a very far way to go, and that it's a never-ending journey of growth, but this time has been such an eye-opener for me. I have found out that family, no matter if they mess up, love you and will try their best to always be there for you. I have learned the bonds of sisterhood (both real and relationship-wise!) cannot be broken, no matter how much you or someone else you know tries. I have learned who my true friends are, and feel so welcomed and loved by the heartfelt emotions that comes of a great friendship. I have learned that reconnecting with great friends lost along the way is a marvelous thing in and of itself, but rebuilding that relationship that once meant so much is a glorious and awe-inspiring thing, indeed. I have learned the wonders of prayer and a church family, and cannot thank God and those from that family enough for their gentle loving and guidance. Even with being sick, I feel so extraordinarily blessed- thank you so very, very much to those who have played an important role in my life.

Therefore, anyway, if y'all could offer up some prayers, thoughts, and vibes for me, it would be very greatly appreciated. I know I haven't always been the easiest person to get along with, and I realize that; if we have had our differences, please, take this as a sincere apology. I have learned the bitterness and poison of hatred and the sting of bitterness, and I have learned that life is so much better with an apology, a smile, and wiping the slate clean. You all are wonderful. If anyone has any questions, please, feel free to email me and ask away- msbriarrose@gmail.com.

If I forgot to tag you, I am sorry. It does not mean, in anyway, that you are not important. I went through the list and tried to get everyone as best I could. There are so many of you who are very important, and I love you just as much!

Annnnnd enough of the sappiness. Back to business as usual!