Mr. and Mrs. Washburn- October, 2, 2010 (rehearsal and rehearsal dinner)

Our wedding day was more than I could have ever dreamed of.  It went so beautifully, and I have so many memories that I will treasure for many, many years to come.

Friday night was the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.  Everyone met up at the church- myself, Brian, Meghan, Kelly, Carl, Logan, Macey, Aubrey, Torey, Sadey, Grandma, Dad, Mom, Terri, Mark, Alan, Shannon, Fah-Pow, Devin, Sheenie, Val, Patrick, Karen, and Sonia.  We ran through the wedding in its entirety two times.  Then we all piled in cars, and headed to Buckley's Tavern.  We had a blast there, just enjoying ourselves.  Dawn (Patrick's wife), Aunt Cheryl and Brent, Mojo all joined us at the restaurant.  The food was wonderful, the drinks were yumyumyummy.  We gave everyone their gifts there.  Here is what we got everyone:

Parents (Mom, Dad, Terri, Mark)
Silver plated double frame with the invitation on one side and an opening for their choice of wedding pics on the other.

Mojo
A Lolita wine glass (Little Black Dress)

Meghan
Lands End Medium Tote, embroidered with MEG
Eliza B. Flip Flops
OPI travel sized nail polishes (5 colors and 1 clear)
Post it notes
Blank note cards
Travel Tissues
Black Clutch Wallet
3 PocketBacs from Bath and Body Works

Kelly
Lands End Medium Tote, embroidered with initials
iHome
Life is Good mug in Purple
Life is Good long sleeved tee in Purple
Black Clutch Wallet
Blank Note Cards
3 PocketBacs

Val
Vera Bradley Bag in Mediterrian Blue
set of 10 Note Cards
Coach Leather Portfolio
Coach Umbrella in Yellow
Coach Passport Cover
3 PocketBacs

Carl
Underdog Tee
6 pack of Killian's
2 Harley-Davidson Beer Mugs

Alan
Camping equipment
(I can't remember what else, I will ask Brian when he's awake!)

Devin
Cars reusable tote bag (from the Disney store, the ones you can use at the grocery store)
Cars mug with straw
Thomas the Tank Engine MegaBloks
Edward (Thomas' friend) MegaBloks
Percy (Thomas' friend) MegaBloks
Ring Bearer Train that we painted

Sadey
Disney Princess clear Tote/Purse
Blue Heart necklace
White little purse
Cinderella doll
Disney Princess mug with straw
Pomander Ball she carried down the aisle

Everyone really appreciated their gifts, which made us feel good- we put a lot of time and thought into them for each of them.  I really did not want to do the across the board same gifts for everyone thing; I wanted them to feel like I really thought about them, thought about what they would appreciate, and put some time into it.  And before you jump to conclusions, we actually did not spend much money.  We tried to get really good deals at many different locations, and that way get more items or nicer items that the person would really enjoy.

For dessert, we did something simple that we both love.  Instead of doing a cake (including the groom's cake- that was at the wedding reception for everyone to see), we went to BJ's and Costco and bought some awesome cheesecake.  It's a little different and untraditional, but everyone loved it.  We did a regular one and a mixed variety one.  Everyone said they enjoyed not having another piece of regular cake (since they would be getting it the next day!). 

Buckley's really was wonderful.  We booked them 6 months in advance, and that is considered late by their standards.  They usually book up 9-12 months in advance; we got lucky!  There was no problem for guests coming into the room; they were able to just walk right in.  They had printed up personalized menus for the night of what we were offering. The food was absolutely delicious (we offered a steak, a crab cake, and a vegetarian option, and the kids could order chicken fingers and fries); it literally melted in your mouth.  The atmosphere was the reason we chose Buckley's; it's laidback but still business attire.  We like to call it rustic semi-formal.  It really feels like an upscale tavern!  The room we were in was in the back, and even though the restaurant was crowded (it always is on a Friday), once we shut the doors it was very comfortable and not loud at all.  The bathrooms were right there, across the dining area right outside our room; we did not have to cross the entire crowded restaurant nor go near the bar to get to them.  The drinks were well done and like I said, yummy.  I had several :)  The service was okay; they had a new server (it was his first day) and he seemed frazzled by it all.  The other guy disappeared for longer than we liked.  By the time we got there, it was late and we wanted to get the kids' food first, but it took a while and they didn't bring them all at once.  They messed up a couple of drink orders at first, though they were corrected.  Overall, the service was okay, but not outstanding.  It's not something so bad that I won't ever go back, nor should it deter you from going.  The only really big complaint I have is their parking.  They have a very, very, very tiny lot, and for as busy as it gets on the weekends, the lot size is just too small.  Street parking is available, but some of our guests had to hike a little ways.  There were no lines in the lot, except for the handicapped spots, and there were only two of those.  There was no rhyme or reason to the parking, and people coming in the out and going out the in- a problem when you couldn't fit two cars side-by-side to get through, and nowhere to pull over to let cars by.  I am of the opinion that they have parties and private events enough that they should have separate parking for people attending those events.  Really, for as busy and as popular as they are, the parking problem is a huge issue.  Overall, I would give them a grade of B+; while everything was wonderful, the parking really was that big of an issue to drop them down to a B+.  We had guests show up 15-30 minutes late because of the parking situation.  If you plan on going here, organize carpools and adjust your schedules for the trying-to-find-a-spot time.

Consider this your first wedding post.  The next one (hopefully tomorrow) will be on getting ready for the wedding (hair, makeup, getting dressed, my only freakout, and arriving at the church).  The installment after that will be about waiting for the ceremony to start, the ceremony, and pictures afterwards.  Finally, I will talk about the awesomeness that was the reception :)  Hey, I have to keep you coming back somehow, right?

One more thing:  keep checking out our photog's site.  Stephanie Glover did an Ah-Mazing job.  I simply can't get enough of our slideshow :)  Oh, and our picture is at the top of her website- that's us holding out the rings :)  If you need a photog, for anything from weddings to life events to family pictures, I really urge you to go check her out.  Switching from our old photog to her a month before the wedding (yeah, that's another story) was the best decision we made regarding the wedding, hands down.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Or not.  Well, in terms of what this time of year stands for, it absolutely is.  In terms of the cold and extra pain that accompanies it, it's not.

I promise I have been around.  I was working on a blog post for a while, and I still am.  I am trying to figure out the best time to post it, since it deals with a sensitive and controversial topic.

Anyway, What's new in the BLWSquared household?  Not much at all.  We rearranged our living room tonight, and it looks great.  Since Brian did most of the legwork, unloading everything out of the bookcase and TV stand, I was able to push a little bit instead of lift, and we were able to get everything in position.  I then reloaded and organized everything in the display areas, and the books.  We dismantled the 55 gal fish tank, which will go into storage; the fish is now in a 10 gal tank.  The big tank was just too big, and took up too much room in our tiny place.  Once we get a house with some more wall space, we will put the big tank up (and perhaps add some more fish to our lonely ciclid...perhaps).

This now allows for us to put up the Christmas decorations!  YAY!  Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year.  And not just the day, but the period before- Advent, the time of waiting and watching.  It started today, and sadly because of my pain level this morning we missed the first service.  There is just something so mysterious and marvelous about Advent.  Lighting the Advent candles on the Advent wreath, placing the treasured figurines in the Creche...all of it brings back cherished memories for me. 

I love decorating for Christmas, especially our tree.  One of the things that I absolutely loved about our tree at my mom's was that we never had ornaments that didn't have a meaning.  No boring balls, no "kits" from Wal-mart.  Every single ornament that was placed on that tree had a story, a special meaning or event that it represented.  From Meg's and my First Christmas ornaments, to the wooden ornament with one streak of marker on it that I "colored" when I was a baby, to the various nurse ornaments that my mom has received from both us kids and patients, to the ornament for each and every trip we have ever taken, the homemade ones that my mom treasures so dearly, the Hey Diddle Diddle cow and moon ornaments representing my favorite nursery rhyme, the I Love Lucy ones that my sister collected during her craze for that show (she still loves them).  There are so many, and all of them have a story.  Some are worth quite a bit, like the ones my mom brought back from Germany (made in West, bought in East) on her trip there when she was in her mid 20s, and others are just colored paper, like the paper one my older sister Kelly made for me when I was a baby.  When we unpack them, the stories are often told, memories are shared, laughter and smiles abound.  There are certain ones that only that person can put up- like my baby ornaments for me, or the angel getting its wings ornament for my mom (that's a special, personal story).  I love our tree, each and every year, because it tells a story.  There is nothing boring about our tree, and at night, when it's lit up and the house is quiet and you just look at it...it's truly inspirational.  I love how personal our tree is, and I personally think every tree should be that way.  It's one of the reasons I give personalized ornaments to people as gifts- every tree should tell a story.

Last year, when Brian and I bought our skinny little pre-lit fake first tree, we didn't have many ornaments.  He got his personal and special ornaments from his parents, and I brought over mine.  We had some friends give us some old ball ornaments, that we decided to use for color.  We also bought some fun ones- like the Sock Monkey one that reminds me of the Sock Monkey I had growing up.  There were not many, and it looked a little bare.  But it told a story of a new family starting out, and I loved our first tree just for that reason.

In other areas, I am desperately trying to finish the thank you cards for the wedding.  Then I get to start in on Christmas Cards :)  I love sending Christmas Cards- people today so rarely send things in the mail.  The world today has gotten so impersonal with the world of technology.  Yes, an email is quick, but a card of any type shows caring.  That person cared enough to buy it, write it out, get stamps, stick it in the mail box.  We so infrequently get that nowadays, but Christmas and the cards that get sent out take us back to pre-technology for just a wee bit.  They distract from our busy worlds, both as they are being written out and as they are being read.  I love what it all stands for!  We haven't found ones that we like yet- usually we have to go to Hallmark and we haven't made it there yet- but I can't wait to send them out this year.

I was getting ready to type about the wedding, but I figured I would instead do a whole separate post dedicated to that.  I'll go do that now :)

I took the pledge...

Have you taken the pledge?

People with intellectual disabilities deserve the same respect that you and I, as "normal" people, deserve.  We are all human, individual beings created in God's image.  We all deserve respect and love and faith.

I read this article on The Review's website (the newspaper for University of Delaware.  I guarantee you will tear up at it, as I did.  Here is the link.

I took the pledge to never say the R word again.  The R (retarded) is a demeaning, horrible word akin to the N word for African Americans and the F word for homosexuals.  But everyday, people throw this word around- in a joking manner, in a disrespectful manner, in an ignorant manner.  They don't know the hurt that comes with this word, the horrible feeling that eats up a person when someone tosses it around like it's a baseball.  And it's not just the person with the intellectual disability, it's also their families, their friends that are hurt as well.

Take the pledge to respect all humans the same.  Take the pledge to remove this word from your vocabulary, and to start using people first language.  People first language is where you define the person by what they are, not what they have.  Instead of saying "autistic child", say "little boy who has autism".  Instead of saying "crippled woman" say "the lady in the wheelchair".  The person is not the disability, whether intellectual or physical, so don't talk like they are only their disability.

You can take the pledge at http://www.r-word.org/.  Then, invite your friends to take the pledge.  Make a conscious effort to remove this word from your language, and your family and friends' as well.

While there, grab the button to put on your blog and show that you took the pledge.  Be proud of it.

What else can you do?  Get involved.  There are so many organizations- Autism Delaware, DFRC Blue-Gold Football Game, Variety, Easter Seals, Chimes- and they all welcome volunteers.  You can also look into being a buddy or therapy assistant for a child with a disability. 

Being a disability minor, I get emails from the school about different parents looking for help with their child- it may be a day buddy where you take them out and have fun to help them learn social skills, it may be watching them after school until mom gets home, it may be a therapy assistant.
I got this email from one mom looking for a therapy assistant for her son who has Autism.  Devin has severe Autism and is non verbal, and when I met him he was not potty trained.  Shannon is a mom with a mission- she is totally dedicated to her son and daughter, and works tirelessly trying to find any way possible to help her son.  When Devin was diagnosed, she packed up her family and moved to Delaware from Colorado, because of the Delaware Autism Program.  Talk about a lioness protecting her cub- she reminded me of my mom when we were going through the divorce, doing whatever had to be done to make sure her kids were taken care of.
I applied for the job, and was immediately impressed by what she had done.  Shannon had learned ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis; the only accepted form of treatment for Autism) from a professional, then hired students from UD to help with his therapy.  She had turned their whole basement into a work zone for Devin to learn in.  Every day, after school, Devin would work with his mom and one assistant for 2.5 hours.  And the learning didn't end there- whenever there was an opportunity, Shannon used it to help Devin.  She even went back to school to get another degree in ABA.

I worked with Devin for a year, until unfortunately I couldn't work because of my leg and RSD.  But by that point, Shannon, Fah-Pow, Sheenie, and Devin had become not just friends but family.  When Brian and I got engaged, we knew right away we wanted Devin to be our ringbearer.  When we asked Shannon, there were tears all around.  We didn't care that there might be a tantrum if he didn't want to walk, or didn't want to wear the tux.  We didn't care that he might stop in the middle of the aisle to lay down and play with his train Ring Pillow (we did a ring train instead of a pillow, since he loves trains, and gave it to him as a gift!).  Meg offered to walk down the aisle with him, and there were more tears when we told her that Meg was giving up walking in the special spot of Maid of Honor to help Devin.  He ended up walking down the aisle in his dad's arms, holding the train and the cloth he loves, and we couldn't have been happier. 

If I hadn't responded to that job call, I would have never made new family members.  I cannot tell you how much Brian and I treasure the memories we have made with Devin and his family.  I cannot count the number of gloomy days that were immediately cheered up by his bright precocious smile.  I am so thankful to God for sending this family into my life.

Because of Devin, and because of my niece who was recently diagnosed with mild Autism, I fight.  I pledge to make a difference by never using the R word again. 

Have you taken the pledge?

I really need to get better at this...

Yeah, it's been almost two months since my last post ::hangs head::... I really need to work harder at making this blog a priority.

And if you couldn't tell from previous posts when the wedding was...

I'M OFFICIALLY MRS. BLW SQUARED!!!!

That's right- no more Miss for me!  The wedding is over, done, and I am officially married with a husband!  

Of course, that leaves quite a bit of ground to cover in this lovely blog of mine.  Because in between that last blog post of mine and this update, a TON happened that was wedding related.  And it's not all going to get covered in this post.  No way.  So how about a new update each day, instead, each dealing with something wedding related?  yeah, that's what I thought too.

The wedding itself?  Wonderful.  Fantastic.  Out of this world.  Our dream wedding.  Beautiful.  It was the day of our lives, and I cannot believe it's over.  The ceremony was breathtaking, the reception was tons of fun, everything went off without a hitch (well, almost everything- I'll tell you about the rings, I promise)... It was just a fantabulous day for the both of us, over all.

I will post pics, I promise.  Once I get them back from our fabulous new photog, Stephanie Glover (yeah, that's another story for y'all), I will post a whole crapload, I promise.

For now, I will leave you with this:  We are happy.  We are living together, enjoying having nothing to worry about now that the wedding is behind us.  The honeymoon was ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL- we had a blast in Disney World.  We are glad to be home, glad to have the pets around us again, glad to be back to normal lives.  

And glad to be able to call each other Husband and Wife :) 

I'll leave you with one photo as a teaser...

The rest of the photos just get better and better, I promise :)

 

All the accessories

I thought I would do a post on all the little things in the wedding (since I can't post info or pictures about my beautiful dress I am so loved in!).  So, here we go!

My invites- I am in love with my invites.  SO in love.  I wanted something pretty, even if they do get thrown away by our guests.  I wanted to set the tone; more importantly, I wanted something beautiful to frame next to our wedding day photo.

We went with William Arthur, and bought/ordered them from Apropos in Greenville.  They were wonderful there- they worked with us to be in our budget, helped with etiquette, and made sure it was perfect before the printing order was placed.  From placing the order to having them come in was a week- not bad timing :)

We went with the company William Arthur not only for their pricing and formal feel, but because they offered so many customizable options.  Instead of having to order a more expensive invite, we were able to order a basic white cardstock and customize all the addons.  In the end, the fonts, font color, border, inner envelope lining, and flourish on the outer envelopes was our choice.  We ordered the invitation, lined inner envelope, outer envelope, Response card, and Response card envelope.  Both the outer envelope and RSVP envelope had my mom's address printed on them.  We decided to go with the bigger card, which actually saved us money because we were able to forgo the reception card and print the info right on the invitations.

So without further ado, here are our beautiful invites!  You can click on any pictures to enlarge them.

Our gorgeous invitations (with names blanked out)

O

Our RSVP/Response Card

 Our inner lined envelopes (don't you love that liner?!)

We decided to print our direction insert/hotel block card ourselves.  We created it, matched the colors, and printed/cut them at Brian's office.

I have finally picked out most of my accessories for the day of.  I don't have any pictures of the veil, so you will have to wait to that the day of.  Here are the rest of my little details:

H

the comb I fell in love with

 A close up of the comb from my hair trial.  The veil will sit directly below it, so it looks like the two are attached.

My shoes.  Yes, they are Crocs.  Why would I spend $70+ on shoes that make me hurt and I will never wear again?

My one set of Jewelry; my other is my borrowed and old, from Brian's great-grandmother.

Hoped you enjoyed the pictures!

Through sickness and health...

Through all this crazy planning, crazy drama, and the everyday nonsense that takes place, sometimes you just need to be reminded why you are doing this in the first place.  That reminder and God are the only things you need to find the renewed strength to dig in, get things done, and hold dear the one you love so much you are committing you lives to each other.

That form of reminder came today, through my Knotties on the Philly board.  One of them posted this article:
http://m.ajc.com/news/gwinnett/couples-wedding-vows-put-592072.html?cxntlid=sldr

I bawled.  Then I remembered the story of Kelly, who was a friend of Jackie's; they were both members of the May 2009 board on TK.  Kelly married Manny, they went away for their honeymoon, they came back...and she was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer.  Terminal, though from hearing stories and reading her blog, you would have never known because she never gave up fighting.  She also never gave up smiling.  Kelly died a year later in Manny's arms.  She was in her early-mid 30's.  Her blog is here:
http://mannyandkelly.blogspot.com/

Beware, you will need a box of tissues, and that's just for the first post.

These two brides helped to bring that reminder to me today; the reminder of why we are planning this wedding.  This isn't about the reception, the booze, and the gifts; it's not about the dress, flowers, or cake.  It's about the fact that Brian and I love each other so much that, no matter what, we will stick together and make it through as one.  That means when the kids are sick, that means when one of us forgets to put gas in the car, that even means if something tragic and a huge blow to our relationship happened (I don't even want to think about that!).  We made a commitment, before God, our families and friends, and to ourselves, that our love is solid and strong enough to build a life together on it.  And that means right from the time we say I do.

I really feel that so many brides today get lost in the hubbub of planning a wedding; they frustrate themselves over the type of tummy suckers they should wear, the color lipstick, the must take wedding photos, the meals offered, the ribbons tied right...the list goes on and on.  What is worse, often they get so into planning the wedding- they have to have that huge, over the top, grandeur party- that they not only forget why, but they forget that the relationship, the whole reason we are here, needs work.  A wedding is for a day, a marriage for a lifetime.

People often are shocked when they find out that we are not Catholic but are still having a church wedding; why would we want to do this?!  Isn't it inconvenient, a bother to your guests, more money, etc...why not just have the ceremony and reception at the same place?  They don't even ask about our relationship with God, and how the marriage and commitment we make to each other is being made to God.  For us, that is even more binding than a piece of paper that says we are legally married.  We are making our vows in front of the One who created us, knit us both in our mother's wombs, have loved us, laughed with us, cried with us.  And He has never ever left us.  It's the main reason that I truly believe our marriage can withstand anything- if God can give His only Son, Christ, to suffer the agony, embarrassment, pain, torture, just to save me and all who believe, then who am I to withhold forgiveness from others, including my husband?

Anyway, please, please, I beg of you:  When you get home, hug your loved ones, be they moms, dads, sisters, brothers, wifes, husbands, children, whomever.  Never let a chance go by where you can say I love you.  Cherish them, for they are not here on earth forever.  And have faith, strong, unwavering faith, that if they do go to God, you will see them soon; your time on earth without them is a puny number of years compared to the eternity we will spend in heaven with our loved ones and our Lord.

It's the final countdown (well, the first anyway)

Well, ladies and gents, we are 6 weeks away from the wedding.  Which means it's time for Brittany to go crazy, right?

My shower is August 21st.  All I know is the date and location (I don't even know the time!); we decided that I could know that info because of my pain condition.  I didn't want my mom and sister saying come over for a little bit, me showing up in sweat pants because of pain, and it being my shower.  I also didn't want to have something happen where I go out Friday night, and have to recoup on Saturday- and tell my mom no, I can't come.  So she. Meg, Lura, and Jackie (who are helping with my shower, being the awesome girls they are) agreed I could know that much.

I have been registry stalking, though.  I have been told that I will get my mixer, so stop worrying about that.  We also got the Kuerig (which excites me too), and a whole bunch of other stuff.  It's so hard not to stalk, and even more so because I have been having issues with our Macy's registry (lots of stuff being discontinued, not being sold, etc), so I have to be on there to change things and move things around (ie, we had to take our towels off our Macy's registry and move them to our BB&B registry because they kept messing with them and telling us they were on clearance and being discontinued and blah blah blah).  It is fun to see what we are getting!

Our Invitations went out July 31st (after my father added 24 people to the guest list; lovely, I know, right?).  We have heard back from people on a steady basis, and it excites me when my mom calls and tells me that this many people have responded.  So far, only 5 have said no...this could be interesting, that's for sure! 

We had my first fitting with Sophia, which went really well; she is fixing my sleeves, trimming the plastic thread off them, steaming it, and doing a really intricate bustle.  It doesn't need hemming or taking in, it fits like it was made for me otherwise.  Weird thing:  She and her friend, Lula (who works in the shop), know our best maid, Val, and her family.  Lula was like a grandma to Val and her sister.  It's a small world...

We ordered the rest of the girls gifts, got my shoes in, got the train that Devin is going to carry down the aisle, ordered our escort cards (after figuring out how to do them), and ordered a Unity Candle that we really like.  We got the DJ stuff in the mail, picked out our ceremony readings, and picked out ceremony hymns.  We need to meet with the organist, and then I need to email Patrick with everything.  Ugh, the last 6 weeks really are the most stressful.

But, we keep chugging along...